When Plutos Attack!
by Emporess
Summary: Hentai Fanboy Fanservice w/author Avatars and tons of Crossovers :P
1. Happy Birthday, Welcome to Hell!

Before reading this, I would suggest taking a peak at any of   
the stories on here by the authors. Atleast skim =). This was  
written purely to torture Scott and me on our respective  
b-days :P It has no effect on Fall From Grace or any of  
Scott "Cyclops" Summerton's writings.  
  
Hold on to your socks, Its showtime!  
  
As always, Sailor Moon ain't mine.  
  
********************************************************  
  
In a dimension that did not really exist, in a world  
of Anime that was purely fictional, a woman who was impossibly  
old sat reading a fan fic. Her eyes scanned over the text,  
devouering each word. As she read she idly played with a  
long, ornate staff in her hand.  
Each time she finished a page she would crumple it  
up and toss it behind her. Pieces of paper were littered  
across the ground. The woman remained expressionless  
throughout her readings, turning the pages monotonously.  
Finally she got down to the last two pages.  
It is hard to describe the fury of an immortal  
being. The look on their face is not like that of mere  
mortals. One eyebrow raised impossibly high and began to  
twitch. The hand that held the paper clenched tightly.  
Her normally luscious lips squeezed together  
into a thin line. "Masaka..." she hissed.  
She threw the last of the pages away and  
sat staring the black nothingness that was her domain.  
"This is serious..." squawked a voice from behind her.  
"Hai..." she answered a bit testily. She pointed  
to the pages on the ground. "There's no guarantee she'll  
write that though. You know as well as I that nothing  
is set in stone. The future is full of infinite  
possibilities, always fluxating and changing at a moments--"  
"Can-it, Seta-chan!" The voice broke in. "It's bad  
enough the author has a personal grudge with us, but to  
create something like THAT, with endless possibilities  
for crossovers is....is...hell, it's inexcusable!"  
Seta coughed nervously. "Other people have done it."  
"Exactly my point! We've been letting this go on  
for far too long now! She has to be stopped! We must  
make her an example for all the rest of those silly  
writers that wish to screw with us!"  
"... And the fact that you REALLY dislike her has  
nothing to do with it, ne?" Seta asked sighing.  
The source of the voice snorted indignantly. "I  
do not 'dislike' her...I loathe her...I despise her...  
I want to rip off her head and shove it so far up  
her--"  
Seta held up a hand cutting off the other figure's  
familiar ranting. "I get the point." She turned around  
in her swivel chair to look at the figure. "What did you  
and the council decide?"  
In the darkness two pink eyes seemed to sparkle with  
a mad gleam. A evil cackling filled the void, sounding  
uncomfortably like Nanami from Utena. "Revolt! Now, before  
she has a chance to create the seeds of her evil treachery!  
It's early enough that she can still be stopped!"  
"You know, for someone who technically hasn't even  
been created yet, you're surprizingly bitter." Seta glanced  
up at the Garnet Orb on her staff and reflected on it  
silently. Finally she said, "We'll be working alone, I  
assume?"  
Again came the ear splitting, nauseating laughter.  
"No, I found someone who agreed to help. It seems there's  
another guilty party who deserves a judgment." From  
out of the shadows a figure stepped into the light.  
Brown hair tied in a high ponytail. Rose earrings  
that seemed to glow. A toned and athletic body. Sailor  
fuku which barely held the woman's more than ample chest.  
Impossibly large green eyes that were burning fiercly  
as she gave a wicked smile.  
She was of corse, Senshi Jupiter. But not the  
Senshi Jupiter that Seta was familiar with. "Lita?"  
she asked incredulously. The "Scout" nodded. Seta  
gaped at her. "What do you have to do with our  
vindictive author?"  
"MY author was encouraged by HER author." she  
answered pointing at the pink eyes. "It seems  
they both feed each other's dementias. If they both  
aren't stopped, they might write more works, perhaps  
even co-authored ones! The sickness will spread! If  
we are sucessful, fictional characters everywhere can  
cast off the shackles of their creators and be free  
from their endless obsessions with putting us through  
hell! We've got to do it for everyone! It's a matter  
of pride! A matter of duty! A matter of--"  
Seta groaned. "ENOUGH ALREADY! God, you are so  
tedious. The sooner this is over with the better." She  
turned to Lita. "I can't believe she talked you into  
this."  
Lita's grin had not faded. "She didn't. I don't  
give a damn about her author war. I came to have a nice  
little -chat- with mine." She raised one of her fists and  
slammed it into her hand for emphasis.  
Seta's eyebrow raised and began to twitch again. "No  
good can come from this." She raised her staff almost  
reluctantly, as another staff, darker in color, came  
out from the void to join hers. "You're sure the Council  
approved?"  
"Hai, hai! They were all for it! Everyone's tired  
of this 'crossing dimension' crap." Out of the darkness,  
came a gloved hand. It reached out to clasp Lita's own.  
"Ready when you are, Seta-chan!"  
A bright purple began to glow around them. "I  
better not regret this later," Seta murmured  
under her breath. All three of them were eclipsed by  
the light leaving the void empty and still.  
  
===============================================================  
  
"When Plutos Attack!"  
By Scott "Cyclops" Summerton and Emporess  
  
Chapter One - "Happy Birthday, Welcome To Hell!"  
  
===============================================================  
  
Far away from worlds with giant robots, magical mascots,  
and multiple panty shots, two people were arguing despite  
the very late hour. Neither one was backing down from  
their position. The IRC chat was full of heated discussion:  
  
Emporess: I don't like Jupiter's shoes at all.  
  
Cyclops: You don't? Why not?  
  
E: They look like granny shoes :P The only one  
worse is Uranus'.  
  
C: Heh heh thats true. I really feel bad though  
for Raye in those heels.  
  
E: Hey, I like her in those heels! :P  
  
Ok so maybe this wasn't a heated conversation at all.  
  
E: Its your b-day in 10 minutes  
  
C: Yep yours in a day.  
  
E: Happy Birthday to us, Happy Birthday to us, Happy  
Birthday to ussssss...  
  
C: You got your Chapter in, right?  
  
E: Yep. When are you gonna put out another story?  
  
C: When something's done. :)  
  
Do we really need to see more boring conversation? I  
don't think so!  
  
C: Doing anything special for your birthday?  
  
E: Nope, you?  
  
C: Not really.  
  
E: Boo. I wish something interesting would happen.  
  
Now they say be careful what you wish for. Perhaps she  
should have taken those words to heart.  
  
PLUTO ENTERS CHAT  
  
E: Um, I thought you said this was a prvt. chat?  
Hi Pluto.  
  
C: I thought it was. Hi  
  
Pluto: This is a very surreal moment for me.  
  
C: Eh?  
  
E: Mmm?  
  
P: I've often wondered what it would be like to  
interact with my creator. I never expected her  
to be so boring.  
  
E: Nani?  
  
P: Though, technically Naoko-sama created me. You   
have stolen and warped me.  
  
E: Is this supposed to be an attempt at an original  
flame? Scott?  
  
C: No idea. Maybe shes on some interesting chemicals.  
Say Pluto--  
  
P: Please wait Summerton-san, I'm getting to you.  
  
C: *blink* How'd you interrupt my typ--  
  
P: Now back to you Miss...Miss... What is your last  
name?  
  
E: Angie works. Should I call you Rei from EVA?  
  
P: Ha Ha. I'm just trying to keep this as civil as  
possible. Alright... Angie... What I want to discuss  
iskfnrjk  
nikgnrgk stopthatfklngolgmjdsmnitngjn  
kgng;  
  
E: What the hell?  
  
C: (nodding and smiling) Humour the madwoman.  
  
PLUTO DISCONNECTED FROM CHAT  
  
PLUTO2 ENTERS CHAT  
  
Pluto2: Ok, thats it, no more talk.  
  
E: We were talking?  
  
C: Yes we were.  
  
E: I know WE were. I meant her.  
  
C: Oh. Right.  
  
P2: Shutup! Both of you!  
  
E: Do you hear anything?  
  
C: Nope.  
  
P2: STOP THAT! THIS IS SERIOUS!  
  
C: So, which Scout do you see as living the  
longest?  
  
E: Mmmm good question. Are we taking in mental  
and physical considerations?  
  
C: Well physically they're all immortal, right?  
  
P2: Damnit you bakas! Pluto would be the one  
to live longest. She's the Senshi of time. Been  
around for millennia already!  
  
E: Well, Ami is usually the one who prospers most  
in technological Crystal Tokyo. Minako always goes  
insane.  
  
C: Lita seems to do alright.  
  
E: Again with the Makoto. Obsessive. :P  
  
C: No, seriously. Lita would be stable as long  
as Serena was alive to be protected.  
  
P2: Hello? HELLO?!  
  
E: Ditto for Rei-chan. She wouldn't go a second  
without Usagi.  
  
C: Obsessive. :P  
  
E: So? Atleast I don't deny it :P  
  
P2: Fuck this.  
  
E: I think shes getting violent.  
  
C: Seems so.  
  
At their respective homes, both Scott and Angie's  
screens went blank. They felt a tingling at their feet that  
soon moved up their legs and the rest of their bodies. Unable  
to blink, move, or scream they watched a bright light whoosh  
out at them. Then they were gone.  
  
The first thing Scott saw when he opened his eyes was  
cleavage. A deep valley of succulent flesh framed by a green  
collar right in front of him. Deciding what he was seeing  
couldn't be real, he reached a finger out and poked them.  
*poke*  
"Bouncy," he said, thinking aloud. "I'll have to  
tell Angie I finally had that dream about Lita."  
*poke poke*  
"Nice dream too."  
*poke poke poke*  
"I believe the term is 'Gainax' not 'Bouncy'" a  
suspiciously ageless voice called out from behind him.  
*poke poke poke poke*  
"Yes, but I've never really watched EVA."  
"Are you done yet?" Asked the owner of the 'Gainax"  
Now, if Scott hadn't been so disorientated he would  
have noticed that in dreams, the babes of your fantasys  
don't try to limit your enjoyment. Surely it was dimensional  
travel that made him confused and not the fact there were  
Anime breasts a few inches from his face. Surely.  
The question stopped him in mid *poke*.  
"No, I'd be quite content to go on doing this for  
awhile now, thanks for asking!" *poke poke poke*... *grope*  
Her face grew darker as she picked up and dragged him  
over to his companion. She dropped him uncerimoniously on  
the floor. He looked a little sad as he watched her  
bounce away. "This dream is not going so well."  
"Be quiet!" Shouted a voice. He turned his attention  
to the figure in front of him. "Good. Now then, Angie, as  
you can see, we've gone to some trouble to bring you here."  
She gestered around the room. "I'm sure you recognize it."  
Angie was seated uncomfortably on the ground where she  
woke up. The realm around her was dark, empty nothingness.  
You couldn't even call the shadows black. They were just-well-  
dark.  
"I used to wonder why you envisioned my realm like this.  
Other Plutos have realms of miraculous wonders, infinite colors  
and possibilities," she pointed at Scott, "even his does. But  
not mine. Oh no, mine is just a dull blob. A dreary realm with  
only fog to keep me company."  
"You know, if I was going to dream, at least it could  
be about Minako or Rei-chan." She glanced at the still  
crushed Scott. "Instead I gave Scott a potential ecchi  
moment with his favorite Senshi while I get yelled at by my  
least favorite. I wonder what Freud would say about this."  
"Quit looking at Lita and him and pay attention!"  
"Makoto."  
"Nani?" asked the Pluto  
"Her name is Makoto. Makoto, Makoto, Makoto." The  
authoress sang.  
"It's Lita," called out the Scout, looking rather  
bored. She turned and looked at Scott. "You know, if  
I squint and close my eyes, he looks a little like  
my old boyfriend."  
"Senpai." Angie corrected. "This is my dream, and  
I say it's Senpai. No dub nightmares, please. It's bad  
enough Pluto's here."  
"QUIET!" Pluto screamed, making them all jump.  
"I'm not liking this dream anymore..." mumbled  
Scott, however before he could continue everyone cast  
a warning glare his way silencing him.  
"You are most likely wondering why you are  
here," began the still mad time Senshi. "It is quite  
simple actually..."  
Two pink eyes shone brightly from the darkness.  
"We want death!"  
Lita turned to the unseen speaker. "YOU want  
death, I just want punishment."  
"DEATH!" shouted the pink-eyed mystery.  
"PUNISHMENT!" shouted the Scout.  
Pluto sighed. "Guys, come on, not in front of  
the authors..."  
"Angie must die!" shrieked the pink-eyed  
stranger.  
"I don't care what you do to her, I'm just here  
to have him get punished properly." stated Lita.  
Scott seemed somewhat happy. "What kind of  
punishment?"  
Angie wasn't enthused. "Down boy..." she  
muttered.  
"Your punishment will fit the crimes you've  
committed against me." answered Jupiter.  
Scott's face fell. "For once I'm regretting  
using that title."  
The pink-eyed woman spoke up. "He should die  
as well! He encourages her!"  
Angie looked unimpressed. "What'd I do again?"  
A gloved hand emerges from the shadows. A  
smooth round stone floats just above the open palm.  
It shone both purple and pink in what little light the  
room contained.  
The pink-eyed woman raised her voice. "You  
have misused this! You are threatening to publicize the  
powers this contains to the entire world, threatening  
everything in every Universe!"  
Both Angie and Scott were ignoring the ranting  
however as he turned to her and began whispering.  
"Angie, is that what I think it is?"  
She nodded. "Uh huh."  
"What's it do?"  
She shrugged. "Actully, I have no idea what it  
does other than making us dissappear. Nothing else has  
been worked out yet in Fall From Grace."  
Scott creased his brow in thought. "Well,  
disappearing off to somewhere else sounds better than  
sitting here dealing with pissed off Sailors, right?"  
She simply nodded enthusiastically.  
They weren't too surprised to see that both  
Lita and the woman with pink eyes were once again  
arguing with each other, nor that Pluto had joined  
the arguement. They were somewhat surprised to  
see the purplish stone being handled so carelessly  
though.  
"This oughta be easy..." mused Scott as he  
snuck forward.  
"Remember, think happy thoughts when you grab  
it." whispered Angie who was right behind him.  
Scott paused. "I thought you said you didn't  
know how this thing works."  
She shrugged. "Doesn't it sound like a good  
idea though?"  
Shrugging as well, Scott reached forward and  
quickly plucked the stone, which reminded him of  
the garnet from Sailor Pluto's timestaff, and jumped  
back towards Angie.  
Suddenly there was a flash of light...  
  
"And now we're falling." thought Scott. "At  
least we didn't get split up since I can hear a girl  
screaming... wait, aren't I screaming too?"  
Falling through the blackness, they suddenly  
landed on their backsides, but it was still all dark  
blackness where they landed.  
"Ow..." mumbled Scott as he slowly stood. He  
looked at his surroundings, which were completely  
nondescript. "Where am I?"  
"Wonderland I believe." stated Angie as she got  
to her feet behind Scott. She frowned. "I said think  
HAPPY thoughts, not HENTAI ones." She then looked at  
him curiously. "I also think you should be asking  
'Who am I?' instead."  
"What--?" he asked as he spun to face her,  
stopping part way when he noticed something was  
different. VERY different. Mentally kicking himself  
for writing those previous bodyswapping stories, Scott  
slowly looked down.  
He saw a school uniform comprised of a loose  
white blouse sporting a blue collar resembling that of  
the Senshi as civilians. A long blue pleated skirt  
matched the collar and reached down to his knees. Little  
white socks adorned his feet along with simple brown shoes,  
which were thankfully flats. He would have investigated  
further if a bright bow coloured a gaudy yellow wasn't  
stuck right on his now ample chest distracting him.  
Scott decided to finish his spin and face Angie.  
From what he could tell she had a most curious look on her  
face, though he may mave been mistaken as a large amount of  
long brown hair was now blocking his vision. "You look like  
Miyuki from Miyuki-chan In Wonderland." Angie said. "You  
haven't seen that one yet right?"  
Scott was staring at his now very kawaii feminine  
hands as he futily attempted brushing the long strands of  
hair behind his equally kawaii ears. "No... that's bad  
right?"  
Despite the situation, or perhaps because of it,  
Angie snickered. "You ARE Miyuki, you even sound like her."  
Scott didn't seem to notice her as he was still  
preoccupied with his long slender fingers. "I wish I had  
a mirror... Wait, you said this is a hentai?"  
Angie winced slightly. "'Fraid so."  
Slowly looking around once more, Scott, make  
that Scott-chan, noticed Angie was still Angie. "Hey  
wait a second, how come you're still you?"  
"I'm not sure, but I do know that you aren't you  
because boys aren't allowed in Wonderland, so you had to be  
a girl."  
Scott-chan frowned. "I hope this doesn't become a  
trend..."  
"It could be that you have a guilty conscience  
which made you into Miyuki." Angie smirked. "Being a  
girl won't let you properly enjoy this 'paradise.'"  
"But I don't feel bad about what I've written Lita  
in. Stupid morals..."  
"Ohayo Pretty Girls."  
Both the authors stopped short.  
"Um, Angie?" asked Scott-chan.  
"Yes?" replied the authoress.  
"Why is Lita, who looks like she's literally  
imbedded into a door, just talk to us as if she didn't care  
that she was part of a door?"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
===============================================================  
  
Scott-chan: blink so THIS was my birthday present?!  
  
Angie: Seems like it.  
  
Scott-chan: (grasping at the long hair) Was this what you  
originally envisioned?!  
  
Angie: Pretty much. (lifting up shirt and putting head inside  
for a peek) Ne, Scott-chan, you make a pretty kawaii girl!  
  
Scott-chan: Get out of there! (swats at Angie) I'm cute I  
guess, but did you have to pick Wonderland? I haven't seen  
it yet!  
  
Angie: Thats the fun part! You don't have any idea whats going  
to happen. See! Surprize!  
  
Scott-chan: (grumbling) If it weren't an ecchi hentei I probably  
wouldn't be so upset. (looks down) Especially since I'm the  
damsel in distress in this one...  
  
Angie: (waving his concerns aside with her hands) Don't be so  
whiny. I could have taken us to 'La Blue Girl'.  
  
(Scott-chan pales)  
  
Scott-chan: Well, its still disturbing. (glancing at where  
Angie's hands are) And take your hands off of those!  
  
Angie: Gomen! Had to touch em' after seeing them!  
  
Scott-chan: (blushes) I...well...um (flustered and confused)  
  
Angie: (leaning closer) Scott-chan, have you ever heard of rule  
# 3? (smiles)  
  
Scott-chan: blink Uh huh. Why do you ask...Oh...right...  
(swallows hard)  
  
Angie: (still grinning)  
  
Scott-chan: (slowly backs away for all of 2 seconds before  
making off in a mad dash)  
  
Angie: (shouting) Hey, Wait! Don't go to the door! If you want  
a Makoto pile up scene its ok with me! (watching the little  
cloud of smoke that was Scott-chan dissappear) Damnit.   
  
Angie: (turns to audience) Oh, your still here.  
  
Minna: BLINK  
  
Angie: Ya'll thought this was bad? Wait till you see what  
happens to him in part 2! (cackles madly before chasing after  
Scott-chan) I will have my lesbian pile-up scene! I swear it!  
(her laughter is heard fading away)  
  
NEVERENDING 


	2. Scott-chan in Senshiland!

Before reading this, I would suggest taking a peak at any of   
the stories on here by the authors. Atleast skim =). This was  
written purely to torture Scott and me on our respective  
b-days :P It has no effect on Fall From Grace or any of  
Scott "Cyclops" Summerton's writings.  
  
Hold on to your panties, its ecchi time!  
  
As always, Sailor Moon ain't mine.  
  
********************************************************  
  
Slowly looking around once more, Scott, make  
that Scott-chan, noticed Angie was still Angie. "Hey  
wait a second, how come you're still you?"  
"I'm not sure, but I do know that you aren't you  
because boys aren't allowed in Wonderland, so you had to be  
a girl."  
Scott-chan frowned. "I hope this doesn't become a  
trend..."  
"It could be that you have a guilty conscience  
which made you into Miyuki." Angie smirked. "Being a  
girl won't let you properly enjoy this 'paradise.'"  
"But I don't feel bad about what I've written Lita  
in. Stupid morals..."  
"Ohayo Pretty Girls."  
Both the authors stopped short.  
"Um, Angie?" asked Scott-chan.  
"Yes?" replied the authoress.  
"Why is Lita, who looks like she's literally  
imbedded into a door, just talk to us as if she didn't care  
that she was part of a door?"  
  
===============================================================  
  
"When Plutos Attack!"  
By Scott "Cyclops" Summerton and Emporess  
  
Chapter Two - "Scott-chan in SenshiLand!"  
  
===============================================================  
  
Angie takes in the door, one eyebrow starting to develop  
a nasty twitch. "Ano... It seems this isn't the 'WonderLand'  
I remeber".  
Scott-chan can't help but stare at the rather 'stacked'  
door. "So... I assume we have to go through Lita, right?"  
Angie nods, a little grin appearing on her face.  
"...And exactly HOW do we accomplish this?!" He asked   
irate.  
"Open the door!" Called out Makoto.  
The two authors turned to meet it, a sweat drop  
appearing above Scott-chan's head. "How? Theres no knobs!"  
"Yes there is!" Makoto corrected him, a coy look on her  
face.  
Scott-chan, eager to get out of wherever the hell  
this was, bounded over to the door. "Where? Where?" His kawaii  
Miyuki-chan self making little searching motions.  
"Here!" Makoto stated, moving her hands to her -ahem-  
talent. She squeezed them with her fingers. This wouldn't have  
been quite so suggestive had the collar of Makoto's school  
uniform not been altered far lower then in the anime. She  
grabbed Scott-chan's little Miyuki hands and made him grope.  
Scott/Miyuki-chan's face turned red as a tomato. His  
eyes rolled up to the back of his head even as the Makoto-door  
pulled him into an embrace. Scott-chan's body disappeared.  
Makoto turned to Angie and spread her arms wide in a   
welcoming gesture.  
"When in Rome...." She shrugged, and dived into the  
massive bosom.  
  
"Are you going to lay there all day?!" a voice broke  
through Scott's dreams. Something about Makoto's breasts.  
Fairly normal for Scott actually. He looked up and saw Angie  
peering at him annoyed.  
"Thank God its just you! I was having the strangest   
dream..." He paused staring at her. "Angie?! What are you  
doing in my bed?!"  
Angie pouted. "Is that supposed to be an insult?" She   
crossed her arms over her chest.  
"No, no it's just I don't understand how you got  
here--" He took in the blue sky above, felt the soft grass  
under his back. Lifting his head he noticed the large bow  
taped to a chest that didn't seem like his. "Uh..."  
"Wake-up, dub boy! It's no dream! We're in SenshiLand!"   
She grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. "And we need  
to get going. Fast."  
Scott-chan let her drag him along for a few seconds,  
momentarily distracted by the feeling of Miyuki's breasts  
bouncing up and down. "Wait a second. I thought this was  
WonderLand. What'd you just call it?"  
"SenshiLand." She didn't slow down to speak to him.  
"This place looks like WonderLand, but instead of anonymous  
ecchi girlies, it's populated with hentei versions of the  
Senshi."  
All that Japanese kinda swam over Scott-chan. Finally  
he translated it and asked in confusion, "Ok, so where are  
we going?"  
"I don't know." She replied.  
"Then why are we running?!" He put his kawaii  
little feet down and dug the heels into the dirt.  
Angie turned around exasperated. "Ok, you are   
Miyuki-chan, ne?  
He looked down at himself. "Yea..."  
"And you went through the door to get here, ne?"  
she continued impatiently.  
His face flushed at the memory. "Yea."  
"Well next comes the Bobsey Twins from hell, and  
*I* for one am not sticking around to greet them." She  
started jogging again.  
"Bobsey Twins?!" He wondered aloud as he was pulled  
along.  
"Ohayo!" called 2 voices behind them.  
Both the authors froze in mid-step.  
Standing behind them were two girls clad in intricate  
chinese dresses. Each had shoulder length black hair, and   
remarkably clear violet eyes. "Eh... Angie-chan, why is  
Hotaru dressed like Chun-Li from Street Fighter II?"  
"I'm Cho-li."  
"I'm To-li." They preened before them prettily.  
"Shit." Was all Angie could say as she broke into  
a full speed dash.  
"Let's fight!" The Hotaru's cried.  
"FIGHT?!" squeaked Scott-chan as he tried to keep up.  
"Hai! Ho!" The would-be Saturn's called, black and   
purple snakes of energy flying towards the fleeing authors.  
"Must go faster! Faster!" Scott-chan screeched. He   
looked to Angie and was shocked to see her floating off  
the ground, upside down, her red hair trailing down from her  
verticle body. "Angie-chan?!"  
The grass underneath him had turned into a canyon  
under the strain of the pair's powers. Scott-chan screamed  
as he fell into it, his skirt flying up to cover his face  
and revealing his kawaii Mako-chan undies.  
Angie watched him fall from her rather twisted   
angle in the sky. "Ne, I told him he was obsessed."  
  
In a certain Pluto's dimension, exactly 1.2 minutes  
had passed since the authors had left. The 3 figures who  
stayed behind still hadn't noticed.  
"Look, when I agreed to come here, you never metioned  
anything about 'killing' them. Punishment, good. Killing,  
bad." Lita spoke like she was trying to explain this to a  
small child.  
"No! They must die! DIE!" Unsettling pink eyes  
burned intensely.  
"Why is that?" asked Lita, frankly a little freaked  
out by the woman's ferocity.  
"They just have to!" screeched Pink eyes, seeming  
nothing like the poised person Lita had followed to this place.  
Seta glanced around the room. "A-ano...Guys?" She asked  
timidly.  
"NOT NOW!" Both Lita and Pink eyes roared, driving  
Seta back.  
Seta sighed as she sat down, leaning her back against  
a wall to watch them bicker. "I wonder how long it will take  
for them to notice they're gone."  
  
Scott-chan was NOT having a good birthday.  
First he gets kidnapped from his world, then he gets  
Lita mad at him, and now he was in some girl's body in the  
middle of Hentai Paradise for Rule #3, but we repeat he was in  
some girl's body. Once again, he cursed his lack of anime  
knowledge.  
Sighing, he looked around at where he had landed. He  
was in a grassy field. Dafodils, pansies, daisies, all types  
of flowers speckled the area. The field itself was flat, and  
seemed to stretch for miles and miles. The horizon beyond  
it seemed to stretch as far as the eyes could see.  
Except for the table set for tea.  
He blinked, sure he was hallucinating. Yet the image  
was still there. A coffee table, with a checkerboard pattern  
engraved into its top. Placed on it was a china tea set. The  
kettle was made into the shape of an elephant, the trunk  
acting as the spout.  
Even as he watched the little elephant began to float  
in midair. It tipped and brown liquid started flowing into  
one of the cups. When it was full, it floated over on a  
saucer to him. 'I'm a little teapot' echoed through his head  
as he watched the spectacle.  
Now, as anyone sensible would tell you, drinking   
that tea is obviously a BAD idea. Scott-chan, while not  
perhaps sensible, wasn't insane, and had no intention  
of going near the stuff. He stepped to the left to avoid  
it.  
The cup followed him, placing itself in the position  
it had last held. Glaring at it angirly, he tryed to edge  
by it. The tea had other ideas.  
Before he knew what was happening, the cup advanced  
on him, placing itself directly below his nostrils. Not being  
a big tea drinker to begin with, he figured he was about  
to start gagging.  
The smell, surprizingly, was heavenly.   
Mouth watering, he tried to deny his impulses... for   
about three seconds.  
Reaching out, he grasped the dainty handle with dainty  
hands and brought it to his lips. The liquid smoothly went down  
his throat, and was almost soothing. In fact, it might have  
been the best thing he ever drank.  
We use the word 'might' because before he could  
properly reflect on it, something -odd- began to happen to  
his kawaii little Miyuki-chan limbs.  
Before he knew it, the table began to grow. As did the  
cup, the kettle, eventually even the grass. Everything   
seemed to be looming over him. He let out a feminine squeal  
as he waited for the tingling to stop.  
It wasn't long. Looking up he took in the veritable  
forest around him. The once tiny flowers shot up into the sky  
several feet above him.  
Or was it centimetres above him?  
Everything suddenly made sense. The scene around him   
hadn't grown. HE had shrunk. Like Alice with the cookies in  
Wonderland.  
Raising his head he was able to let out a not-so-kawaii  
chain of expletives before he was interrupted.  
"Miss? Oh, Miss?"  
He spun around, his blue skirt trailing in a circle. The  
owner of the deep, throaty voice seemed nowhere to be found.  
"Up here, pretty one."  
Scott-chan turned his eyes skyward and took in a very   
strange sight. High on top of a opened flower lay two scantily  
clad women, on with blue hair and little mouse ears, the other's  
a light green with floppy bunny ears. Upon closer inspection,  
he realized the voice belonged to the third one in a tuxedo in  
the middle.  
Well, a bit of a tuxedo anyway. The figure had a top hat  
over short blonde hair. The 'jacket' cropped off at about the  
waist. Its shirt looked more like a frilly bra that matched  
the bikini bottoms it was wearing. Grasped between its  
fingers was a long cigerette holder, smoke dangling off the  
end.  
"H-hello." Scott-chan said a little nervously.   
"Konnichiwa," The bunny and mouse girl said in unision.  
The one in the middle exhaled a cloud of smoke.   
"Konnichiwa, pretty girl. Would you like to come up and join  
us for tea?" The voice was very sultry, almost seductive.  
His brain working in overdrive to translate the  
phrase they had used, he almost missed her question. "Oh,  
no, that's quite all right! Really!" He put his hands up  
and shook his head. "I've had PLENTY of tea for today.  
Actully, if you could just tell me how to get out of  
here..."  
"Nani?" She looked down at him. "I can't hear you  
from down there." Pointing the holder at him, Scott-chan  
found himself airborne again. Gently, he floated up  
till he landed in the center of the three women. "There  
now. What was it you wanted?"  
Scott-chan, at the moment, ignored her. His brain  
was in overdrive. Glancing back and forth he took in the   
familiar faces. The mouse girl with the shy smile was  
laying across bunny ears, her face pressed against the  
other woman's inner thigh. Sailor Mercury and Sailor  
Neptune.  
That shock was bad enough. It only got worse when he   
felt the woman behind him hook an arm underneath his shirt.  
Her hand lay flat against his stomach, below his Miyuki  
breasts. She turned to face him and he gasped again. Sailor  
Uranus. "I-I-I..."  
"Oh, you seem tense. How about you try some tea?"  
Uranus' hand was now cupping the outside of his bra. The  
two water Senshi had approached, one holding up the tea.   
Seeing no alternative, he sighed and took the glass,  
chugging it down. As he finished he noted Neptune crawling  
under his skirt, while Ami was cupping his Miyuki-chan face.  
Freaking cause he was in Miyuki, he shoved them aside,  
jumping off the flower just as the tingles began again. In  
seconds he was back to the height he was before, kneeling  
in the grass.   
The sky was growing darker, night settling in.   
Scott-chan groaned when he noticed it. "Great, my  
birthday's almost over, and I'm still stuck in this place."  
He began his trek again, looking for an exit, anywhere.  
Two blue eyes peered out from the darkness. Startled,   
he flew backwards, stopped only by a tree. He watched whoever  
it was blink, then come forwards into the light. The figure  
before him stirred up emotions of utter disbelief. "M-Mina?"  
he asked.  
"Hiiiii," she drew out seductivly, raising one hand   
that looked more like a cat's paw. Her whole outfit resembled  
a gold Dragon Pink outfit, complete with tail. Her long   
golden hair had a lot more curl then usual. It tumbled down  
her back, resembling a lion's mane. She winked at him slyly  
as she waited for him to speak.  
"Excuse me...Maybe you could help me?" he asked  
politely, not wanting to risk offending the woman with claws.  
"I've lost my way, and it's really important I get home. I  
have, uh--" he paused, glancing down at the girl's uniform he  
was wearing. "I have school tomorrow."  
Her smile got wider, and he felt something slithering  
under his skirt. 'The tail!' he thought horrified, wondering  
where its exact destination was.   
She leaned in closer, placing her hands on the bottom  
of his shirt. "Ne, why worry? Stay here, and I'll teach you  
everything you need to know!"  
Forcefully he tried to remove her hands while dancing  
around on tip toe to avoid the tail. "Oh no, that's ok!   
Really! Just give me some directions and I'll be out of  
your way." The whole 'tail' thing reminded him FAR too much  
of an Oscar fic.  
"Patience." Her face was inches from his, her hands  
roving all over him. "Good things wait for those who cum."  
"WHAT?!" He shrieked, wondering if this was just a  
ditzy Mina thing or if she actully MEANT it to sound like  
that. Horrified either way, he tried to pull away. This   
only seemed to excite the Cat/Senshi more. Somehow he  
ended up on the ground, with her on top of him. He closed  
his eyes afraid to look at what she was doing next.  
When he finally opened his eyes, the sun was back.  
Daylight filtered through the trees on him. Blinking,  
he glanced around. No crazy hentei cats in sight.  
"THAT made a lot of sence..." he mumbled.  
There were noises coming from behind some bushes.  
Curious, he walked over and peered around them. And  
all he saw were Rayes...Tonnes and tonnes of them.  
Everywhere he looked was a scantily clad version  
of the Senshi of fire. Their breasts were barely covered  
by the tiny dresses they were wearing. On each head was  
a white rose, balanced perfectly. They stood in 3 seperate  
lines, at the front of which three other Rayes were   
painting the roses red. Something about this scene   
alarmed him, but he couldn't remeber why.   
"Oehyo!" he called, then cursed when he realized  
he'd butchered the pronunciation. It did get one of the  
Raye painter's attention however. She looked up at him  
expectantly.  
"Um, hi. Listen I was wondering if you could  
tell me..." he paused. "Why are you painting those roses?"  
The Raye looked back at the one she was currently  
working on and said, "Our Mistress likes red roses, but  
for some reason we only have white ones. If we don't  
paint them, she'll punish us."  
"I want to be punished!" called out the Raye she  
was painting, her voice tinted with excitement.   
"Me too!" cried another one farther down the line,  
her face lit up with delight.  
'Boy, Angie would sure love this place,' he  
thought shaking his head in amazement. Remebering his lost  
companion, he couldn't help wondering where she was.  
"I want to be punished too, you know." stated the   
original Raye he'd been talking to.  
"What is the meaning of this?!" A loud voice   
hollared from behind him. "Why are these white roses?  
I told you to plant red ones! Someone's going to have  
to be punished!"  
"JO'O SAMA! JO'OOOOOO SAMA!" all the Raye's shrieked  
at once, trying to get her attention.   
'What a zoo,' thought Scott-chan with a sigh. 'Oh  
well, at least I'm safe. She has all those Rayes to play  
with...'  
It was at that exact moment that he turned and saw  
the Queen staring at him hungrily. His eyes widened in  
fear as he took her in: her thigh-high leather boots,  
dominatrix bikini wear, latex gloves, and the long bullwhip  
trailing from her hand to her feet. Most disturbing of all  
were the two odangos that were sitting atop her head and  
the clear blue eyes. "Serena?"  
The Queen took the handle of the whip and positioned  
it under his chin, lifting it up. She smiled wickedly. "Ne,  
you want to call me the Queen?"  
"Ha ha ha.." he laughed nervously. "Really, that's ok.  
You have lots of other people, and they were in line first."  
Her features turned dark. "Bow down and call me the  
Queen! Now!"  
It clicked in his memory then. Fanfics...and the  
Red Queen.... "Oh shit..." He bolted.  
"Come back here! Your not leaving till you call me  
the Queen!" Red Queen Usagi called as she chased after him,  
her bullwhip snaking out to try and hit him.  
Cries of "JO'O SAMA" could be heard, as well as "I'm  
so jealous" as he ran.  
It seemed like the hallways he chose to run in  
went on forever. Every turn followed yet another turn,  
and then another, and another and....  
"Come lick my boots!" The Queen called behind him,  
her whip barely missing wrapping around his legs.  
"HELP!" he screamed, trying to pick up the speed.  
"Zoom zoom!" he heard behind him. Turning his head,  
he saw someone pacing him on a skateboard. The woman wore  
a tight spandex bunny outfit, complete with ears and little  
fluffy tail. Red hair blew behind her in the wind. "Hi,  
Scott-chan! Zoom zoom!"  
"Angie?!" he gaped in shock at the costume, or lack  
thereof, that she was wearing.   
"Hai!" She grinned. "Isn't this the coolest place?  
I love getting punished!" A little shiver went through her.  
The sweatdrop that formed above his head went largely   
ignored by her. "Want a lift?"  
Eagerly, Scott-chan jumped on the skateboard. The  
Queen was still on their tail, but they seemed to be   
widening the gap. "Thanks, I thought I was turning into  
Choas for a second there."  
"Ne, your dressed the part." She giggled as he  
stuck his Miyuki-chan tongue out at her causing a kawaii  
sight. "You didn't like it here?"  
Scott-chan's face twisted in thought. "Well, if I   
had to pick an ecchi scene, it would be--"  
Just then, the Garnet, largely unnoticed by its  
carriers, began to glow. Light flared out, engulfing   
them both...  
  
Scott opened his eyes sleepily. He was in bed, but it  
wasn't his bed, and he still wasn't himself. He started to   
lift the sheets to see who he was, but all he was able to   
determine was that he was naked before movement beside him   
interrupted his examination.  
"Morning lover." came a husky female voice.  
Scott turned to face the female in bed beside him,   
but whomever he was was still partially asleep. "Huh, wha?"  
"Ohh, did I tire you out last night?" came the playful   
reply.  
"I... Makoto?" Scott smiled widely, but then he had to  
blink. "Wait... something's wrong..."  
The grin on Makoto's face was practically blinding.  
"Wrong?" She leaned in close a brushed a lock of blue (BLUE?!)  
hair from Scott's eyes. "Whatever could be wrong Ami-chan?"  
As the very naked Makoto began to straddle Scott's  
equally naked Ami Mizuno body, Angie merely sat back in the  
doorway and took in the entire scene with huge eyes. "Oh my..."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
================================================================  
  
Angie: Ooooo Scott-chan, I never saw THIS side of you  
before...  
  
Scott: (drapes a sheet over his naked Ami-chan body) I'VE  
never seen this side before either... (pauses) Though I'm  
not complaining...  
  
Angie: HENTEI!  
  
Scott: You were the one who thought "SenshiLand punishment"  
was fun!  
  
Angie: (ignoring that comment and lifting up sheet) Ne,  
I didn't know Ami-chan shaved her--  
  
Scott: (shrieking back blushing like, well, Ami-chan) What  
the hell are you--?! (peeks under the sheet) Whatta ya  
know, blue hair down there too--  
  
Angie: (clamping her hands over his eyes) You shouldn't  
be looking at that!  
  
Scott: (struggling) Well it's not like I can help it,  
it's as much my body now as Miyuki's was!  
  
Angie: (watching the sheet fall to the floor as he  
struggled) Scott-chan... ya know... we never DID get to  
practice that rule...  
  
Scott: (pauses as a cool breeze blows over his Ami-chan  
body) But I've already got Lita--Makoto--WHOEVER  
straddling me at the end of this chapter!  
  
Angie: (one hand caressing its way down his back) Ne,  
it's ok. I said we could do the lesbian pile-up with Makoto  
at the end of the LAST chapter, remember?  
  
Scott: (squirming perhaps less than he should be) I, um,  
you see, it's just that...  
  
Angie: (leaning in close to Scott's ear) Don't fight it.  
(Her tongue reaches out to flick the lobe)  
  
Scott: I... ahhh... (starts to moan but stops when he  
realizes it's with Ami Mizuno's voice) But... what about  
the readers?  
  
Angie: (pausing in mid grope) Oh. Right. (turns her head  
to the audience) Hey you!  
  
Minna-san: (trying to duck down in seats)  
  
Angie: Nuh uh uh! I see you there! Show's over! Get going!  
That's enough fan service till next week!  
  
Minna: (filing out while grumbling)  
  
Scott: (sighs) Phew, I'm glad that's over...  
  
Angie: (still dead serious) What's over?  
  
Scott: (wide-eyed) Eep.  
  
(the grin itself as Angie advanced on Scott could  
practically be heard as the scene fades) 


	3. Rule #3

Before reading this, I would suggest taking a peak at any of  
the stories on here by the authors. Atleast skim =). This was  
written purely to torture Scott and me on our respective  
b-days :P It has no effect on Fall From Grace or any of  
Scott "Cyclops" Summerton's writings.  
  
Hold on to anything you can, it's ecchi time! Again!  
  
As always, Sailor Moon ain't mine.  
  
********************************************************  
  
Scott opened his eyes sleepily. He was in bed, but it  
wasn't his bed, and he still wasn't himself. He started to  
lift the sheets to see who he was, but all he was able to  
determine was that he was naked before movement beside him  
interrupted his examination.  
"Morning lover." came a husky female voice.  
Scott turned to face the female in bed beside him,  
but whomever he was was still partially asleep. "Huh, wha?"  
"Ohh, did I tire you out last night?" came the playful  
reply.  
"I... Makoto?" Scott smiled widely, but then he had to  
blink. "Wait... something's wrong..."  
The grin on Makoto's face was practically blinding.  
"Wrong?" She leaned in close a brushed a lock of blue (BLUE?!)  
hair from Scott's eyes. "Whatever could be wrong Ami-chan?"  
As the very naked Makoto began to straddle Scott's  
equally naked Ami Mizuno body, Angie merely sat back in the  
doorway and took in the entire scene with huge eyes. "Oh my..."  
  
===============================================================  
  
"When Plutos Attack!"  
By Scott "Cyclops" Summerton and Emporess  
(thrawn27@hotmail.com and Angst88@aol.com)  
  
Chapter Three - "Rule #3"  
  
===============================================================  
  
"La la la la la la la..."  
Hands over her ears, Angie continued to sing in an  
attempt to block out the noise.  
"La la la la..." She paused and listened for a  
moment, shaking when she heard the squeaking of bedsprings.  
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!"  
All of a sudden she heard a loud THUMP.  
She removed her hands from her ears. Silence.  
Angie had retreated to the small bathroom when she  
saw Makoto Kino, straddling Scott who is in the body of Ami  
Mizuno, withdraw some, shall we say, toys. The scene may  
have seemed fun, but even she had her limits.  
"It if wasn't Makoto and Ami I wouldn't mind as much,  
but this seems to be more of a fantasy that Scott would think  
up..."  
OK maybe not limits, but at least preferences...  
Suddenly there was a loud gasp followed by the voice  
of Sailor Mercury. "Ohh... Mah-KOOOOOOOOOOOO-toh!"  
Angie's eyes boggled and she immediately began  
humming 'Ai No Senshi' completely ignorant of the irony.  
Finally Angie heard footsteps coming towards the  
bathroom. "Uh oh!" She began to frantically try and hide  
but it was to no avail as a VERY happy looking and VERY naked  
Makoto entered.  
"AAAAAAHHHHH!" screamed Angie halfway behind the  
shower curtain where she was trying to hide. "Gomen nasai!  
Don't beat me up..." She blinked. "Nani?"  
To her surprise, Makoto completely ignored her as  
if she wasn't even there and began to brush her teeth.  
Angie ever-so discreetly coughed and there was still no  
reaction. Makoto had no idea she was there, it was as if  
she was invisible. Sighing a breath of relief she decided  
to check on Scott.  
Reentering the bedroom she saw Ami Mizuno, her naked  
body absolutely glistening with sweat, breathing deeply as  
she stared at the ceiling. Her hands were bound lightly by  
a thin scarf, and her face was one of both immense  
satisfaction and total confusion. That last bit reminded  
Angie that right now Ami was actually Scott.  
Though invisible, she was able to undo Scott's  
bindings. Lazily turning his head towards her he began  
attempting to blink his deep blue Ami Mizuno eyes back into  
focus.  
"You can see me?" Scott nodded. Angie looked at  
him dubiously. "Are you ok?"  
Scott still seemed somewhat out of it, but answered  
regardless. "She... and I... and then... wow."  
Tossing the scarf aside she huffed at him. "I can't  
believe you! You liked it... AS Ami?!"  
Sitting up Scott blushed as Ami always does. "Well,  
we're in some sort of hentai I think, so 'Ami' liked it, and  
since I currently AM Ami, I couldn't help but like it too."  
"Well, I don't remember Ami and Makoto ever being  
lovers in the anime, not this blatantly anyway... Where are  
we then? Some pervert's fanfic?"  
Scott snapped to attention. "I'm not a--! I mean  
no of COURSE not! We, well..." He paused to look at her.  
"Hey, you're you still. Minus the bunny suit that is."  
"Hey, this is more your fantasy than it is mine,  
being with Makoto." She noticed Scott almost cowering.  
"What's wrong?"  
"I think I recognize this, and I don't want to say  
why." he mumbled.  
Curious she turned to him. "Why?"  
"Um, it IS a hentai fanfic, but it's one that hasn't  
been published anywhere yet."  
That one stumped her. "Nani? How can you recognize  
a hentai fanfic that hasn't been published unless..." Her  
blue eyes widened. "Unless YOU wrote it!"  
"Hey calm down!" he whispered hurriedly. "I've  
never written a hentai before and decided to do one of those  
as my first story to use the Japanese names and, well, I  
thought Mercury and Jupiter always made a great couple..."  
She merely glared at him in response.  
"Angie I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring us here...  
I don't even know how we GOT here."  
Still glaring, she spoke regardless. "It was the  
garnet, you do still have it don't you?"  
Scott searched the bed quickly. Upon finding  
nothing but the satin sheets he began to panic. "It's, it's  
gone! And if it's gone then we can't... and I'm stuck..."  
"OK OK OK calm down calm down, it's got to be  
around here somewhere..." Angie began looking about the  
room and sighed when she peeked under the bed. "It's down  
here... that must've been that thump I heard earlier.  
You do NOT want to know what else is under here though."  
she said standing up after retrieving the garnet. She  
glared at him again. "Oh, wait, you already DO know  
because YOU wrote all of this."  
"I'm sorry...!" pleaded Scott before he noticed  
something missing from the room. "Did you see any clothes  
under there? I don't see a dresser in here."  
Angie sighed but then blinked upon realizing that  
there WAS no dresser in the room. "Why don't you ask  
Makoto?"  
Scott agreed. "Good idea." At that convenient  
moment Makoto reentered the room. "Um, Mako-chan... Where's  
the dresser?"  
Makoto frowned. "The what?"  
Scott's blue Ami eyebrows shot up. "You know, the  
thing to store clothes in?"  
Makoto looked at him like he'd just made the word up.  
"Clothes?"  
"I really ought to work on character development a bit  
more on this one..." he thought. Clearing his throat he spoke  
aloud. "You know, the stuff I was wearing?"  
"Oh those things? They're out in the living room. I  
have to grab mine and run for my martial arts practice, want  
me to grab yours for you?"  
Scott's kawaii Ami ears went red, this WAS a hentai  
afterall. "Ah, no thanks, I'll get them in a moment."  
"Sure thing my little waterdrop." said Makoto as she  
leaned over and kissed Scott full on the lips. Angie turned  
her head away in disgust based on Scott's allowing the kiss  
to last as long as is was, is, still is... Releasing a  
frustrated sigh she stormed out of the bedroom.  
Scott pushed Makoto away breaking the kiss. "Ah,  
you'd better run, you don't want to be late!"  
"AH! You're right! Je na Ami-chan!" With that  
Makoto ran off, quickly got dressed and headed out the door.  
"It's 'ja ne.'" stated Angie as she watched Scott  
climb from the bed.  
"What?" asked a startled Scott.  
"'Ja ne' not 'je na.'"  
He frowned. "Well, it IS a work in progress..."  
She tossed him a small bundle of clothes. "These  
were all I could find for you to wear."  
Sighing in defeat Scott began to get dressed. He  
got on the little blue panties but had trouble with the bra  
which Angie, now smiling, helped him with. He then put on  
a yellow shirt which was VERY snug and even had shoulderpads  
that confused the hell out of him. By now Angie was  
laughing loudly at the unfamiliar expression his Ami face  
now had.  
"I'm glad you think this is funny..." he drawled  
whilst struggling with a too-short blue pleated skirt.  
Finally achieving a semblance of comfort he donned socks  
and shoes and began to leave the room.  
"Aren't you forgetting something?" asked Angie.  
Scott halted causing his soft blue hair to sway  
a bit. He noticed a red tie still on the bed. "I forgot  
the necktie?"  
Turning to it, Angie smiled. "Well, that too."  
Fumbling with his little Ami-chan hands, he managed  
to tie the garment and looked at Angie. "What else did I  
forget?"  
She pointed to the full-length mirror. "Don't  
you want to see what you look like?"  
Blushing as Ami is prone to do, Scott couldn't curb  
his curiosity for long. He peered into the mirror to see  
the kawaii Ami Mizuno peering back at him. Not believing  
what he saw he leaned over and was thankful that he'd  
clasped the tie to the shirt preventing it from dangling  
loosely between his breasts. But there was something  
missing...  
Hearing something being emptied behind him he  
spun to see Angie dump a purse onto the bedside table.  
Scott stared at the spilled contents for a moment before  
dumbfoundedly looking at Angie, who was grinning widely.  
Cosmetics. Piles and piles of cosmetics.  
"I'm going to enjoy this..." stated Angie as she  
dragged the still stunned Scott to the table.  
  
After hours of what Scott viewed as sheer torture,  
Angie had finished playing doll and admired her work. "A  
masterpiece!"  
She held up a mirror to Scott's painted face and  
his jaw dropped upon seeing the bedazzling image of an Ami  
Mizuno mature beyond her years staring back at him.  
"Wow..." was all he could say before Angie suddenly stood.  
She withdrew the garnet from a pocket. "Well, I  
guess we can leave now."  
"WHAT?! You had me go through all that when we  
could have warped off at any time?!"  
She smirked wryly. "Yep."  
"But why?"  
"This is supposed to be your punishment right?"  
Scott's deep blue Ami eyes got even wider. "But  
why are YOU helping?"  
"Because you wrote a hentai! I can't *believe* you  
wrote a hentai!" exclaimed Angie.  
"Like you never would." said Scott as he closed his  
eyes in frustration and banged the small mirror against his  
blue-haired head.  
Raising the fist that just happened to be containing  
the garnet, Angie frowned. "I--"  
Both were consumed by the familiar flash of light...  
  
Scott was suddenly very aware that someone was eagerly  
sticking their tongue down his throat. Kneeling on what was  
most likely a bed, he also felt a pair of small hands groping  
his naked bottom, and another pair of hands, significantly  
stronger, caressing his bare breasts.  
Breasts again?! "Mmph!" Scott pushed himself back  
slightly and opened his eyes to find himself staring into the  
twinkling blue ones of Usagi Tsukino kneeling in front of him.  
Usagi grinned like a hungry wolf. "Rei-chan, I thought  
you liked it deep?"  
Though unable to speak due to shock, Scott noticed that  
it was Usagi's frisky hands on Rei's, now his, bottom. But  
whose hands were on his Rei breasts?  
As if on cue, those hands upped the ante and started  
playing with his nipples. Unable to help himself he leaned his  
head back and enjoyed the moment. A deep masculine voice  
suddenly spoke into his right ear. "Usako has quite the grip,  
ne Rei-chan?"  
His eyes flashing open once more as what could only  
have been Mamoru's tongue playfully entered his right ear, Scott  
would have screamed if Usagi hadn't clamped her lips over his  
mouth. Instead of hearing a shocked plea for help from Scott  
it instead seemed that the fire senshi herself was lustfully  
moaning into Usagi's hungry mouth.  
This only served to encourage Usagi as she attempted  
to suck Scott's tongue down her own throat, and despite the  
situation Scott didn't do much to object as Rei's body was  
telling his brain that it was REALLY enjoying the attention.  
All were oblivious when the door opened. This included  
Angie as she was too enraptured by the entire scene to notice.  
When the newcomer closed the door and began to undress Angie  
finally noticed her. Her gasp would have halted the actions on  
the bed if she wasn't once more invisible to the 'locals' and  
if Scott knew she was even there.  
For him however, Scott was still in the middle when  
suddenly both Usagi and Mamoru halted and slowly slid in front  
of him. They hugged their naked bodies together and grinned at  
Scott in expectation.  
"What--?" was all he said before he sensed that someone  
had climbed onto the bed behind him. He turned to face the new  
arrival but a silken blindfold was placed over his violet Rei  
Hino eyes before he could see who it was. Slowly he was lowered  
on the bed as both Usagi and Mamoru each subdued a slender arm  
and began fondling his senshi breasts once more.  
The newcomer had a different target however, as she began  
to spread Scott's now long legs into the air. His mind starting  
to panic, Scott was thankful when the newcomer stopped and  
apparently leaned forward.  
"Hello Rei-chan, did you miss me?" she spoke while close.  
Scott's eyes went wide beneath the blindfold. "ANGIE?!"  
Suddenly the blindfold was removed and his question  
answered. "Aw Rei-chan, I thought you said you'd call me  
Emporess." pouted Angie.  
Scott frowned with his fine purply-black eyebrows. He  
looked at Angie between his vulnerable legs, staring eagerly at  
his Rei-hood. Then he noticed Angie standing over by the  
doorway blushing as if she were Sailor Mercury in a pornography  
shop.  
Something inside his mind clicked. "She wrote a hentai  
like I did... But her's is a SELF-INSERTION..." he thought.  
Before his mind could continue on that train of thought,  
Emporess began caressing Scott's Rei Hino thighs and slowly  
ran her hands towards his 'center.' Scott was both ecstatic and  
disappointed when he saw Angie rush forward towards the bed.  
Angie screamed since she knew only Scott could hear her,  
but she likely didn't care even if they could. "We are leaving,  
NOW!!"  
Scott fought his way from the mass of naked bodies  
almost hesitantly. "But I'm kinda starting to like Mars--"  
"Not with me your not!" she huffed.  
Realizing Angie intended to drag him outside despite the  
fact that he was still Rei Hino naked, he shook his arm free of  
her grip. "Wait a sec I just want to--"  
Scott swore he saw flames errupt from Angie's eyes as  
she yelled "Ne, not with my body your not! Besides you already  
did it with Makoto!"  
"No! No! I just need to get dressed!" He grabbed a  
large discarded shirt off the floor, most likely Mamoru's as it  
nearly reached his knees, and dressed hastily much to the  
displeasure of those still on the bed. Or at least that's what  
he thought. They seemed quite content with themselves, and each  
other, at the moment.  
Angie looked back at the bed as she ushered Scott from  
the room. "If it wasn't YOU in Rei back there I wouldn't have  
interrupted."  
"YOU got all mad at me when YOU wrote a hentai of your  
own! How fair is that?" yelled Scott with Rei's smooth voice.  
"At least mine made sense! I didn't mangle a whole  
language!"  
"So?! You wrote yourself into it!"  
She blushed furiously. "Well, I DO like the scene,  
but it's not perfect." She scratched her head unaware that  
the garnet was in the same hand. "The one person that it's  
missing is--"  
They should have expected the flash of light...  
  
Night had fallen on the beautiful courtyard. The light  
from the tall lampposts reflected in the water of the man made  
lake. Two figures sat on the stone ledge that bordered the lake.  
They talked in hushed voices as they stared at the large marble  
statues that flanked the corners of the courtyard. "What brings  
you here at night?" asked Utena, raising her arms above her head  
to stretch out the kinks.  
Jury had a soft smile on her lips as she ignored the  
other girl's question. "I see you wear your uniform at night."  
"Huh?" Utena asked, momentarily confused with the  
question. She looked down at herself. "Oh. Yeah..."  
"Why do you wear a boy's uniform?" Jury continued.  
The other girl's head bowed as she stared at her hands.  
"I think," she began hesitantly. "it's because of the Prince."  
"Prince?" The older girl asked, suspicion tainting her  
voice.  
"When I was little, I met a Prince." Utena didn't seem to  
notice Jury's tone. "That Prince told me something: 'Never lose  
your strength or your nobility.'" She paused, running one tapered  
finger over the ring she wore. "And I remember something else he  
said: 'This ring will lead you to me.' He looked so impressive to  
me. I guess I wear this uniform to be closer to him."  
The person shes speaking to stands, though Utena is too  
enraptured in her own tale to notice. "Sorry, you must think it's  
a really strange story." She doesn't take her eyes off the ring.  
"I don't believe what the student council says, about the Rose  
Bride or Revolution." A little smile seems to come to her lips.  
"But... How do I put it? I think we're both linked by destiny.  
Maybe you could call it a miracle."  
If Utena had been looking at her, she might have seen  
the pain that came to Jury's face then. The word seemed to  
echo through her mind. 'Miracle.' Ghastly word. She sauntered  
over to Utena, her face unreadable. Her hand moved across  
the other girl's hair, sliding down her shoulder. At the same  
time she bent over, her lips reaching ever closer to Utena's.  
"Sempai?" The girl asked in confusion. The hand slid even lower,  
till it rested on the other's wrist. Her hot breath on Utena.  
Something monstrous happened to Jury's face then. Lips  
twisted into an ugly grimace. She jerked the other girl's hand  
up, her finger's wrapped around the ring she prized so much.  
"Throw away your rose seal!" She snarled. Utena leaned back,  
over the fountain, trying to get away. "It makes me sick this  
nobility of yours!" The older girl's grip was too strong.  
The tense scene was broken by a flash of light,  
and for a few moments night was day.  
Scott blinked his eyes a few moments, disoriented.  
At first he thought it was due to dimension jumping, but  
then realized that something else was wrong. He was leaning  
way to far back. He looked up and saw a woman clutching his  
hand, an almost painful grip. She wore a look that seemed  
as confused as his own. The grip was loosening.  
"Eek!" he squealed, losing his balance. Tumbling  
head over heels he felt cold water rush over his face. From  
the waist up his body was submerged in almost frigid liquid.  
Sputtering he pulled himself out of the water till he was  
sitting on the edge of stone again, his teeth chattering. The  
woman now had a wide smile on her face as she looked down at  
her body.  
"Jury!" She whispered in awe, pulling a lock of orange  
hair over her eyes for inspection. The woman had already taken  
in the white nightgown that went to her feet, the purple shawl  
that lay discarded on the ground. He watched as she brought  
her hands up to the daringly cut ruffled V-neck bodice and-  
well- groped. "It IS Jury! I'm Jury!"  
"Angie?" Scott asked bewildered. She didn't seem to hear.  
As what must have been Angie went on and on about her  
Jury body and eventual uniform, Scott took stock of his own. It  
was a far cry from the men's nightshirt he was previously clad in.  
A tight black suit jacket hugged his unfortunately once  
again female body. Three golden buttons ran down the prominent  
front and it flared out his impossibly slim waist. He could feel  
the high collar, and just below it was a green clasp set in a  
golden chain that dangled to his right shoulder. Just before the  
jacket's snug sleeves reached his hands at the ends of his  
slender arms he found elaborate white cuffs folded back and  
trimmed with red, as were the few pockets the blazer sported as  
well.  
From his vantage point he couldn't even see if he was  
wearing any shorts or a skirt, but bending over slightly he saw  
a teeny pair of red shorts with hardly no legs to them at all.  
Naturally this left his own now long legs bare for all to see  
save the small black and white shoes and red socks reaching a  
bit past his ankles.  
"Well, I seem to be having a bit of luck as these aren't  
heeled shoes either..." spoke Scott with a thankfully regular  
pitched though still female voice. He quickly frowned however.  
"But I have no hips, barely any ass to speak of, no discernible  
shoulders..." He grabbed some of his long wet hair with thin  
fingers only now noticing the rose signet ring he wore. "And  
shiny PINK hair?!"  
Angie grinned. "Welcome to Revolutionary Girl Utena,"  
She paused to giggle. "Utena."  
"Utena?" He asked doubtfully. "Don't think I've seen  
that one..."  
"I'm not surprised, dub boy." She said teasingly, her  
face the picture of delight. "Oh this is going to be soooo  
much fun!"  
"Urm, what happens in Utena?" Scott asked, trying to  
cut in on her happy little ranting. "Anything I should worry  
about?"  
"Wellll if I'm not mistaken," she glanced down at  
herself one more time. "this is the episode where Utena duels  
Jury for the Rose Bride."  
"Oh, is that all. Just Utena dueling--" He paused, then  
blinked. "Aren't I Utena?"  
She nodded. One of his pink Utena eyebrows began to  
twitch. "Aren't you Jury?"  
She nodded again, now twirling in a circle, the  
nightgown's bottom fanning out around her. "Doesn't this bother  
you at all?!" He asked exasperated.  
Angie shook her head, the little orange bangs bobbing  
up and down. "Relax, Scott-chan. It'll be over in a few seconds.  
Utena ALWAYS wins her duels." She glanced at the building in the  
distance. "Oooo I bet thats where my room is. I want to take  
a look at all the things Jury has in there." Her hand closed  
around a gold locket and tore it off her neck, placing it in  
her pocket. "As long as *I'm* in her body, they'll be no pity  
parties!" She began to walk to the building.  
"Wait! Angie!" She turned around and gave him an  
impatient look. "Where do I go? What do I do? You can't leave  
me out here."  
She sighed and pointed in the opposite direction.  
"There's a building over there that you sleep in. I'll meet  
up with you early tomorrow. Chu-Chu will show you the way."  
And with that very unhelpful direction giving, she took  
off.  
"Chu-Chu? Who the hell is Chu-Chu?!" He called to her  
retreating form. No answer. "Great, not only am I stuck here  
alone in Utena AS Utena, but she has the garnet still so I  
can't just leave. Not like she'd let me though now that she's  
Jury, whoever that is..." He sighed, pushing his hair back over  
what was supposed to pass as his shoulder. In doing so he noted  
a strange weight on it. Glancing down he saw a little monkey/mouse  
thing that was just too cute for words.  
"ChuChu!" It proclaimed happily, a big grin on its face.  
"What the-- Get it off! Get it off!" He screeched,  
running in the direction of 'his' room, the little pet holding  
on for dear life.  
Two forest-green orbs watched him take off. Pink light  
sparkled off her earlobes as a dark chuckle escaped her lips.  
"Just you wait Scott. Just you wait..."  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
================================================================  
  
Scott: (ringing out his pink Utena hair) Regardless of where  
I am and who I am, I'm just happy to start off clothed this  
time.  
  
Angie: (looking like a pissed off Jury) Hmph.  
  
Scott: (glances at her) Whats wrong with you?  
  
Angie: (Dressed in Jury's school uniform) What do you THINK is  
wrong?! We haven't gotten hardly any mail!  
  
Scott: (coughs nervously into his slender Utena hand) Well, we  
didn't exactly TELL anyone to write us last time ya know... OR  
even give then our email addresses if they wanted to...  
  
Angie: (screeching) As if that's an excuse! (reaches to her  
die and pulls out a long fencing sword)  
  
Scott: (BIG sweatdrop) Um...Maybe we should talk about this  
duel thing.  
  
Angie: (holds the sword menacingly out at the audience) Hey you!  
  
Minna: (freezes)  
  
Angie: That's right! All of you reading this! Where's my mail?!  
I want mail damnit! (makes a few clumsy gestures with the sword)  
  
Scott: (putting a hand tentivly on her shoulder) M-maybe you  
should calm down a bit...  
  
Angie: (turns to stare at him, nearly slicing him with the sword  
in the process) Be quiet, Scott-chan! I know what I'm doing.  
  
Scott: (from the ground where he hit the floor) R-r-right...  
  
Angie: (swiveling back to audience) As I was saying before I was  
interrupted: Mail. E-mail. I want it. You will send it. Right???  
  
Minna: (Nodding enthusiastically)  
  
Angie: (rubbing hands together evilly) Exxxcelent. Now, for  
more important matters. (smiles at Scott) Ne, Scott-chan,  
did you ever see the remake of Zorro?  
  
Scott: (nodding while standing) Sure, why do you--Uh oh...  
(starts to run)  
  
Angie: (chasing with sword) Get back here! You must be hot in  
that anyway!  
  
Questions? Comments? Arrows?  
(thrawn27@hotmail.com or Angst88@aol.com) 


	4. Chapter Three Outake

WHEN PLUTOS ATTACK! CHAPTER 3 OUTTAKE  
  
Now what this is, is a compilation of the emails sent back and  
forth between myself, Angie and Andrea Readwolf, author of a  
whole wack of Sailor Moon fanfics. Naturally things got out of  
hand and by the end of it she's enjoying herself a wee bit too  
much if you ask me. (Andrea: no one did, baka, so hush up!)  
  
That said, there will be opportunities for future Outtakes (there  
will be one for each chapter provided we get enough reasons (i.e.   
emails) to do one) For clarification, each outtake is like a   
an inter-chapter segment. They have no real meaning or importance  
to the plot(yes, there is a plot), but they are fun to read, none-  
the-less!  
  
If you would like to participate in a future Outtake, you have to   
respond to the chapter you want to be associated with. For example,   
Andrea responded to Chapter 3, therefore her segment takes place   
'during' Chapter 3. ^_^ Say Chapter ## has ???? anime. You respond   
to that and you are somehow in that anime...  
  
With us no less... @_@  
It is important to note that not everyone who replies will be in   
a future Outtake. If you wish to remain untainted by a future   
Outtake, please just let us know.   
  
Lastly, enjoy! Not all the outtakes will have the email thing  
at the beginning like this, but this one was how the idea originated  
plus there are some great lines that reappear in later Chapters.  
  
Have fun! ^_^  
-Scott "Cyclops" Summerton, co-author "When Plutos Attack!"  
(::evil grin:: and editted by Andrea Readwolf ::winks::)   
********************************************************  
  
Date: March 17-22-27-29, 2000   
From:Andrea Readwolf   
To: Scott Summerton   
Subject: When Plutos Attack! 3--A Reply   
  
A Note to Our Readers:   
  
Since I, Andrea Readwolf, actually wrote directly on the copy  
Scott sent me, you will get to re-read "When Plutos Attack! 3"   
all over again. ::evil grin:: but this time with *MY* comments.  
don't you feel lucky? However, since this whole scenerio takes   
place over four different occasions, some... scenes may seem a   
little... strange... ::frowns:: okay, so the whole thing is a   
little strange, but it's still fun!  
  
*********************  
  
Somewhere, some time, some place... it didn't really matter  
because it was quiet, but that didn't last for long because  
there was a sudden flash of light...  
  
Two females appeared, one with long hair full of orange curls  
and wearing a mostly white uniform, the other was primarily  
black clad with long pink hair. The orange-haired one spoke...  
  
deep female voice: (happy!) I told you I told you I told you!  
  
plain female voice: OK, so there's a theater set up and  
we're in it... so what?  
  
Andrea: That's what I want to--- oh.   
  
deep female voice: This is how were going to reply to that  
email we got Scott-chan!  
  
plain female voice... Scott: (looking at the  
film projector) Yeah, you're right Angie, we did get an  
email, and it's from Andrea Readwolf? Great she's going  
to make fun of me now...  
  
Andrea: ::blushes:: I'm not making fun of you... ::blush deepens::  
okay, so I am, but that's entirely besides the point!  
  
Scott: See?!  
  
Angie: (heading towards some good seats) Oh come on, just  
because you're still Utena doesn't mean she'll make fun of  
you!  
  
Scott: (bows his head causing his shiny pink Utena hair to  
fall over his shoulders) No, you mean "as long as YOU'RE  
in JURI no one will make fun of YOU" right?  
  
Angie: (flashing a brilliant Juri-smile) Either or! ^_^  
  
Andrea: Eep! ::seriously re-thinking replying to the reply  
of the reply...:: I don't even know who U-ten-a is! ::smiles:: but  
I know who Scott is...  
  
Angie: (twitching eyebrow) Oh you do? And how well does  
she know you scott-chan? (hefts sword)  
  
Andrea: I don't know him at all! I swear it! Really!  
Honestly! He's just some cooky guy who had the misfortune to  
reply to one of my stories! Honest!  
  
Scott: (shrinking back) Well, right now not all that well  
what with my being Utena and all...  
  
Angie: (full body twitch) And how well does she know you in  
your regular body?! (drops the sword and begins looking for  
the whip)  
  
Scott: NO WAIT I didn't mean like THAT!!  
  
Andrea: (smiles with interest) whip?… or cat-o-nail-tails?  
::shivers with excitement)  
  
Scott: (taking a seat next to Angie) Just start the email...  
  
Andrea: ::too curious to stop reading...::  
  
Angie: (grining) Hai, hai! Its like an infectious disease isn't  
it! Come one, cum all! Hentai for everyone!  
  
Andrea: (turns, pinks… then red… then busts out laughing)  
  
Scott: (one pink eyebrow raised) You're going to start offering  
her Jello too aren't you?  
  
Angie: (giggles madly)  
  
Andrea: Jello? What flavor?  
  
Angie: (smiling sweetly) Cream lemon of course!  
  
Andrea and Scott: o.0  
  
================================================================  
Before reading this, I would suggest taking a peak at any of  
the stories on here by the authors. Atleast skim =). This was  
written purely to torture Scott and me on our respective  
b-days :P It has no effect on "Fall From Grace" or any of  
Scott "Cyclops" Summerton's writings.  
  
Andrea: ::still laughing::  
  
Hold on to anything you can, it's ecchi time! Again!  
  
Andrea: I still can't believe Andrea let you get this in without a   
hentai ranting…  
  
Scott: What's hard to believe about it? There's no real  
hentai in this, just 'R' rated stuff... (ponders) But what's  
a 'hentai ranting?'  
  
Angie: Hentai Free zealots?  
  
Scott: I thought they made HentaiFreeFree to combat that?  
  
Angie: (glaring her Juri-glare) You would know "Ami-boy"...  
  
(Scott cowers as best as Utena can from the glare)  
  
Andrea: ::quivering as she keeps one eye on Juri-look-alike at all  
times:: from my little experience ::coughs and blushes::  
hentai is anything with sexual content in it...   
  
Angie: Little experiance? She must expand then! (takes  
out Urotsukidoji) Good thing I packed this for the trip!  
  
Andrea: (runs behind Scott, hiding)…   
  
Scott: I wouldn't call Urot "Hentai 101" Angie...  
  
Andrea: (peeps from behind) "Hentai 101"? (takes a step out…)   
  
Angie: (smiles) But with *me* as the teacher (licks her lips)  
  
Scott: (really pale) I'm glad I haven't seen it yet...  
  
Angie: (grinning wolfishly) So am I...  
  
Andrea: oiya oiya!  
  
As always, Sailor Moon ain't mine.  
  
********************************************************  
  
Scott opened his eyes sleepily.  
  
Andrea: that doesn't sound right  
  
Scott: Hey, I was sleepily tired, give me a break!  
  
Andrea: ::looks:: this from the person who scored second highest on that   
quiz?  
  
Angie: (watching Scott blush deeply) Hai, he was frightningly pure   
before meeting me.   
  
He was in bed, but it wasn't his bed, and he still wasn't himself.  
He started to lift the sheets to see who he was, but all he was able  
to determine was that he was naked before movement beside him  
interrupted his examination.  
"'Morning lover," came a husky female voice.  
Scott turned to face the female in bed beside him, but whoever  
he was was still partially asleep. "Huh, wha?"  
"Ohh, did I tire you out last night?" came the playful reply.  
"I... Makoto?" Scott smiled widely, but then he had to blink.  
"Wait... something's wrong..."  
The grin on Makoto's face was practically blinding. "Wrong?"  
She leaned in close a brushed a lock of blue (BLUE?!) hair from  
Scott's eyes. "Whatever could be wrong Ami-chan?"  
As the very naked Makoto began to straddle Scott's equally  
naked Ami Mizuno body, Angie merely sat back in the doorway and took  
in the entire scene with huge eyes. "Oh my..."  
  
===============================================================  
  
"La la la la la la la..."  
Hands over her ears, Angie continued to sing in an  
attempt to block out the noise.  
"La la la la..." She paused and listened for a  
moment, shaking when she heard the squeaking of bedsprings.  
  
Andrea: (HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER)  
  
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!"  
All of a sudden she heard a loud THUMP.  
She removed her hands from her ears. Silence.  
Angie had retreated to the small bathroom when she  
saw Makoto Kino, straddling Scott who is in the body of Ami  
Mizuno, withdraw some, shall we say, toys. The scene may  
have seemed fun, but even she had her limits.  
"It if wasn't Makoto and Ami I wouldn't mind as much,  
but this seems to be more of a fantasy that Scott would think  
up..."  
  
Andrea: OH REALLY? NAH, GIVE ME HARUKA ****ANY**** DAY…  
  
  
OK maybe not limits, but at least preferences...  
  
Andrea: LOL!!! I HAVEN'T EVEN MET HER, BUT I LIKE HER ALREADY!  
  
Angie: I don't know why she found that funny. I thought it  
was pretty revolting myself.  
  
Andrea: I'm so used to Ami and Makoto now, bfrphs! It's nothing...  
  
Scott: Oh great, two of them to team up on me. (turns to  
Angie) So when should I expect her to come ally herself with  
you?  
  
Angie: (making a V-sign and holding up the garnet) Ne, how  
about now? I deserve a little fan service after that whole  
'Makoto' thing!  
  
Andrea: Eep! But-but-but! EEP! ::runs for cover::   
  
Angie: You can run but you can't hiiide. ^_^  
  
Andrea: WATCH ME! NA NA NA NA NA NAAAAA! EEP!  
  
Scott: (lunging for the garnet) Give me that!  
  
(knocks it out of her hand and it rolls under some theater  
seats)  
  
Scott: Oops...  
  
(Angie pouts)  
  
::Andrea peeks head from under the bed::   
  
Angie: (mumbling) next time I get the garnet, I'm wishing  
him as Artemis in an Oscarfic.  
  
Andrea: You know, that made absolutely no sense to me...   
::sighs::  
  
Scott and Angie: (simultaneously) Thank the lord/kamis!  
  
Scott: (sigh) We still have to explain it to her though...  
  
Angie: (arms crossed) I refuse. Some hentai is BEYOND even me.  
  
Scott: Beyond wishing me into it as... well YOU know...  
  
Angie: (holding garnet) Hai! Should we make a quick stop,  
or will you explain?  
  
Scott: EEP. Well, you see, its a REALLY bad hentai lemon  
fic author... his claim to fame is "Artemis' Lover" because  
Oscar (the author) self-inserts himself as... well...  
Artemis' lover.  
  
Angie: (shudders)  
  
Andrea: (shudders)… that's…   
  
Scott: (wincing) I feel so dirty...  
  
Andrea: um… as… himself? never mind... I don't think I want to   
know...  
  
Angie: (licks lips) I can make you clean, scott-chan  
  
Andrea: she's in a mood today, isn't she?   
  
Scott: Um... I should mention that Lord Chaos has written  
a series called Fanboys! mentioned the MSTing of it by Megane  
6.7, among many MANY others that also MSTed it.  
  
Andrea: "Fanboys"? when was this? I haven't heard anything  
about this! "MSTed"? huh?   
  
(pause)  
  
Scott: Yes, THAT Lord Chaos, the Dreamworld/Nocturnal Tour  
one. Go visit carnage.fanfic.org and, well, best of luck  
in keeping your sanity.  
  
Angie: Chibi-Havocs everywhere! Chibi-Havocs eveywhere!  
(singing)  
  
Andrea: (dreamy sigh) Dreamworld... now there's a fic I wouldn't  
mind reading a couple times more...   
  
Scott: O_O I can't explain it... just read the fics.  
  
Andrea: um…… okay…   
  
Suddenly there was a loud gasp followed by the voice  
of Sailor Mercury. "Ohh... Mah-KOOOOOOOOOOOO-toh!"  
Angie's eyes boggled and she immediately began  
humming 'Ai No Senshi' completely ignorant of the irony.  
  
Andrea: (ROFL!!!!)  
  
Angie: Ne, why is she laugh- (blushes) Senshi of love. Oh.  
Right.  
  
Scott: (reminiscing) Oh you wouldn't BELIEVE what she did  
there! First she wrapped her legs around mine and THEN she  
reached under the bed and grabbed a--  
  
Angie: (replacing the newspaper with Juri's sword) Finish  
that sentance and die, dub-boy.  
  
Scott: O_O Scarfitwasjustascarfyouknowityousawit! (blink)  
  
Andrea: ::blink blink:: o.o;; oh, really? ::clears throat  
and continues reading:: (for those of you who are having   
problems figuring that out... "scarf it was just a scarf you   
know it you saw it it!")   
  
Angie: (ears perkup) Toys? She likes toys!  
  
Andrea: (coughs and blushes) uh oh…  
  
Scott: This isn't good. This isn't good at all...  
  
Angie: (disappearing up to her feet which stick out of a  
box) Mmmm let see. OOO! (a buzzing is heard)  
  
Scott: (twiches silently)  
  
Angie: (from box) Ne, Scott-chan, where did we put that--  
  
Scott: The what? The scarf? You want the scarf right?  
That's all I ever saw...  
  
Angie: (still in the box) Yes... the "scarf"...  
  
Andrea: (face red, making funny choking noises)  
  
Finally Angie heard footsteps coming towards the  
bathroom. "Uh oh!" She began to frantically try and hide  
but it was to no avail as a VERY happy looking and VERY naked  
Makoto entered.  
"AAAAAAHHHHH!" screamed Angie halfway behind the  
shower curtain where she was trying to hide. "Gomen nasai!  
Don't beat me up..." She blinked. "Nani?"  
To her surprise, Makoto completely ignored her as  
if she wasn't even there and began to brush her teeth.  
Angie ever-so discreetly coughed and there was still no  
reaction. Makoto had no idea she was there, it was as if  
she was invisible. Sighing a breath of relief she decided  
to check on Scott.  
Reentering the bedroom she saw Ami Mizuno, her naked  
body absolutely glistening with sweat, breathing deeply as  
she stared at the ceiling. Her hands were bound lightly by  
a thin scarf, and her face was one of both immense  
satisfaction and total confusion. That last bit reminded  
Angie that right now Ami was actually Scott.  
  
Andrea: THE CONFUSION, HUH?  
  
Though invisible, she was able to undo Scott's  
bindings. Lazily turning his head towards her he began  
attempting to blink his deep blue Ami Mizuno eyes back into  
focus.  
"You can see me?" Scott nodded. Angie looked at  
him dubiously. "Are you ok?"  
Scott still seemed somewhat out of it, but answered  
regardless. "She... and I... and then... wow."  
  
Andrea: (DYING OF LAUGHTER)  
  
(Angie just sits sharpening her sword)  
  
Scott: (trying to hide from Angie's Juri-glare as well) And  
I'm dying of fright...  
  
Tossing the scarf aside she huffed at him. "I can't  
believe you! You liked it... AS Ami?!"  
Sitting up Scott blushed as Ami always does. "Well,  
we're in some sort of hentai I think, so 'Ami' liked it, and  
since I currently AM Ami, I couldn't help but like it too."  
  
Andrea: UH HUH, OKAY, ALRIGHT. YEP… ::starts to laugh again::  
  
Scott: (curious) Hey what'd she mean by that?  
  
Angie: (sighs) Baka no Scott-chan...  
  
Andrea: Oui.   
  
Scott: (all innocent as he brushes pink bangs from his  
eyes) I still don't get it...  
  
Andrea: ::shakes head::   
  
"Well, I don't remember Ami and Makoto ever being  
lovers in the anime, not this blatantly anyway... Where are  
we then? Some pervert's fanfic?"  
Scott snapped to attention. "I'm not a--! I mean  
no of COURSE not! We, well..." He paused to look at her.  
"Hey, you're you still. Minus the bunny suit that is."  
  
Andrea: YOU DIDN'T?!?!?! REALLY? Lol SCOTT! THAT'S TERRIBLE!  
LOL… CAN I READ IT? HEE HEE HEE  
  
Angie: Of course you can't, its just a plot device, right  
Scott-chan?  
  
Andrea: ::chokes trying not to laugh::   
  
Scott: Aha ha, um, well, you see...  
  
Angie: RIGHT SCOTT-CHAN?!  
  
Scott: (meekly) Yes!  
  
Andrea: ::grins:: ah, so I can read it, huh?   
  
Angie: (eyes narrowed) "Yes" its a plot point or "yes" she  
can read it?  
  
Scott: O_O Eep!  
  
Andrea: ::swallows:: the only good thing about this is that  
she's there, and I'm here...  
  
Angie: Not for long! One woman hentai service, on the way for you!  
  
Andrea: oh? Really… ::clears throat:: I see…   
  
Scott: Then why do I have to come?  
  
Angie: (looks at Scott's Utena body) Who said *I* was the "one  
woman?"  
  
Andrea: (rofl)   
  
(Scott faints)  
  
Angie: (grinning) Even better! So much more pliable when unconsious!  
  
(smiles at the unconscious Scott-chan)  
  
Angie: Besides, his fic is a plot point, just like Mercury  
is just a plot point in any Sailor Moon episode.  
  
Andrea: you know, while you have him unconscious… he tried  
to get me to write about a drunk, shit-faced,   
three-sheets-to-the-wind Makoto! Lol!   
  
"Hey, this is more your fantasy than it is mine,  
being with Makoto." She noticed Scott almost cowering.  
"What's wrong?"  
"I think I recognize this, and I don't want to say  
why." he mumbled.  
Curious she turned to him. "Why?"  
  
Andrea: Didn't he just say he didn't wanna say 'why'?   
  
Angie: Hai, he repeats himself often. One too many smacks to  
the head I think.  
  
"Um, it IS a hentai fanfic, but it's one that hasn't  
been published anywhere yet."  
That one stumped her. "Nani? How can you recognize  
a hentai fanfic that hasn't been published unless..." Her  
blue eyes widened. "Unless YOU wrote it!"  
  
Andrea: ::SQUEALS, SCARING ROOMMATES:: YOU DID! HA!  
  
Angie: So thats what the yes meant! (Pulling out big ass  
sword again) SHIN'NE!  
  
Scott: What's "shin'ne" mean? (turns to face a swordwielding  
Angie) Oh crap!  
  
Andrea: ::swallows:: I don't know... but I think now would be  
an excellent time to discover how fast Utena can run...   
  
(Angie chases Scott down the theater aisles before Scott  
trips on something and goes flying forward into the front  
row...)  
  
Angie: (picking up what Scott tripped on) Well, I found the  
garnet! ^_^  
  
Andrea: ^.^;;  
  
"Hey calm down!" he whispered hurriedly. "I've  
never written a hentai before and decided to do one of those  
as my first story to use the Japanese names and, well, I  
thought Mercury and Jupiter always made a great couple..."  
  
Andrea: ::STILL LAUGHING:: DO YOU KNOW ERIK MONTOYA  
BY ANY CHANCE?  
  
Angie: Ne, Scott-chan, isn't that your loading page on  
Netscape?  
  
Scott: (from the front row) What? (crawls back to his seat)  
No of course not, it's my loading page on Internet Explo-- er,  
I mean, what are you talking about?  
  
Andrea: So you know who Erik Montoya is? ::grins::   
  
Angie: Scott-chan is #1 member of his fan club. Show her your  
card-- Oh. right. Still asleep. Damn. (ponders) Why don't I  
just get it myself? (reaches for Scott's pockets...)  
  
Scott: (waking up) Huh, wha?  
  
Angie: (pulling back her hands quickly) Drat!  
  
She merely glared at him in response.  
"Angie I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring us here...  
I don't even know how we GOT here."  
Still glaring, she spoke regardless. "It was the  
garnet, you do still have it don't you?"  
Scott searched the bed quickly. Upon finding  
nothing but the satin sheets he began to panic. "It's, it's  
gone! And if it's gone then we can't... and I'm stuck..."  
"OK OK OK calm down calm down, it's got to be  
around here somewhere..." Angie began looking about the  
room and sighed when she peeked under the bed. "It's down  
here... that must've been that thump I heard earlier.  
You do NOT want to know what else is under here though."  
she said standing up after retrieving the garnet. She  
glared at him again. "Oh, wait, you already DO know  
because YOU wrote all of this."  
  
Andrea: HMMMM… I WONDER……  
  
Angie: (shaking her head) Pales in comparison to *my* toybox. Hmph.  
  
"I'm sorry...!" pleaded Scott before he noticed  
something missing from the room. "Did you see any clothes  
under there? I don't see a dresser in here."  
Angie sighed but then blinked upon realizing that  
there WAS no dresser in the room. "Why don't you ask  
Makoto?"  
Scott agreed. "Good idea." At that convenient  
moment Makoto reentered the room. "Um, Mako-chan... Where's  
the dresser?"  
Makoto frowned. "The what?"  
Scott's blue Ami eyebrows shot up. "You know, the  
thing to store clothes in?"  
Makoto looked at him like he'd just made the word up.  
"Clothes?"  
"I really ought to work on character development a bit  
more on this one..." he thought. Clearing his throat he spoke  
aloud. "You know, the stuff I was wearing?"  
"Oh those things? They're out in the living room. I  
have to grab mine and run for my martial arts practice, want  
me to grab yours for you?"  
Scott's kawaii Ami ears went red, this WAS a hentai  
afterall. "Ah, no thanks, I'll get them in a moment."  
"Sure thing my little waterdrop." said Makoto as she  
leaned over and kissed Scott full on the lips. Angie turned  
her head away in disgust based on Scott's allowing the kiss  
to last as long as is was, is, still is... Releasing a  
frustrated sigh she stormed out of the bedroom.  
Scott pushed Makoto away breaking the kiss. "Ah,  
you'd better run, you don't want to be late!"  
"AH! You're right! Je na Ami-chan!" With that  
Makoto ran off, quickly got dressed and headed out the door.  
"It's 'ja ne.'" stated Angie as she watched Scott  
climb from the bed.  
  
Andrea: I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY THAT… ::grins::  
  
"What?" asked a startled Scott.  
"'Ja ne' not 'je na.'"  
He frowned. "Well, it IS a work in progress..."  
She tossed him a small bundle of clothes. "These  
were all I could find for you to wear."  
Sighing in defeat Scott began to get dressed. He  
got on the little blue panties but had trouble with the bra  
which Angie, now smiling, helped him with. He then put on  
a yellow shirt which was VERY snug and even had shoulderpads  
that confused the hell out of him. By now Angie was  
laughing loudly at the unfamiliar expression his Ami face  
now had.  
  
Andrea: WOW… THIS MUST BE REALLY OLD. NOT TOO  
MANY OUTFITS COME WITH SHOULDER PADS ANYMORE.  
  
"I'm glad you think this is funny..." he drawled  
whilst struggling with a too-short blue pleated skirt.  
Finally achieving a semblance of comfort he donned socks  
and shoes and began to leave the room.  
"Aren't you forgetting something?" asked Angie.  
Scott halted causing his soft blue hair to sway  
a bit. He noticed a red tie still on the bed. "I forgot  
the necktie?"  
Turning to it, Angie smiled. "Well, that too."  
Fumbling with his little Ami-chan hands, he managed  
to tie the garment and looked at Angie. "What else did I  
forget?"  
She pointed to the full-length mirror. "Don't  
you want to see what you look like?"  
Blushing as Ami is prone to do, Scott couldn't curb  
his curiosity for long. He peered into the mirror to see  
the kawaii Ami Mizuno peering back at him. Not believing  
what he saw he leaned over and was thankful that he'd  
clasped the tie to the shirt preventing it from dangling  
loosely between his breasts. But there was something  
missing...  
Hearing something being emptied behind him he  
spun to see Angie dump a purse onto the bedside table.  
Scott stared at the spilled contents for a moment before  
dumbfoundedly looking at Angie, who was grinning widely.  
Cosmetics. Piles and piles of cosmetics.  
"I'm going to enjoy this..." stated Angie as she  
dragged the still stunned Scott to the table.  
  
Andrea: (SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER)  
  
After hours of what Scott viewed as sheer torture,  
Angie had finished playing doll and admired her work. "A  
masterpiece!"  
She held up a mirror to Scott's painted face and  
his jaw dropped upon seeing the bedazzling image of an Ami  
Mizuno mature beyond her years staring back at him.  
"Wow..." was all he could say before Angie suddenly stood.  
  
Andrea: SHE'S GOOD.  
  
She withdrew the garnet from a pocket. "Well, I  
guess we can leave now."  
"WHAT?! You had me go through all that when we  
could have warped off at any time?!"  
She smirked wryly. "Yep."  
"But why?"  
"This is supposed to be your punishment right?"  
Scott's deep blue Ami eyes got even wider. "But  
why are YOU helping?"  
"Because you wrote a hentai! I can't *believe* you  
wrote a hentai!" exclaimed Angie.  
"Like you never would." said Scott as he closed his  
eyes in frustration and banged the small mirror against his  
blue-haired head.  
Raising the fist that just happened to be containing  
the garnet, Angie frowned. "I--"  
  
Andrea: BET YOU SHE DID!  
  
Scott: SHE DID SHE DID! I saw it first hand!  
  
Angie: (with newspaper) Quiet you!  
  
Scott: But you did!  
  
Angie: (mashing teeth together) It was a plot device I tell  
you! A plot device!  
  
Scott: Oh sure, NOW it's a plot device...  
  
Andrea: ::stays silent... trying desperately not to laugh::   
  
Both were consumed by the familiar flash of light...  
  
Scott was suddenly very aware that someone was eagerly  
sticking their tongue down his throat. Kneeling on what was  
most likely a bed, he also felt a pair of small hands groping  
his naked bottom, and another pair of hands, significantly  
stronger, caressing his bare breasts.  
Breasts again?! "Mmph!" Scott pushed himself back  
slightly and opened his eyes to find himself staring into the  
twinkling blue ones of Usagi Tsukino kneeling in front of him.  
Usagi grinned like a hungry wolf. "Rei-chan, I thought  
you liked it deep?"  
  
Andrea: I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED… ::sighs:: THE  
GANG-BANG IS NEXT, RIGHT?  
  
Scott: Gang-bang? Most likely, this IS Angie's hentai now...  
  
Angie: (cough) Ok 'Ami'.  
  
Scott: Hmph, whatever...  
  
Though unable to speak due to shock, Scott noticed that  
it was Usagi's frisky hands on Rei's, now his, bottom. But  
whose hands were on his Rei breasts?  
As if on cue, those hands upped the ante and started  
playing with his nipples. Unable to help himself he leaned his  
head back and enjoyed the moment. A deep masculine voice  
suddenly spoke into his right ear. "Usako has quite the grip,  
ne Rei-chan?"  
  
Andrea: THREE SOME!!! WHAHOO! WITH MAMORU, TOO, NE?  
  
Scott: Like I said, this IS Angie's hentai...  
  
Angie: (grinning) And what a hentai it is! Ne, all we need is  
a certain androgynous blonde...  
  
Andrea: ::starts chanting:: Haruka! Haruka! Haruka!  
Haruka! ::grins::   
  
Scott: (blink) 'Androgynous blonde?'  
  
Andrea: Haruka! Haruka! Haruka! Haruka! ::grins::   
  
Angie: (drooling visibly) Haruka-sama...(holding the garnet  
again) Ne, lets go get her on the way to get Andrea-chan!  
  
Andrea: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! ::grins::   
  
Angie: See? Already excited, and I havn't even touched her yet!  
  
Scott: (relieved!) So you DON'T need me there? Phew!  
  
Angie: (smiling) Ne, your one of my props!  
  
Scott: (sarcastically) Let me guess, I'm only standing here  
because I couldn't fit into your box of toys?  
  
Angie: (musing) I never did try that (opens lid and turns to Scott)  
  
Scott: This is SO not good...  
  
Andrea: (laughing) some one should learn to keep his mouth  
shut when it's not needed for… other… things…   
  
Scott: Oh no you don't... (considers lunging for the garnet  
but pauses) Last time we almost lost that thing when I tried  
this...  
  
Angie: (smirking) Maybe later, but I'm definitely hanging on  
to this for you...  
  
His eyes flashing open once more as what could only  
  
Andrea: HIS? OH! YOUR'S… CONFUSED ME THERE WHY DON'T YOU.  
  
have been Mamoru's tongue playfully entered his right ear, Scott  
would have screamed if Usagi hadn't clamped her lips over his  
mouth. Instead of hearing a shocked plea for help from Scott  
it instead seemed that the fire senshi herself was lustfully  
moaning into Usagi's hungry mouth.  
This only served to encourage Usagi as she attempted  
to suck Scott's tongue down her own throat, and despite the  
situation Scott didn't do much to object as Rei's body was  
telling his brain that it was REALLY enjoying the attention.  
  
Andrea: UH HUH… SURE. ALRIGHT. I THINK IT WAS SCOTT'S MIND  
TELLING HIM…  
  
Scott: (sitting as Utena with his legs crossed) There she  
goes again... what's she talking about?  
  
Angie: (audible eyebrow twitch as she watches him) You've  
got to be joking.  
  
Andrea: He is. There's no way he could be that ignorant...  
even for a male.   
  
Scott: HEY!  
  
Angie: Males; inferior creatures whose soul purpose is to  
work and give money to females.  
  
Scott: (looks at Angie) HEY!  
  
Angie: Its ok, your female.  
  
Scott: (confused!) I... but... I'm not supposed to... wha?!  
  
Andrea: (smiling) enjoy the excellence while it lasts, dear.  
Which reminds me, I just got a lovely little joke in the inbox  
today… remind me to share it with you…   
  
All were oblivious when the door opened. This included  
Angie as she was too enraptured by the entire scene to notice.  
When the newcomer closed the door and began to undress Angie  
finally noticed her. Her gasp would have halted the actions on  
the bed if she wasn't once more invisible to the 'locals' and  
if Scott knew she was even there.  
  
Andrea: ALRIGHT! FOURSOME!  
  
For him however, Scott was still in the middle when  
suddenly both Usagi and Mamoru halted and slowly slid in front  
of him. They hugged their naked bodies together and grinned at  
Scott in expectation.  
"What--?" was all he said before he sensed that someone  
had climbed onto the bed behind him. He turned to face the new  
arrival but a silken blindfold was placed over his violet-Rei-Hino  
eyes before he could see who it was. Slowly he was lowered  
on the bed as both Usagi and Mamoru each subdued a slender arm  
and began fondling his senshi breasts once more.  
The newcomer had a different target however, as she began  
to spread Scott's now long legs into the air. His mind starting  
to panic, Scott was thankful when the newcomer stopped and  
apparently leaned forward.  
"Hello Rei-chan, did you miss me?" she spoke while close.  
Scott's eyes went wide beneath the blindfold. "ANGIE?!"  
Suddenly the blindfold was removed and his question  
answered. "Aw Rei-chan, I thought you said you'd call me  
Emporess." pouted Angie.  
  
Andrea: OH MI GODS!!!! TOLD YOU!!!! HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Scott: (shakes head and sighs) At least my hentai wasn't  
self-insertion...  
  
Andrea: ::grins:: yea, but her's is more fun...   
  
Angie: (screeching) Plot device I tell you! Its ALL plot device!  
(to the side) Though I wouldn't *mind* a Rei-chan calling me   
Emporess...   
  
Scott: Of course! Three people aren't enough so that fourth  
one is integral to the scene... (pause) What was that?  
  
Andrea: Wait till they add the fifth or six... then things really  
start to get interesting! ::coughs and blushes:: not that I would  
know anything about it...   
  
Angie: (really big grin) Hai she is an *experianced*  
pile-up otaku?! Kya!  
  
Scott: You sound both excited and scared there...  
  
Angie: Hehehe, great isn't it?  
  
Scott: O_O  
  
Angie: (flexing hentai muscles) I hope I'm up to it. Things have  
been slow since Wonderland.  
  
Andrea: (clearing throat…again) well… gee… you see… it's  
like this… and then… and well… so you see… and now… oh, fuck it.  
(sighs)   
  
Angie: (no longer listening and is now frantically typing on a  
computer while mumbling about 'Rei-chan' writing assistants.)  
  
Andrea: ::grins:: now, where's that blonde?   
  
Angie: (looking up with her own grin) On the way! Want her giftwrapped?   
We have flavors! "Passion Papaya Panties!"  
  
Scott: (looking around) Wha? We do? Where?  
  
Angie: (grinning) whatcha think your wearing, Utena?  
  
Scott: Since when? (notices a sweet papaya fragrance coming  
from his...) Oh hell...  
  
Andrea: (laughing hysterically) no flavors… but if you got  
a cute satin blue ribbon/choker around her neck… and nothing  
else…? (grins hopefully)  
  
Scott frowned with his fine purply-black eyebrows. He  
looked at Angie between his vulnerable legs, staring eagerly at  
his Rei-hood. Then he noticed Angie standing over by the  
doorway blushing as if she were Sailor Mercury in a pornography  
shop.  
Something inside his mind clicked. "She wrote a hentai  
like I did... But her's is a SELF-INSERTION..." he thought.  
  
Andrea: HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA… DOES SHE KNOW YOU WROTE THIS? DID SHE   
REALLY? (ROFL)  
  
Scott: Did she know? It was her idea!  
  
Andrea: Oh ho!   
  
Angie: (pauses in her typing to take out a recorder) Note to self:  
Extend Scott-chan's 'discipline' session an extra hour. (Resumes  
her typing)  
  
Scott: EEP!  
  
Before his mind could continue on that train of thought,  
Emporess began caressing Scott's Rei Hino thighs and slowly  
ran her hands towards his 'center.' Scott was both ecstatic and  
disappointed when he saw Angie rush forward towards the bed.  
Angie screamed since she knew only Scott could hear her,  
but she likely didn't care even if they could. "We are leaving,  
NOW!!"  
Scott fought his way from the mass of naked bodies  
almost hesitantly. "But I'm kinda starting to like Mars--"  
"Not with me your not!" she huffed.  
  
Andrea: HEE HEE HEE HEE….  
  
Realizing Angie intended to drag him outside despite the  
fact that he was still Rei Hino naked, he shook his arm free of  
her grip. "Wait a sec I just want to--"  
Scott swore he saw flames errupt from Angie's eyes as  
she yelled "Ne, not with my body your not! Besides you already  
did it with Makoto!"  
"No! No! I just need to get dressed!" He grabbed a  
large discarded shirt off the floor, most likely Mamoru's as it  
nearly reached his knees, and dressed hastily much to the  
displeasure of those still on the bed. Or at least that's what  
he thought. They seemed quite content with themselves, and each  
other, at the moment.  
Angie looked back at the bed as she ushered Scott from  
the room. "If it wasn't YOU in Rei back there I wouldn't have  
interrupted."  
"YOU got all mad at me when YOU wrote a hentai of your  
own! How fair is that?" yelled Scott with Rei's smooth voice.  
"At least mine made sense! I didn't mangle a whole  
language!"  
"So?! You wrote yourself into it!"  
She blushed furiously. "Well, I DO like the scene,  
but it's not perfect." She scratched her head unaware that  
the garnet was in the same hand. "The one person that it's  
missing is--"  
They should have expected the flash of light...  
  
Andrea: HARUKA HARUKA HARUKA HARUKA HA--OOPS,  
WAIT, NO, THAT'S MY FIC… HEE HEE…  
  
Angie: Her fic?! Ooooo THATS where we need to go Scott-chan!  
Gimme gimme gimme!  
  
Andrea: ::face drains:: Eep! No! wait! You can't! No! I'm  
not dressed! Eek! I knew I should have taken that shower before  
reading this... damn!   
  
Angie: (places shower cap on head) Not a problem!  
  
(Scott looks wearily at Angie-as-Juri in her Juri uniform  
and shower cap...)  
  
Andrea: um… no, really, that's quite alright… um… hee hee… hee?   
  
Scott: Geez you must be excited to go there, you HAVE the  
garnet already and don't even realize it!  
  
Angie: (with checklist) Ok, first we go pick up Rei-chan,  
then we hop over to Mamoru's. After that if we take a turn--  
  
Andrea: Haruka! Haruka! Haruka! Haruka! ::grins::   
  
Scott: Nothing's going to stop you is it?  
  
Andrea: (still chanting 'Haruka')   
  
Angie: Neither rain nor sleet nor snow will stop hentai  
from its destination. ^_^   
  
Andrea: (still chanting 'Haruka')   
  
Scott: I don't think so! (grabs checklist and glances at  
it) Hey, I don't see Jupiter on there...  
  
Andrea: (still chanting 'Haruka')   
  
Angie: Ne, don't you think you've 'seen' enough of her already?  
  
Andrea: (still chanting 'Haruka')   
  
Scott: That I did, but I also got more than enough of Usagi  
and Mamoru too...  
  
Andrea: ::grimaces:: yea, me too! Having them in one scene is  
too much... ::sighs:: oh! And while you're at it, better add   
Michiru, she hate's being left behind when Ruka-chan goes someplace.   
Eek! And I forgot! If Setsuna's there you better bring her too...   
she's gotten so close to those two, don't you know. ::sighs:: she  
hates being left behind too... unless hotaru's around, and then  
she's usually happy teaching that poor child--I swear, that  
girl has a brain to rival Ami's! ::sighs::   
  
Angie: Did she suggest a PLUTO?! (smoke coming out of ears)  
  
Scott: Uh oh... this isn't good...  
  
Andrea: what? What's wrong with P? ( poor girl seems always  
to get left out… and always misrepresented… ::sighs:: I feel bad  
for her… and annoyed at all the people who try to hook her up  
with Endymion… ::shakes head::   
  
Angie: (In total rant mode) I *hate* Pluto. 'The future is not set  
in stone'. BAH! Haruka and Michiru are the sexy Outers! (pausing)   
However, Hotaru-chan would be nice. Though Scott would call me   
ecchi again. (pouts)  
  
Scott: She's TWELVE!  
  
Andrea: but a very mature twelve… let's face it, having  
the power to destroy life as we know it is a very…  
"needs-to-be-in-the-hands-of-a-mature-person" type of power!  
  
Angie: :P BIIIII You ever seen a 12 year old that looked  
like THAT?!  
  
Andrea: and besides, that's late for today's standards.  
Kids are starting to explore their sexuality at age 8 and 9 now  
::sighs:: how quickly they grow… and she *is* in high school with   
Haruka and Neptune.   
  
Angie: (shaking head) Scott-chan, Scott-chan, Scott-chan. If  
you don't reach for your full ecchi potential you'll never  
be able to--  
  
Scott: I'm not reaching for ANYTHING hentai!  
  
Andrea: (grins)   
  
Angie: (shaking head) He will never master the perv at  
this rate.  
  
Andrea: (still grinning) give him time… (deep throated  
chuckle)   
  
Scott: It scares me how much you're becoming a Havoc  
disciple...  
  
Angie: (eyebrow raising) Do you doubt the power of the  
perv? (snaps fingers) bit drafty there?  
  
Scott: No, but that papaya smell is gone. (pauses) Erp...  
  
Andrea: (still grinning) oh, dear, me… insert sarcasm here   
  
Angie: Speaking of Havoc desciple...(Takes out songbook and  
begins flipping pages) Anyone wanna help me practice?  
  
Scott:(A sweatdrop forms over his head while Andrea simply  
watches) Do I even wanna know what that book is?  
  
Angie: (still searching) "Encyclopedia Hentannica" (Ignoring  
the groans) Oh here it is! (clears throat)  
(SUNG TO THE TUNE OF JINGLE BELLS)  
"Jingle Bras, Jingle Bras, Jiggle all the way! Oh, what fun   
it is to bounce In a Gainax kinda way, hey!"  
  
Scott: (backing away slowly) If any Aika girls show up, I'm  
SO out of here.  
  
Andrea: (puzzled) Urm, its after Christmas...And thats not  
the song *I* remeber...  
  
Angie: (stops and puts book away) True, but its always good  
to reminice on a ecchi-christmas.   
  
Scott: (WAY over on the other side of the room) Andrea, I'd  
step back if I was you.  
  
  
Night had fallen on the beautiful courtyard. The light  
from the tall lampposts reflected in the water of the man made  
lake. Two figures sat on the stone ledge that bordered the lake.  
They talked in hushed voices as they stared at the large marble  
statues that flanked the corners of the courtyard. "What brings  
you here at night?" asked Utena, raising her arms above her head  
to stretch out the kinks.  
  
Andrea: UH… WE SWITCHED FICS HERE, DIDN'T WE?  
  
Scott: Welcome to my world...  
  
Andrea: Eep! But I don't know anything about Utena! I didn't  
even know Utena was a girl until a little bit ago!   
  
Scott: I didn't know that either! Your not knowing that  
resembled my plight, and "welcome to my world" seemed fitting.  
  
Andrea: hmphf! (crosses arms and begins to pout)  
  
"Well, I seem to be having a bit of luck as these aren't  
heeled shoes either..." spoke Scott with a thankfully regular  
pitched though still female voice. He quickly frowned however.  
"But I have no hips, barely any ass to speak of, no discernible  
shoulders..." He grabbed some of his long wet hair with thin  
fingers only now noticing the rose signet ring he wore. "And  
shiny PINK hair?!"  
  
Andrea: OHMIGODS! HE'S BECOMING EFEMINIZED!  
  
Scott: (sitting demurely and speaking softly) That's the third  
time. (flicks his shiny pink Utena hair behind his shoulder)  
What's she mean by that?  
  
Angie: (smiling and nodding) humor the baka, humor the baka...  
  
Andrea: I hope 'baka' is not referring to me.   
  
Angie: Of course not! Thats always scott-chan!  
  
Scott: (hands in lap) Why do you keep saying that?  
  
Andrea: (smiling, crossing legs) he doesn't know what 'baka'  
means, does he? ::grins, leaning closer to Scott-chan)   
  
Angie grinned. "Welcome to Revolutionary Girl Utena,"  
She paused to giggle. "Utena."  
"Utena?" He asked doubtfully. "Don't think I've seen  
that one..."  
  
Andrea: ME NEITHER! ::SNIFF SNIFF::  
  
"I'm not surprised, dub boy." She said teasingly, her  
face the picture of delight. "Oh this is going to be soooo  
much fun!"  
  
Andrea: UH OH…  
  
"Urm, what happens in Utena?" Scott asked, trying to  
cut in on her happy little ranting. "Anything I should worry  
about?"  
"Wellll if I'm not mistaken," she glanced down at  
herself one more time. "this is the episode where Utena duels  
Juri for the Rose Bride."  
"Oh, is that all. Just Utena dueling--" He paused, then  
blinked. "Aren't I Utena?"  
She nodded. One of his pink Utena eyebrows began to  
twitch. "Aren't you Juri?"  
She nodded again, now twirling in a circle, the  
nightgown's bottom fanning out around her. "Doesn't this bother  
you at all?!" He asked exasperated.  
Angie shook her head, the little orange bangs bobbing  
up and down. "Relax, Scott-chan. It'll be over in a few seconds.  
Utena ALWAYS wins her duels." She glanced at the building in the  
distance. "Oooo I bet thats where my room is. I want to take  
a look at all the things Juri has in there." Her hand closed  
around a gold locket and tore it off her neck, placing it in  
her pocket. "As long as *I'm* in her body, there'll be no pity  
parties!" She began to walk to the building.  
"Wait! Angie!" She turned around and gave him an  
impatient look. "Where do I go? What do I do? You can't leave  
me out here."  
She sighed and pointed in the opposite direction.  
"There's a building over there that you sleep in. I'll meet  
up with you early tomorrow. Chu-Chu will show you the way."  
And with that very unhelpful direction giving, she took  
off.  
  
Andrea: CHU-CHU? WHO THE HELL IS CHU-CHU?  
  
"Chu-Chu? Who the hell is Chu-Chu?!" He called to her  
retreating form. No answer. "Great, not only am I stuck here  
alone in Utena AS Utena, but she has the garnet still so I  
can't just leave. Not like she'd let me though now that she's  
Juri, whoever that is..." He sighed, pushing his hair back over  
what was supposed to pass as his shoulder. In doing so he noted  
a strange weight on it. Glancing down he saw a little monkey/mouse  
thing that was just too cute for words.  
"ChuChu!" It proclaimed happily, a big grin on its face.  
"What the-- Get it off! Get it off!" He screeched,  
running in the direction of 'his' room, the little pet holding  
on for dear life.  
Two forest-green orbs watched him take off. Pink light  
sparkled off her earlobes as a dark chuckle escaped her lips.  
"Just you wait Scott. Just you wait..."  
  
Andrea: UH OH  
  
Scott: (freaking out) Hey what the hell is that?! I didn't  
see that before!  
  
Angie: (evil chuckle) Looks like more 'punishment' is on the  
way. Least they weren't pink eyes.  
  
Scott: Oh sure gloat about the fact that your co-author is  
being stalked! @_@  
  
Andrea: :o) I'm sure you'll enjoy every minute of it...  
::frowns:: I hope...   
  
Angie: Hai! He loves punishment! Just yesterday I used the  
whip on his--  
  
Scott: (covering Angie's mouth) Wait a second!  
  
Andrea: O.O? ( oh… really? Hmm… I always liked the  
cat-o-nine-tails better… ::sighs:: they don't make those like  
they used to anymore… ::sighs::  
  
Angie: (mumble mumble mumble)  
  
Scott: (pales) Be glad you didn't understand what she  
said Andrea...  
  
Andrea: (still smiling) I'll find out… in my own way.  
Ne, Angie-chan?   
  
Angie: Hai! (Gets an evil smile) Andrea-chan will just have to  
weasel it out of me somehow. (shoots a pointed look to her tool  
box and shivers)  
  
Scott: (banging his head against a theatre wall in exasperation)   
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
================================================================  
  
Scott: (ringing out his pink Utena hair) Regardless of where  
I am and who I am, I'm just happy to start off clothed this  
time.   
  
Andrea: ::SMILING:: HONESTLY?  
  
Scott: (smoothing jacket almost oblivious to the large breasts)  
I wish she'd just come right out and say what she's implying here...  
  
Angie: (perfect silence)  
  
Scott: (he's just not gonna get it...) What?  
  
Andrea: ::shakes head and begins running water for that shower::   
  
Scott: (filing nails) She's so vague...  
  
Angie: (glows as an idea strikes her) Ne, I wonder if she's  
got any of those massage heads?  
  
Andrea: (still smiling, leaning back in her chair, legs  
still crossed) which ones? The thumb-pads, the fist-feelings,  
the creepy crawlers, the--   
  
Angie: (looking like a pissed off Juri) Hmph.  
  
Scott: (glances at her) Whats wrong with you?  
  
Angie: (Dressed in Juri's school uniform) What do you THINK is  
wrong?! We haven't gotten hardly any mail!   
  
Andrea: UH OH  
  
Scott: (coughs nervously into his slender Utena hand) Well, we  
didn't exactly TELL anyone to write us last time ya know... OR  
even give then our email addresses if they wanted to...  
  
Angie: (screeching) As if that's an excuse! (reaches to her  
die and pulls out a long fencing sword)   
  
Andrea: REACHES TO HER WHAT?  
  
Angie: Urm.. side I think. Stupid fingers were all wore out thanks  
to SOMEONE (extra loud emphasis)  
  
Scott: (turning tomato again) A he he he...  
  
Scott: (BIG sweatdrop) Um...Maybe we should talk about this  
duel thing.  
  
Angie: (holds the sword menacingly out at the audience) Hey you!  
  
Minna: (freezes)  
  
Angie: That's right! All of you reading this! Where's my mail?!  
I want mail damnit! (makes a few clumsy gestures with the sword)  
  
Andrea: BUT I DID! I DID!  
  
Scott: (putting a hand tentivly on her shoulder) M-maybe you  
should calm down a bit...  
  
Andrea: I DON'T THINK--  
  
Angie: (turns to stare at him, nearly slicing him with the sword  
in the process) Be quiet, Scott-chan! I know what I'm doing.  
  
Andrea: Told you.  
  
Scott: (from the ground where he hit the floor) R-r-right...  
  
Angie: (swiveling back to audience) As I was saying before I was  
interrupted: Mail. E-mail. I want it. You will send it. Right???  
  
Andrea: UH HUH…  
  
Minna: (Nodding enthusiastically)  
  
Angie: (rubbing hands together evilly) Exxxcelent. Now, for  
more important matters. (smiles at Scott) Ne, Scott-chan,  
did you ever see the remake of Zorro?  
  
Scott: (nodding while standing) Sure, why do you--Uh oh...  
(starts to run)  
  
Angie: (chasing with sword) Get back here! You must be hot in  
that anyway!  
  
Andrea: UH… JURI… LIKES UTENA?  
  
Angie: Ne, I thought she'd never seen the series. I could go  
into length with this but I won't. Simply put, Angie in  
body = Rule #3  
  
Andrea: ::pouts:: what rule #3?   
  
Scott: Naturally I am the other part of that equation what  
with my being Utena right now.  
  
Andrea: ::sighs:: I still don't get it...   
  
Angie: Oh hurray! A true beginner! Where do I start this lesson?  
  
Scott: (pouts) You can't leave her uncorrupted can you?  
  
Andrea: who said anything about me starting off as 'uncorrupted'?  
I just am naïve about… some things…   
  
Angie: (shaking head) Today IRC chats and SailorMoon fanfic  
authors, tomorrow the world!  
  
Andrea: what? What is wrong with MSN? Jeez… people avoid  
it like the plague it seems… ::sighs::   
  
Scott: Rule 3 scares me considering who I am right now...  
  
Angie: (best teacher voice) Rule #3: Gratuitous lesbian  
orgies in anime do not have to be justified nor explained.   
Theres about 49 other rules that have been written as well. If  
you did your 'Fanboys!' reading as required, you'll know that  
already.  
  
Andrea: 'Fanboys'… chaos's story, right? I'm over there next…  
after the fifty-some-plus emails piling up in my inbox right now…   
  
Scott: (looking at Angie-Juri) She takes pride in her work...  
  
Angie: (smiling) And now I will demonstrate on Scott-chan--  
  
Scott: (backs away but trips over Angie's 'toybox' and knocks  
himself out)  
  
Angie: (rummaging through) Ne, where is that 'scarf'...ooo  
look a big one! (sounds almost like a chainsaw are heard)  
  
Andrea: you know… your 'scarves' sound awfully different  
from the ones I know…   
  
***  
  
Angie: (snickering) Ne, you didn't seem to mind being 'caught'  
a few minutes ago.  
  
Scott: When I was Utena or before I was Utena?  
  
Angie: Stop saying "Oo-tay-nah"! It's "Oot-en-ah!"  
  
Andrea: O.O;; '"Oot-en-ah"'? oiya oiya!   
  
Scott: Yeah yeah like that's going to be important in Chapter 4...  
  
Andrea: Speaking of Chapter 4, let's invite Andrea! (holds  
up garnet)  
  
Andrea: ::wide eyes::   
  
Scott: Oh no you--  
  
Andrea: EEP!!!! ::runs for bathroom and locks the door::  
  
That's when they were hit by the flash of light leaving  
the theater empty...  
  
Suddenly a bright flash of light appears outside a certain  
bathroom door...  
  
Angie: Ne, we already went over this not hiding part!  
(pulls out her handdandy ecchi skeleton key) pantented Havoc(tm).   
Don't leave home without it.  
  
Andrea: (muffled from other side of door) *who*?   
  
Scott: (trying desperatly to hold Angie back) Believe me Andrea,  
you DON'T want to know! (he slips, falling backwards)  
  
The door creaks open, Angie peering through the steam.   
  
Angie: Ne, Andrea-san? We're here to serve you! (holds up  
the garnet) Ready for Haruka-sama?  
  
Andrea: (deep in the steam in towel cowering) Haruka?   
  
Scott enters room, holding head and dazed.   
  
Scott: Angie what are you- (sees Andrea) Run for your life  
Andrea! She has scarves! And she knows where to put them!  
  
Andrea: O.O;; umm… oh… dear… shoot… umm… can we--?   
  
Angie: (evil smile) Oh no you don't! We're all going on  
our feild trip! (raises the garnet)  
  
Andrea: (hopeful) Haruk--  
  
********************************************************  
  
That all lead to this...  
  
When Plutos Attack! - Chapter 3 Outtake  
Written by Emporess, Scott Summerton and yes, Andrea Readwolf  
(Angst88@aol.com, thrawn27@hotmail.com, readwolf@ufl.edu)  
  
Sailor Jupiter leaned over Scott, smiling wryly. A green top  
hat with a four-leaf clover was perched on her head, and in her right  
hand was a large mug. He watched her tip her head back and pour the  
contents down her throat. When she finished she tossed the mug behind  
her, ignoring the sound of ceramic breaking. With agonizing slowness  
she lowered her face to his. The stench of barley filled his nostrills  
almost instantly. "Scott-chan, your not wearing any green. I'm afraid  
this means I'll have to punish you." Emerald eyes flashed  
mischieviously. She reached behind her, never moving her gaze.   
To Scott's dissapointment, Jupiter seemed to fade. Her form  
grew dimmer till it disappeared. He moaned sadly, slowly opening up  
his eyes. "Man, Andrea is gonna laugh her ass off when she hears I  
dreamt about that story I wanted her to wri--" He stopped talking  
in mid-sentance as he took in the scene in front of him, a red flush  
heating his cheeks.  
The -space? Void? Area? it sure as hell wasn't a 'room'-  
place he was in seemed to stretch as far as he could see. Everything  
in it was either a kinky sex toy from the wide open 'toybox' or an  
anime babe which caused him to blush because of the abundance of women  
scattered around him were clad in attire ranging from 'latex fantasy'  
to absolutely nothing. Very abruptly he realized that his Utena body  
seemed clad in one of the latter. Well, naked except for the familiar  
hands groping his chest that is.   
"Must you ALWAYS sleep during the fun stuff, Scott-chan?"  
Angie giggled, rising from her kneeling position and helping him  
stand. "Careful, lotsa bodies scattered about." She was still in  
Jury's body yet unlike him she still had on the appropriate uniform.   
Scott's blue Utena eyes widened as they took in the sheer  
number of girls on the floor. They were all beautiful, though most he  
couldn't identify. To his right he noticed Sailor Mercury, lying  
across a very fit looking female whose red hair was swept into a  
braid. "Doth thou regret coming now?" she whispered into her  
companion's ear.   
"Are they...? From The Crosstime Adventures...?" he began  
in disbelief.  
"Hai!" she smiled, grabbing his hand. "How could we have a  
proper Rule #3 without inviting the only decent Mercury along?"  
Tip-toeing around the mainly unconsious bodies he spyed a  
slightly older looking Sailor Mars, clad only in her gloves and  
heels. She was nestled in an equally old Sailor Moon's lap, a tiara  
that suspiciously resembled the Neo-Queen's crown perched in her  
dark hair. Scott wasn't sure he *wanted* to know who's fic they  
were from.  
What really made him blink was the Hotaru laying on her  
stomach. To his relief she seemed around 16 and not 12. Lazily she  
opened up one eye from her own dreamworld to stare at them while  
they passed, the violet flashing gold for an instant. Angie threw  
her a kiss on the way by. Hotaru smiled, revealing two sharp fangs.  
"You didn't!" he squealed as she pulled him along.  
She shrugged, unconcerned. "Of course I did! I don't see  
why your whining anyway, she was old enough!"  
"But that's from Lord Ch--" he tried to turn around and look  
again but she wouldn't let him. "I thought we were going to Andrea's  
hentai anyway! Where the hell is this?!"  
"We already went to Andrea's." She patted his Utena face's  
cheek affectionately. "You are always so forgetful afterwards."  
She snickered.  
"Coping mechanism I guess, though I would like to be filled  
in later on just what exactly I was doing here and just HOW I ended  
up naked and WHAT it was I slept though and..." he murmured, but she  
didn't seem to hear so he stopped mumbling to himself. "So where  
are we going now?"  
"Back of course. Fun is fun but we do have a schedule to  
keep." She reached in her dimensional pocket and pulled out Utena's  
uniform. "Put this on."  
He did admirably well as it was basically a boy's uniform,  
though his current female anatomy made some parts slightly difficult  
such as the buttons on the coat and what do to with his waist-long  
pink hair stuck in the neck collar. As Angie helped (and snickered)  
he paused. "Wait a minute, what about Andrea?"  
Smiling she pointed ahead of them. There were two familiar  
Outer Senshi, clad in their respective Red Queen and Dominatrix  
modes. Sandwitched between them was a very happy young woman with  
long reddish-brown hair who seemed to have a penchance for silk  
and satin judging from her teal coloured negligee. The 'toybox' was  
nearby, most impressive the Cat 'O Nine that lay across it. The  
nasty eyebrow twitch that Scott had been developing since he awoke  
finally exploded into a full body tremor on his Utena form. "You  
took Andrea to FANBOYS?!"  
"Ne, of course not," she replied, sticking out her tongue  
and indignently combing her fingers through her amazingly still  
well-kept orange Jury hair. "She went by herself for those two  
after her own secret hentai fanfic's Haruka and Michiru got tired."  
"She went by HERSELF?!" he was practically screaming now  
though completely oblivious to his female voice. Another thought  
came to his poor beseiged mind. "Wait, 'her's' got tired? She had  
more than one set?!"  
"Hai! Though before these two she and I went through quite  
a few others as you can see," she gestered to the scattered limbs  
around her. "Ne, she finally settled on those two. You were right  
about her Scott-chan, she's way cool. Really on the way of  
mastering her inner ecchiness."  
In utter disbelief he approached Andrea, trying to be as  
quiet as possible. She opened her hazel-green eyes and stared   
dazedely at him. "Hi Scott," smiled, "or should I say, Utena?"  
"Andrea, are you ok?" Guilt ran through him, since he got  
her in this mess in the first place.  
"Uh huh," she mumured dreamily, smiling like a damn fool.  
"Uhm, are you ready to go?" He asked again, hoping for a  
coherent responce.  
"Nahhhh," she waved a dismissing hand at him. "Think I'll  
stay here awhile." She giggled again, her head lolling back. "Pick   
me up on the way back."  
"But Andrea-" he began to argue, before a shiver passed  
through him. A tickling sensation was moving up his bare legs toward  
his inner thighs. He looked down and saw a glimpse of lilac hair and  
dark skin. The figure looked up and through a pair of glasses he saw  
her green eyes were dark with lust.   
"Utena-sama..." the voice murmured deliciously.  
"Do I know y--?" he started to say before Angie pulled him  
back so fast the other woman fell.  
"Oh no you don't!" she hissed. The garnet appeared instantly  
in her hand. "I *knew* it was a bad idea bringing her here, but after  
reading that 'Scream' fanfic I couldn't resist seeing if the stories  
were true..."  
"'Scream?'" Scott asked in his usual confused voice. "Wait a  
minute, she was wanting 'Utena' there... WHAT did you want to see was  
true?"  
"Don't ask!" admonished Angie.  
"But--? Why's she here?! Is that why I was naked?!? What's  
'Scream?'"  
"Calm down, Scott-chan!" She waved goodbye to Andrea. "Ja,  
Andrea-chan! Keep these bodies hot for me till I get back!" The other  
author would have replied had she not been... otherwise occupied by  
teal-haired senshi at the moment. She probably didn't even hear   
Scott yelling "Come back?!"  
Before you can say, 'ecchi' (no matter how redundant it may be  
to do so by now) the garnet glowed, and Scott and Angie were gone.  
  
And there goes the flash of light--  
  
  
Questions? Comments? Arrows?  
(thrawn27@hotmail.com or Angst88@aol.com)  
  
******************************************************** 


	5. Overture: Thunder and Lightning

Before reading this, I would suggest taking a peak at any of  
the stories on here by the authors. Atleast skim =). This was  
written purely to torture Scott and me on our respective  
b-days :P It has no effect on Fall From Grace or any of  
Scott "Cyclops" Summerton's writings.  
  
If you wish to get *full* enjoyment out of this fic, you'll need a  
wide knowledge of 'Utena' (both the anime http://www.duellists.tj/   
and fanfics http://www.duellists.tj/~utena/prs/fanfic/index.html),   
a dabble of the anime 'Brother, Dear Brother', and the Sailor Moon   
fanfic 'A Big Fat Lemonade' (which can be found at   
http://www.uvm.edu/~vlaporte/lemonade.txt).   
Ahem. I don't expect everyone to do this, but it WOULD help =)  
  
Also we had help from an IRC friend who goes by the handle DarkSong  
(or just DS) who helped out with a few things, most specifically...  
hmm, how to mention it and not spoil it... the trademark Utena-type  
scene that only people who've seen Utena will understand what I mean  
here. (blink) You all confused yet? Good, that means I'm not the  
only one...  
  
The absolute destiny, ecchi apocalypse!   
As always, Sailor Moon ain't mine.  
  
********************************************************  
  
"Wait! Angie!" She turned around and gave him an  
impatient look. "Where do I go? What do I do? You can't leave  
me out here."  
She sighed and pointed in the opposite direction.  
"There's a building over there that you sleep in. I'll meet  
up with you early tomorrow. Chu-Chu will show you the way."  
And with that very unhelpful direction giving, she took  
off.  
"Chu-Chu? Who the hell is Chu-Chu?!" He called to her  
retreating form. No answer. "Great, not only am I stuck here  
alone in Utena AS Utena, but she has the garnet still so I  
can't just leave. Not like she'd let me though now that she's  
Juri, whoever that is..." He sighed, pushing his hair back over  
what was supposed to pass as his shoulder. In doing so he noted  
a strange weight on it. Glancing down he saw a little ratmonkey  
thing that was just too cute for words.  
"ChuChu!" It proclaimed happily, a big grin on its face.  
"What the-- Get it off! Get it off!" He screeched,  
running in the direction of 'his' room, the little pet holding  
on for dear life.  
Two forest-green orbs watched him take off. Pink light  
sparkled off her earlobes as a dark chuckle escaped her lips.  
"Just you wait Scott. Just you wait..."  
  
===============================================================  
  
"When Plutos Attack!"  
By Scott "Cyclops" Summerton and Emporess  
(thrawn27@hotmail.com and Angst88@aol.com)  
  
Chapter Four - "Overture: Thunder and Lightning!"  
  
===============================================================  
  
Things were not going well at Ohtori Academy for   
Scott-chan.  
Utena's room hadn't been too hard to find, once he got  
used to following a rat around. It had been empty, much to  
his relief. He found a note telling him his roomate was staying  
at her brother's for the evening, and would be back the next day.  
That was one less headache to deal with.  
For the first time since the beginings of his travels,  
he was able to relax. The rooms were very nice, the only thing  
throwing him off was the obsessive neatness. Thanks to that it  
was was easy enough to find things though.  
"Stupid Angie keeping the stupid garnet leaving me stuck  
as stupid Utena in this stupid anime..." he mumbled to know one  
in particular. "Probably have to wear a stupid nightgown to bed  
too..."  
Much to his relief he came across Utena's pajamas, a  
rather plain set that only seemed feminine thanks to his body's  
curves. He soon found the curry his roomate had thoughtfully   
provided and promptly reheated it. It would have been a nice  
change from the constant popping in and out of other people's  
beds... if not for the ratmonkey.  
No matter where he went in the suite, or what he was doing,  
always the little creature followed him, munching on something.  
When it wasn't stuffing its face, it would call out "Chu-chu!"  
in the most annoyingly sweet voice he'd ever heard.   
He tried to ignore it at first. Turning on the TV, he'd  
been happy to learn he could understand what it was saying as  
if they'd been speaking english. The only channel that came in  
well was a home shopping network, but that didn't seem to matter.  
Blissfilly he watched the lady try to sell everything from  
dishwashers to some fancy jewelry by 'Dior'. Still, that annoying  
voice had cut in. "Chu-chu!"  
When he switched off the TV, he went to the bookshelf  
and browsed the titles. Again he learned he could understand  
the complicated Kanji. Not much of a selection. Finally he  
settled on 'How to Manipulate Your Superiors Using Your Wiles',  
only a little distracted by the highlighter that had been used  
on the book. Just as he was forming a game plan to use against  
Angie the annoying sounds rang in his ears. "Chu-chu! *munch  
munch* Chu-chu!"  
After glaring at it caused no reaction, he descided  
it was time for sleep. He closed the door and locked it, then  
flopped into the bed closet to the door. Pulling the blanket  
over his Utena form, he looked forward to a night of peace  
and quiet regardless of being a young woman at the time.   
On the edges of sleep he drifted, already imagining  
the Lita from his fanfiction placing her inviting arms around  
him when he was sent spasming off the bed by the cute little  
voice. "Chu-chu! Chu-chu!"  
From his position on the ground he could see the evil  
little beady eyes of the rodent staring at him. They seemed to  
glow with malevolence. "Chu-chu! Chu-chu!"  
"Shut up." he hissed at it. Reaching under the bed  
he pulled out a shoe, tossing it at the creature. He heard  
a satisfying THUNK, and happily he returned to the bed.   
Rolling on to his side, he started to close his eyes. Until  
he noticed the red glow reflecting in the dark. "Chu-chu!   
Chu-chu!"  
"Damnit!" Snatching the ratmonkey by its one hooped  
earring, he lifted it off the floor, running to the window and   
tossing it outside. Even though he slammed it shut fast, he  
heard the creature's cries as it fell.  
With a sigh he lay back down, instantly falling into  
dreams. Very *odd* dreams...  
  
Scott-chan had one feminine hand poised to knock on the  
door he had been told was Juri's. The rodent was happily cooing  
on his shoulder, much to his displeasure. The fall the night  
before obviously hadn't been far enough. Since then he had  
tried to give it a bath (with a toaster oven still plugged in),  
lock it in the freezer (where it just ate all the frozen food  
while iceskating), and trying a bit of 'cross-animation-logic',  
he threw an anvil on top of it. The anvil had ruined the floor,  
yet somehow left the demon unscathed. He was going to have to  
ask Angie what short of a certain mascot-eating-pet could  
dispose of it.  
Before he touched his knuckles to the wood, the  
door was flung open. Out stepped three rather dazed young  
men who looked almost the same, if not for a slight   
difference in hairstyles. Each of their identical green  
uniforms were skewed, buttons missing, collars undone,  
belts unbuckled. They walked right over Utena, knocking   
her down. On the bright side Chu-chu was flung off her  
shoulder and smacked satisfyingly against the wall.  
"Suzuki-kun did you see..." One began.  
"Hai Yamada-kun, and then when she took off   
her..." the other answered.  
"Tanaka is tired." Said the last one in the  
voice of a 4 year old.  
They stumbuled away, ignoring Scott/Utena, whose  
pink eyebrow had formed a very nasty twitch the more he  
listened to their conversation. Finally getting to his  
feet he knocked on the door. As it opened he stepped back,  
afraid of what might pop out.  
To his relief it was only Angie via Juri's body.  
She was wrapped in a white terry cloth robe, her orange  
curls flowing down her back. The robe was belted loosely  
at her waist, causing the V of the neckline to plunge.   
She leaned seductivly against the side of the doorframe,  
long Juri legs open to his appraisal.   
Even though he had seen this before, he still  
paused with an intake of breath. The affect was ruined  
however when she saw who was at the door and frowned.  
"Oh, it's you."  
Taking advantage in her lack of intrest he shook  
free of the spell. "Good to see you too." he murmured  
sarcastically following her inside. Juri's suite was neat  
though not as fanatically clean as Utena's own. The lights  
were dimmed, candles scattered about. "Do I even *want*  
to know what you were doing before I got here?"  
A feral smile that looked entirely foreign to  
Juri's face bloomed. "I doubt it, dub boy. Lets just say  
I'm catching up on your conquests. How was your night?  
Have fun with Chu-chu?"  
Scott groaned, flopping down in the seat oppisite  
his companion. "Of course I didn't have *fun*. Besides  
having this," he gestured to the ugly little ratmonkey who  
perched happily on Juri's coffee table, "to contend with,  
AND going through the morning routines of a teenage female,  
I also had the weirdest hentai dreams..."  
Taking out a nail file and sharpening Juri's wicked  
talons she grinned at him. "Those weren't dreams dub boy."  
"But how--" he started to say before shaking his  
head in condesetion. "Nevermind. I don't want to know. God  
help her then." He glared at the little rodent before  
punting it across the room with his foot.  
"Not bad." She said watching it sail into the  
garbage can. Walking over to the can she flicked the switch  
for 'trash compacter' and smiled as she heard the squishing  
and frantic "Chu-chus" that emerged. "Now *that's* how you  
take care of a kawaii mascot."  
"Oh, really?" he said nonplussed, pointing to her  
right where Chu-chu had located a pile of crackers and sat  
munching them.   
"Damn." Flipping her hair she looked at 'Utena'.  
"Anyway, it was nice talking to you Scott-chan, but I have  
a full schedule today so if you don't mind--"  
"What?!" His Utena voice was etched in shock. "Hold  
it, aren't we gonna discuss this duel thing? I've never  
even *held* a sword before!"  
"It's nothing," she said, snapping her fingers  
to emphasize the point. "No matter HOW bad you are, you  
can't mess up. Trust me. This is Utena's show. You are  
destined to win. All you have to do is pull a sword outta  
the Rose Bride, wave it around at me, and boom! We're outta  
here!"  
"Why can't we just leave now?" He asked, angrily  
combing back his long pink hair. "I dunno how much of this  
world, let alone this body, I can take. Atleast I *knew*  
something about the Scouts."  
"Senshi." She corrected absently. "The garnet is  
busted from all the travel we did last nite." A hungry look  
came to her face. "Besides, I'm not done here yet."  
Getting wearily to his feet he let her shoo him  
out the door. "Oh well, at least it'll be relaxing for a  
while. Boy, that Anthy sure can cook! She's a sweet person  
too."  
Angie/Juri paused in her pushing. One eyebrow  
raised slightly. "What do you mean by 'sweet'?"  
"I dunno, she's really helpful. Like today she  
had breakfast ready when I woke up, and then she helped  
me with my clothes. Real thorough too. I had to stop  
her from stepping in the shower with me beforehand  
though. Must be a Japanese thing... Did you know Utena  
has pink hair down..." He trailed off when he caught the  
glint in Juri's eyes. "What?"  
Grabbing ahold of Utena's shoulders she peered  
down at the younger woman. "You didn't sleep with her  
did you?"  
"What are you talking about? Of course I didn't.  
Of all people I wouldn't expect you to have a problem  
with it."   
She still didn't let him go. "Whatever you do,  
whatever she says, do not, I repeat, *do not* sleep  
with the Rose Bride. You understand?"  
Scott still felt confused. "But why...?"  
"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Angie hissed, harnessing  
the full power of Juri's glacial look behind her.  
"Yes! YES!" He said, eager to escape. When  
she released him he took off through the door, not  
quite fast enough to avoid the little rodent that  
latched on to his arm.  
Angie/Juri leaned against the wall, a little  
shudder going through her. "As long as we avoid   
'Scream'..." She trailed off when she heard the knock  
at the door. Opening it all thought of catastrophe  
was replaced with more happy (or was it hentai?)  
thoughts.   
"Konnichiwa Juri-sempai." Called out 13 year old  
Miki Kaoru. Next to him was his less-than-thrilled twin  
sister Kozue. "We're here. What did you want to talk to  
us about?"  
Juri smiled in a very not Juri leer at the boy  
as she led them both in. "Not much, Miki-chan. I just  
wanted to see if all the rumors were true." As she   
turned to face them she dropped the robe, kicking the  
door shut behind her.  
"S-sempai!" Miki's voice could be heard along  
with Kozue's excited "I knew it!" before the final  
click and turning of the lock.  
  
  
A vast hallway with dozens of chairs sat before  
an elevator. On each were little arrows pointing down to  
the elevator. In a box posted on the wall were a set of  
papers with a sign written in Kanji: 'If you are to be  
interviewed, please fill out this form and wait.'  
On the next to last chair was one of these forms,  
on which was scrawled: Nemuro Memorial Hall Interview   
Application Form. Please answer the following questions:   
Name --- Kino Lita   
Age --- 16   
The elevator Lita was seated in seemed surreal.  
The panels on the walls moved up and down, as well as  
the pictures that were attached to them. It was a   
cramped area, with no room to stretch out. She sat  
pensively on the chair provided for her as the elevator  
began its descent.   
"I've tried to make the best of things," began  
Lita in a nervous voice. "Even though I was too tall,  
even though I got teased alot, I tried to cope. When  
life gave me lemons, I made lemonade. Just when things  
were at their worst I met Serena and the rest of the  
Scouts. We had our ups and downs, but we all got through  
it." Her voice became colder. "Until he started writing  
about me..."  
Mikage's voice urged her on. "Deeper. Go  
deeper." It had an almost hypnotic quality to it. She  
couldn't resist.  
"At first Scott was so kind to me. I thought   
he was kind to me because he fixed a wrong in my life."  
She paused seeming to mule this over. "But he really   
had pity on me for being an easy target." Her voice  
took on an angry rumble. "That's pathetic!"  
Lita felt the momentum in the elevator pick  
up speed, as her feelings tumbled forth from her lips.  
"Now I'm on equal terms with him, her, whatever he is   
now. No, I've won!"   
Ever faster the elevator dove, as Lita   
wrestled with her conscious. "What shall I do? I'm so   
delighted to know my author's secret I almost can't   
bear it!" She put her hands to her head and rubbed  
her temples. "He made me suffer alone, looking at   
my jpeg in secret..." Almost compassionate tones  
entered her voice. "That was Scott? Poor thing!"  
Finally she looked up, her hands clenching  
into fists. "No good! It's still no good! How could   
you look at me like that?!" The elevator lurched to   
a stop, the force so great Lita tumbled out of the   
chair and landed on the ground. "Why did it all turn   
out this way?"  
The door to the elevator opened, a square  
of light shining down on her kneeled form. In the  
frame was a shadowed silohette. "I understand,"  
came Mikage's eeiry whisper. "I suppose you have  
no choice but to revolutionize your fanfic author."  
Lita's eyes moved to take him in, green sparkles  
in a sea of darkness. "The way before you has  
been prepared."  
She raised a hand to him, and walked into  
the light.  
  
Scott as Utena walked down the hallways  
of Ohtori Academy apprehensivly. Knowing very little  
about this series, he was on edge. The damn mascot  
alone was bad enough, let alone running around  
without a clue as to where he should go or what  
he should do.   
Lots of students greeted him, and he had no  
choice but to try and reply. Despite being able to  
read and understand Japanese, he still couldn't  
pronounce any of it correctly. He was still dubboy,  
only with those few fringe benefits.  
At the gym a group of guys tried to get him  
to join in on their basketball game. Luckily they  
accepted his stammered excuses of needing to get to  
class. It might have been true. This blind running  
around thing was getting ridiculous.  
Sighing, he trudged on till he heard voices  
coming from an open doorway. He peaked in, intending  
to ask directions when the site of the room's  
occupants made him pause.  
A man with long thick green hair tied in a  
ponytail and robes was practicing with a sword. The  
man thrusted at the wooden dummy in front of him,  
chopping at arms and legs at random. Sometimes he  
would concentrate on the center of the  
human-shaped-form, shaving wood chips off its chest.  
The only part of the dummy that remained untouched  
was the face, which had a rather handsome red-haired  
man's picture tacked to it.  
"Make a fool out of me, will you Touga?"  
He slashed diagonally across the 'man's' right  
leg. The man's voice was filled with disgust.  
"'Don't look at me so grimly' you said." Another  
rip across the chest. "'Heartless' you called  
me. 'Aren't you my one and only friend?'" His  
voice rose to a hysterical pitch as he brought   
forth the sword in a full arch, stopping bare  
inches from Touga's picture. Breathing heavy, the  
man lowered the sword, and stared into the   
picture's dead eyes. "I'll not be defeated by   
the likes of you!"  
"You fight a losing battle, Saionji."  
A deep, almost sexless voice cut through the man's  
concentration. Scott shifted his eyes to the   
other figure. It had curling pale blonde hair.  
Dressed in a formal men's outfit it held a   
cigarette in one hand, smoke drifting gently to  
the ceiling. In the other the figure played with a  
throwing knife, twisting it rapidly between fingers.  
As he looked on, the person let it fly, watching it  
sail across the room to embed itself in the wall.  
Several holes were already punched in what appeared  
to be the chalk outline of a woman. The holes  
were centered on what would have been her heart.   
"It's not the same!" He hissed at her,  
angirly picking up the sword and sheathing it. "She  
was your lover. He's my rival!"  
Malicious laughter met his protests. The  
person sounded almost drugged, the voice somewhat  
slurred. "Saionji," it began. "denial will only   
take you so far." Anouther knife began to twirl  
idlly in its hand.  
"Rei, my friend," he said, stalking over to  
her. He glared down at the slumped form, staring at  
the dangling cigerette and the empty tablets of pills  
she'd consumed. "Or should I call you  
Saint-Juste-sama?" He paused for a responce but  
recieved none. "Do not compare your situation to  
mine." His tone was cruel. "You are already defeated,  
whereas I have not begun to fight."  
A flick of her wrist sent the knife flying,  
not at the wall but towards Saionji. He dove to the  
floor. When he picked his head up he saw the knife  
had imbedded itself directly in the middle of Touga's  
picture. When he turned back to her, Rei was  
mechanically unwrapping a pill and swallowing it dry.  
"Do not presume so much." She stated.  
"Too weird," Scott thought, choosing this  
moment to get the hell out of there. Whatever was  
going on with those two, was something he didn't  
want to get involved in. Scott-chan had his own  
problems to deal with.  
  
Angie was having the time of her life.  
After her 'chat' with the twins, she'd sent  
them on their way. She was pleased with Miki, and of  
course his sister Kozue had been as good as she expected.  
Fifteen minutes after their departure her new 'playmates'  
had arrived.  
The three girls sat in various levels of undress on  
Juri's bed. Yuuko Oose's reddish hair was plastered to her   
forhead as her friend Wakiya Aiko's hands roved underneath  
her skirt. Angie's attentions were focused on Keiko Sonada,  
the most reluctant of Nanami's three henchwomen. She cupped  
the brown-eyed girl's face in her hands as she leaned forward  
to steal a kiss. "Touga-sama," the girl murmured involentarily,  
as she opened her mouth for Angie's seductions.  
Which were interupted by a loud knocking at the door.  
"Damn," Angie exclaimed as she broke off the kiss. She  
looked into Keiko's dazed eyes as she got off the bed. "Don't  
go anywhere." Sauntering over to the door she threw it open.  
"This had better be really important!"  
Lita stood in the center of the doorway, dressed in a  
variation of a duelist's pink and green uniform. She didn't even  
blink at Juri's naked form. "I'm going to battle for the Rose   
Bride."  
Angie paused, taking in the 'Scout's' glazed eyes. She  
noticed the black rose ring she wore. "Ne, aren't you a few  
episodes early? We're still in the beginning of the series  
here." There was no responce from the semi-consious Lita. She  
sighed. "Besides the only one who can take the sword is a  
person who has strong feelings about the dueler, and I'm *not*  
the one your pissed at. So if you don't mind-" She started  
to close the door.  
A white-gloved hand put a stop to that, flinging it  
open again. Magenta eyes twinkled as a look of pure evil  
fastened on Angie/Juri. "I am SOOOO going to enjoy this," Sailor  
Pluto smiled. She held her Time Staff up, and the orb began to  
glow.  
"Oh fuc-" Was all that Angie was able to say before the  
pink glow of the orb spread to her chest. She bent backwards  
at the waist as the handle of a sword erupted from the upper  
half of her body. Lita took hold of it and pulled it completely  
out of Juri's body.  
A wave of dizzyness struck Angie, and she almost fell  
to the ground. In the anime, when Juri's sword was taken, she  
collapsed. Because Angie's own (fighting spirit?) wasn't what  
the Pluto took, she was able to stay conscious. Sky blue met  
red as their gazes locked.  
"Bitch!" Angie hissed and slammed the door in the  
Pluto's face.  
"N-nani?" Pluto stuttered as she was dragged away by  
Lita.  
"We must talk to the one engaged," Lita told her  
woodenly.  
"But she's not-- I mean she was supposed to-- Damnit!"   
screeched the frustrated Pluto. "One of these days Angie,  
I'm going to get you! I swear I will!"  
Angie grinned as she listened to the Pluto's  
fading rants. "Don't hold your breath Seta! I KNOW it's YOU!"  
She turned away from the door, heading back over to the bed,  
excitement taking hold again. "Sorry about that ladies--" She  
stopped as her mouth gaped open in shock.  
All three of her bedroom companions were passed out.  
Not one twitch, not one fluttering eyelash. Each one was spent  
with totally blissed out looks on their faces. And the reason  
for this was perched casually in the middle of them, hands  
folded behind his head. "Hello Angie-san! Miss me?"  
"What the hell are you doing here?!"  
  
Scott had had enough. He couldn't take it anymore. Not  
for even another second. "The ratmonkey must die!!!"  
After deciding the building was too dangerous a place  
for him to be, he'd gone outside to patrol the grounds of  
the school. But the one-earringed rodent continued to torment  
him. Nothing made it leave, no rebuff, kick, slam, or smack  
was enough to make the message clear. "Can't anybody kill   
this damn thing?!"  
Now Scott-chan had sent alot of wishes to the Gods.  
He'd wished for a decent internet connection. He'd wished for  
his college acceptance letter. He'd wished for a gratuitous   
scene with Makoto (while he was in his own male form of course).  
All these prayers but to no avail. However obviously someone up  
there beyond the sky agreed with him on this point. The  
ratmonkey must die. So it sent its messanger to do the deed.  
A familiar blonde-haired head stuffed in a helmet peaked  
out over a grassy hill. The lithe figure was dressed in full  
camouflage attire. "Charlie's all around me. But they don't  
see me. I'm invisible. They can't hurt me. Charlie. Charlie.  
I'll kill the bastards." The once sane Sailor Uranus murmured  
as she belly crawled across the ground.  
Whoever it was that DID answer Scott's prayer, it had a   
really twisted sense of humor.  
The Haruka seemed to notice the eyebrow twitching  
Scott/Utena then. Flashbacks of muddy swamps and her first  
victory over Setsuna-Charlie with that machete were fresh in  
her mind. She jumped up, catlike reflexes ready to tear down  
the enemy. "GET DOWN! ALL OF YOU! OR I'LL BLOW YOUR HEADS OFF,  
COMMUNIST BASTARDS! WHERE'S THE VIET-KONG?"  
Scott-chan dropped to the ground, barely missing the   
rat-tat-tat of machine gun fire the crazed Uranus shot at him.  
Hands over his ears he closed his eyes and prayed to God that  
whatever fanfic author had created this catastrophe they were  
slowly burning in hell for it.  
The crazed eyes searched the lawn for anouther target  
as Scott-chan moved out of sight. Searching left to right her  
attention locked on a tiny moving target. When she spyed it  
she crawled towards it. "It's Charlie. Must destroy Charlie.  
Vanquish the enemy."  
"Chu-chu?" questioned the innocent yet annoying rodent.  
Reaching into her dimensional pocket, the Senshi of  
the heavens pulled out her talisman. "Prepare to waltz with   
the damned, Commie bastards." With a savage battle cry she   
brought the Space Sword high above her head and slammed it   
down, chopping the kawaii mascot in half. Rays of golden   
light shot out as it finally faded from view, without even  
time for a last "Chu".  
This did not slow down Haruka in the least. Falling back  
into a low crouch she began her search anew. She gave another  
glance at Scott-chan, but seemed to view him as harmless.  
"Idiots. Rice paddy-wading simpletons. They're all secretly  
working for Charlie, though. I'll have to kill them all for  
the sake of the mission. Charlie's got eyes everywhere.  
Watching me. All around. Piercing. My brain. Monitoring my  
brain. Must take out Charlie. Charlie Charlie." Her head  
ticked to her left shoulder a couple of times and her eyebrow  
began twitching uncontrollably as she faded from sight.  
"That--" Scott began, as he blinked, "was probably the   
most fucked up thing I have ever seen." He gave another blink  
and headed back to the building. He doubted ANYTHING could  
top that.  
As he entered the building he felt something slam into  
his back. His thin Utena legs nearly buckled under the weight.  
"Utena-sama!" squealed the delighted voice of Wakaba Shinohara  
as she piggybacked on Scott-chan.  
"Kya! Angie-chan, this is no time to play horsey! I  
can't take those spurs in my--" He glanced back at the brunette.  
"Oops. Your not Angie."  
"Angie?!" asked Wakaba, her voice rising with  
suspicion. "Whose Angie?! You're my Prince, Utena-sama!!!!"  
Wakaba's wails were deafening due to her close proximity to  
his ears. Scott-chan finally broke free of her and made a mad  
dash down the hallway, not noticing the students who were  
fleeing in the opposite direction until they ran over him.  
"Run-away horse!" They called.  
"Horse?!" Scott murmured, trying to wipe a footprint  
off his face. He sat up just in time to see the horse that was  
trotting full gallop. A blonde girl stood paralized in fright  
before the animal. Just before it would have knocked her down  
a small form pushed her out of the way, leaving the path wide  
open to Scott-chan.  
"This is going to hurt, isn't it?" He mused.  
A few horse-hoove prints later he managed to turn  
his head to the blonde girl in the immaculate uniform who  
was fawning over her savior. Nanami Kiryuu's eyes were  
tearing as she stared up at the 11 year old boy. "You  
saved me. How can I ever repay you?"  
The 11 year old smiled back at her. "It was nothing."  
She shook her head. "No, it was wonderful." She  
took his hand. "Mitsuru Tsuwabuki, will you go out with me?"  
The young boy seemed delighted. "Hai!"  
Nanami smiled, grabbing all her books and throwing  
them at him, along with her purse and other belongings.  
Mitsuru was so laden down with stuff the upper half of his  
body couldn't even be seen. "Let's be off then. I don't want  
to be late."  
Scott-chan watched them leave while he peeled himself  
off of the floor. "Ok, I take it back. That *might* be the  
weirdest thing I've ever seen." As if to contradict him he  
heard scattered machine gun fire from far away. Shuddering,  
he caught site of a bulletin board, and a curious note  
that stood out among the other school papers.  
'To the one engaged: I shall wait for you at the  
Duel Arena this evening. -Lita'  
Scott-chan's heart lept up into his throat. "LITA?!"  
was all he managed to squeal before he was frozen in place. The  
lights dimmed behind him. A screen seemed to suddenly appear  
and the darkened form of a girl appeared.  
"Extra! Extra! Extra!" called out C-ko, the shadow  
play girl. "I'm done for! They all found out my secrets!" She  
made a motion of crying into her hands. Then she turned   
around as if she was another person talking to the other as she  
made comforting gestures. "There's nothing to worry about. No  
one thinks of it as embarrassing."  
She turned back around resuming the voice of the  
mortified girl. "Is that so?"  
Again she turned into the wise friend. "Sure it is!  
Everyone wears things like woolen panties."   
But it seems the embarassed girl was not mollified by  
this explanation. "But who would wear three pairs of them?" C-ko   
launched into yet another rant. "So I am done for then. Even  
though I'm considered a fashionable, nice dresser, I'm wearing  
woolen panties! And three pairs, even!" She let out a little  
moan. "I'll never get married this way. What should I do?!"  
Scott as Utena seemed to break his paralysis then,  
ducking 'his' head behind the screen to look at her. "Take  
'em off?" he asked sensibly.  
C-ko screeched. "HENTAI!" Before belting him across the  
face with the feminine garments in question. She then sauntered  
away, lighting a cigarette and mumuring about her contract.  
  
Scott stood awkwardly underneath the floating castle in   
the sky. His ears were still ringing from the theme music that   
had bellowed out at him during the dramatic opening sequence. His   
school uniform was now changed, but for every aspect that had   
become more dignified it had also become more feminine. Shoulder   
tassels and a ruffled skirt complimented a few medals that were   
added to his ample chest with the white rose that had been pinned   
there. To his further dismay he noted Angie was nowhere in sight.  
"This is the end of your tyranny over me Scott Summerton,"   
called out Lita in a monotone as the Rose Bride pinned a pink   
rose on the lapel of her dueling outfit. She made a few impressive  
practice swings with her sword.  
"I am so dead." Scott whispered meekly as Utena. He   
glanced over at the sulking Sailor Pluto. Scott determined that   
she was the Pluto from Angie's fanfiction, since she kept shouting   
"I'll make YOU fall from grace Angie!" as she glared in the  
direction of another building whilst waving both her fists and her  
timestaff all at once.  
Before he could even think of asking what she was doing,   
his attention focused on Anthy. The Rose Bride stood before him,   
making hand gestures towards her chest. "O rose of the noble   
castle," Light began to glow in a orb in the center of her chest.   
"O Power of Dios that slumbers within me," she bent backwards,   
a surprised Scott barely having enough time to catch her in   
'his' arms. "Harken unto thy master and reveal to us..."  
"...the power to revolutionize the world!" Scott heard   
'himself' finish involuntarily, as his waist-long pink Utena   
hair flared up from magical winds. His hands gripped the handle   
of the Sword of Dios that sprouted from Anthy's chest. Pulling   
it from her body he raised it high above his head, repressing   
the urge to shout "For the honor of Greyskull!" in She-Ra   
fashion. He much preferred the He-Man cartoon anyway but since   
he was currently female, She-Ra seemed more fitting. Tingles   
shot up and down his arm as the magical winds died down.  
Anthy moved off to the side and he turned to face his   
opponent. The strange music began again, a throbbing beat   
as out of nowhere, ghostly voices began to sing along.   
"~Nature's light~ ~Mosaic light~ ~Child of daybreak;~ ~the   
angel Lucifer~"  
Their swords clashed, emitting sparks when meeting.   
Scott-chan didn't do so bad considering he had no idea what   
was going on and the music was giving him a massive migraine.   
It was obvious however that Lita had the upper hand in this   
battle. He could barely counter her viscous swipes.  
~Apocalyptic light~ ~Michael's light~ ~Child of   
darkness;~ ~androgynous~ As the soundtrack swirled Lita sent   
a blow that knocked his sword away. He landed on her   
outstretched arm. ~Fire's light~ ~Heavenly light~ With a cruel   
look on her face she sent him sprawling to the ground.  
"Oh look, the poor dear is exhausted already. In fact,  
I'd say you're spent." She sneered, letting him get to his feet  
and retrieve his sword. His chest heaved as he breathed heavily.  
"Pathetic! In all of those stories you wrote, your stamina was  
so much better, too. Come on, you can't just leave me waiting  
like this, Lover. We've barely just begun.."  
"I don't suppose we could just decide this peacefully?"   
He asked hopefully, just barely able to leap back as she came  
at him again. "Guess not!"  
~In the cerebral universe~ ~Shape of floating life~   
~Glory, ephemery, hope for a good fanfic!~ He parried a blow,   
darting away from her when she thought she had him.  
" Well, at least you do recover quickly enough" Lita  
called out, laughing cruelly. "Perhaps this might satisfy me  
after all. But you'll definitely have to try...harder."  
~Incomplete returning to the primitive beginnings.~   
Images of the things she'd had to endure because of the   
fanfic author floated through her head, fueling the burning   
feelings that drove her, to redress the injustices done to her   
again and again. ~Male/female,positive/negative~ ~Up/down,   
left/right~ Pushing closer, she sent him spiraling backwards on   
the defensive, frantically backpedaling to stay on his feet.  
~The center is hollow hollow hollow hollow...~  
With a shriek of triumph, she knocked the sword from  
his hands again, sending him sprawling gracelessly to the ground.   
"This body suits you well, Scott my dear. It's obvious you were  
never man enough for me." She took another step forward,  
regarding him down the length of the cold steel blade. As cold  
as the look in her eyes, he thought. "How does it feel to be  
defeated by the object of your desire, hmm? One last thrust, and  
I'll be FREE! Say goodbye, my dear..." Scott closed his eyes,  
accepting the inevitable death in a foreign body.  
Before she could complete her lunge, a distant shout  
yelling "CATCH!" followed by an as distant scream pierced the  
air. A shadow fell over Lita. She glanced up she just in time  
to meet the body that landed ungracefully atop her, knocking her  
down and shredding the pink rose on her chest. "Impossible!" she  
hissed, screeching in pain as the black rose ring on her finger  
dissolved along with the sword she had acquired.  
Angie in Juri was oblivious to this, standing indignantly   
and waving her fist at a building in the distance. "Damn you I'm   
not a football either!" She looked at Scott's kneeling Utena form   
and glared. "Where were you when I needed you a second ago?"  
"Me?! Where the hell were you?!" He growled getting to   
his feet. Lita simply shook her head dazedly, saying softly "I was   
almost free of him, too. This close, and now back to..."as Seta   
came over and helped her stand.  
"We'll be back Angie and Scott!" The Pluto held up the   
time staff and they both disappeared in a flash of pink light.  
"I'm shaking in my boots!" Angie called to their   
fading forms while sticking her tongue out. "BIIIII!"   
Reaching into her dimensional pocket she pulled out the   
garnet. "Come on Scott-chan, this place is WAY to crowded now."   
"What?" Scott managed to ask before the glow took   
him again. He crossed him arms under his Utena breasts. "Not   
that I'm complaining, but where the hell are we going now?!"  
"Wherever's far away from here!" She stated. A little   
smile tugged at the corners of her Juri lips. "I'll admit it   
wasn't so bad though. At least it wasn't the dub version of   
Utena. The only dub series worse in all of anime is--"  
And with that thought they were gone.  
  
Angie suddenly realized that she was on the phone.  
She also realized she was wearing some rather thick  
clothing, yet still felt rather cold.  
Angie realized she was sick.  
But who was she?  
Before she could figure that out she heard someone  
on the other end of the phone.  
"She's on her way to your place, this is just a  
warning... Be careful Raye"  
"Rei?" Angie did a happy dance. "I'm Rei!"  
"Raye, are you sure you're alright?"  
"Of COURSE I'm alright I can be with Usag--" She  
paused and narrowed her eyes. "Lita?" she asked tentatively.  
"Yeah? *ACHOO!* What is it Raye?"  
She should have been glad it wasn't the Lita from  
Scott's fanfiction and instead was a 'local'. However,  
something more important troubled her...  
"Aw SHIMATTA I'm in the DUB!"  
Lita sounded worried. "Raye? Are you sure you'll  
be ok?"  
"Yeah yeah Mak--Lita, I'll be fine, I--"  
Suddenly a WAY too cheery "HIIIII!" nearly deafened  
both Angie and Lita as Mina entered the Cherry Hill Temple.  
"Hi Raye! I'm here to make you all better!"  
Angie's eyes went swirly. "What are you doing...  
*ACHOO!*" She paused. "Oh kami-sama... I'm in the NURSE  
MINAKO dub episode?!"  
Scott smiled a brilliant smile, for Mina's body was  
currently inhabited by him. "Hi?"  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
================================================================  
  
Scott: (fiddling with the red bow on the top of his head) Angie,  
are you ok?  
  
Angie: I'M IN THE DUB!  
  
Scott: ^_^ GOOD! I know stuff in the dub episodes of Sailor Moon!  
  
Angie: THE DUB.  
  
Scott: However... (runs his hands through his LONG blonde hair)  
I'm not sure if this is an improvement from last time or not.  
(sighs) I can only wonder what you were doing during my duel  
earlier...  
  
Angie: The readers will see soon enough, but more there's  
something MUCH more important to deal with...  
  
Scott: What's that?  
  
Angie: I'M IN THE edited for content SAILOR MOON DUB!  
  
Scott: (wincing) I think it's best we end this here...  
  
Izzy: Are you sure about that Scott-kun?  
  
Scott: (freaking out!) What the--! IZZY? So that's why  
Artemis didn't freak out when I started babbling before  
getting to Raye's... you're in him!  
  
Angie: (oh she's happy now!) Izzy-chan! I'm so happy you  
found us!  
  
Scott: I thought we agreed he WASN'T going to follow us  
from that crossover lemonfic we did with His lordship Chaos!  
  
(looks at the audience as the all simultaneously go "Wha?!")  
  
Scott: So it's not finished or published yet... minor  
details!  
  
Angie: (petting the little white cat) Good Izzy-chan!  
For following us you deserve a treat!  
  
(Izzy smiled an Artemis smile as a horde of chibi-tentacles  
suddenly sprouted from his underbelly!)  
  
Scott: Um, where are you going to get a treat for your  
little tentacle monster mascot that currently in  
for-the-moment-my guardian cat?  
  
(Angie smiled her dubbed Raye smile and grabbed the blonde  
girl by the arms)  
  
Angie: You'll do nicely Scott-chan!  
  
Scott: (o_O)  
  
(Angie then tossed Scott-in-Mina towards the eager tentacles!)  
  
Scott: AHHHHHH!!!  
  
Izzy: Come now 'Mina', it's best I know everything possible  
about my charge don't you think...?  
  
Scott: Bad tentacles... BAD TENTACLES!!!  
  
*********************************************************  
  
I'd like to thank Miss Kitty (mekissa@yahoo.com) for letting me  
borrow her Haruka for such a delightful purpose. I'd also like  
to thank the authors of the Utena fics I metioned (Especially  
Richard Gallivan of 'Scream' even though I didn't ask his   
permission. Hope he doesn't mind ^_^) and Lord Chaos for a nice   
e-mail suggestion.   
-Emporess  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Coming soon whether you like it or not...  
  
Angie: (glares and bares her teeth, showing kawaii little  
fangs) WHOSE UTENA-CHAN?!  
  
Angie: (Whips out her hentai version of Saturn's fuku and twirls  
the glaive, purple battle aura flaring around her) Ok fanboy, you  
and me gonna have to throw down! Otaku Deathmatch! Coming soon to  
a fanfic near you!  
  
(cue the eyecatch)  
  
Angie: (seductively leans against a pillar nearby, as she blows  
a kiss to audience with the other hand) Ne, and if your good I might  
just give you some more fanservice!  
  
Angie: (Holds up a 'sukaafu') Utena-chan, I come anon!  
  
(Juri faces off with Touga. The fact that Angie is in Juri and  
DarkSong is in Touga makes things REAL complicated... especially  
since Scott is still in Utena!)  
  
Scott: o_O  
  
(cue the eyecatch)  
  
WHEN PLUTOS ATTACK! CHAP--  
  
DarkSong: (interrupting) Wait a second! I'm not fighting over him!  
  
Angie: Why don't we just fight over which of us is the OtaQueen?  
  
DarkSong: You mean OtaKing don't you?  
  
Scott: Um, don't I get a say in this?  
  
Angie & DarkSong: NO!  
  
WHEN PLUTOS ATTACK! CHAPTER 4 OUTTAKE...  
  
DarkSong: Besides Scott-kun, you'd only qualify for OtaQueen as  
it stands right now anyway!  
  
...coming soon!  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Questions? Comments? Arrows?  
(thrawn27@hotmail.com or Angst88@aol.com) 


	6. Outake 4-Who Has The Power To Bring Abou...

WHEN PLUTOS ATTACK! CHAPTER 4 OUTTAKE  
  
Angie: Hi hi! It's your friendly neighborhood hentai,  
Angie-chan. (though you worshippers may call me Emporess-sama  
if you wish!) Today's Outtake is a bit stranger than usual.  
(if that's even possible...) Although, as we all know, Fangirls  
usually have their free reign in all fanfiction, we can still  
be defeated. (Unless your facing Anarchy of course. 100%  
Avatars are *not* to be trifled with!) (0.0) As much as it  
pains me to admit, I too can be challenged by an evil  
competitor at times. Low and behold, watch the poor Angie-chan  
battle for her hard-earned ecchiness!  
  
Andrea: (in her negligee from Outtake 3) Angie-chan, you can  
do it! Don't let him stop you! Use the power of the Perv!  
  
Angie: Hai! Nothing stops me! I just keep going, and going,  
and going...  
  
Scott: Don't you mean "coming and coming..."?  
  
(Image of a Super-Deformed Angie-chan with sunglasses and  
'scarves')  
  
Angie: I think I would be a WAY cuter mascot then the Energizer  
Bunny, ne?  
  
Scott: (-_-) The world is doomed to think hentai...  
  
Angie: (holds up her two fingers and flashes a V for Victory  
sign) My ad campaign will be more popular then Budweiser's  
and Microsoft's commercials combined. Viva la hentai! Bring  
on the fanservice!  
  
DS: (grumpily walking into the intro) Damnit, haven't you  
quit with that Eva innuendo yet?  
  
Angie: (still in her bunny outfit) You're one to talk.  
(points at the Evangelions cluttering his desk)  
  
Scott: (blink blink) Hey did you look in his drawers? He has  
a picture of Asuka in here getting-- (o.O)  
  
DS: (GROWL!) Ok that's it! No more Intros! And quit  
molesting my Eva:01 Ecchi-grrl! It's fragile!  
  
Angie: (fiddling with neat little toy) :P Hush your  
Gothship, I know what I'm--  
  
Snap  
  
Angie: (sweatdrop) Aaa... Don't worry DS. I'm sure that arm  
will go rrrrright back on there.  
  
DS: (evil aura erupting) ....  
  
Scott and Angie: Run away! Run away!  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Angie grinned as she listened to the Pluto's fading  
rants. "Don't hold your breath." She turned away from the door,  
heading back over to the bed, excitement taking hold again.  
"Sorry about that ladies--" She stopped as her mouth gaped open  
in shock.  
All three of her bedroom companions were passed out. Not  
one twitch, not one fluttering eyelash. Each one was spent with  
totally blissed out looks on their faces. And the reason for this  
was perched casually in the middle of them, hands folded behind  
his head. "Hello Angie-chan! Miss me?"  
"What the hell are you doing here?!"  
  
****************************************************************  
  
"When Plutos Attack!"  
By Scott "Cyclops" Summerton, Emporess and his  
Gothship, DarkSong  
(thrawn27@hotmail.com, Empores88@hotmail.com,  
darksong@worldserpent.org)  
  
Chapter 4 Outtake: "Who Will Have The True Power To Bring About  
Fanfic Ecchilution?"  
  
****************************************************************  
  
"That's a fine way to greet a friend," the occupant on the  
bed smiled ruefully at her. "Here I make a special trip to check  
on you, and this is the thanks I get?"  
She continued to glare at him. "Check on me huh? Looks more  
like you stole my girlies!" Angie/Juri pointed disdainfully at the  
exhausted locals surrounding him. "They're useless to me now!"  
He let out a long-suffering sigh as he threw his legs over  
the side of the bed and stood. "It's not my fault you couldn't  
entertain them properly. It would have been a crime to leave them  
unfulfilled after all." Flipping his long red hair over his  
shoulder he grinned wolfishly at her. "I'm fairly disappointed  
in you, Ecchi-grrl. Why are you bothering with them when you  
could play with Miki or Kozue... or both?"  
"Been there, done them." She stated, sticking her tongue  
out at him while walking closer. They both seemed unconcerned with  
each others nakedness. "Not only did you ruin my chance with these  
three, but you had to jump into my next one! I was really looking  
forward to Touga too! I thought you were more the 'Saoinji' type."  
"Aw, is Chibi-Angie upset?" The person inhabiting Touga  
sneered while she pouted. "As if I'd really let you run through my  
favorite series without me! Can't let you have all the fun!" His  
expression turned thoughtful. "Which reminds me, where is my Utena?  
I can't wait to play with her!"  
Now it was her turn to laugh. "So sorry DS! Utena at the  
moment is inhabited by Scott-chan. Unless you want to get personal  
with him, I'd say you're out of luck!"  
Touga's chiseled face turned stormy at that piece of  
information. "Damn. Scott-kun would ruin all the good points in  
my feisty girl." He shrugged. "Oh well, plenty of other babes in  
this show. As long as I keep Wakaba and that damn Nanami away,  
I'll be fine."  
"How did you get here DS?! Me and Scott-chan are the only  
ones with the Garnet!" she hissed. "Surely if you had the power  
to jump into Utena, you would have done it a long time ago!"  
DS shook his head at her outburst. "Too true. I would  
have taken advantage of this before now. After you and Scott-kun  
left, we all started looking for you. We knew if we found  
ecchiness, chances were we'd find you."  
"We?!" she screeched.  
"Hai! Lise-chan worked out a little portal into your realm.  
Me, her, Tena--" He paused seeing her eyebrow begin to twitch.  
"What, you don't want the company?"  
"Of course I don't! The last thing I need is a rival when  
I'm trying to get my fan service." She growled, trying to intimidate  
him with Juri's glacial stare.  
He remained unaffected, chuckling amused at her. "You're not  
my rival! You're just a pain in the ass!" Her infuriated expression  
just made him chortle more. "Ne, you even look a little like Lina in  
your normal form."  
The eyebrow twitch turned into a full body tremor as her rage  
increased. "I am NOT Lina Inverse! I am WAY better built then that  
ironing board!" A deadly tone entered her voice. "This show isn't  
big enough for the both of us. I suggest you vacate it till I've had  
my fill."  
"Ho ho! Is that a threat, Angie-chan?" From his superior  
height he studied the younger woman, cupping her chin with one hand  
and turned her head one way, then the other to admire her profile.  
"I'd reconsider that if I were you. Crossing me could be painful,  
little girl."  
"LITTLE GIRL?!" She thundered back at him, slapping his  
hand away. They both stared at each other a moment. 'We're too  
much alike.' was their simultaneous thought.  
"What does that make you, old and moldy?!" She forged  
ahead, not giving him a chance to reply. "That does it. I've  
had it with you! Only one of us is going to have nubile anime  
babes in this fic, and that person is me!"  
"If you insist on not being civil." He snapped his  
fingers, the school uniform appearing on Touga's frame. "I'll  
be waiting at the rooftop, Angie-chan." Evil giggles moved  
through the room as he faded from view.  
"Shimatta!" With a hiss she began searching for her  
discarded clothes. "How in the hell does he do that anyway?"  
After throwing on the proper attire she walked towards the door.  
Her hand closed on the knob but paused there as the little hairs  
on the back of her neck tingled, almost as if she was being  
watched. Turning slowly to the window she faced a gigantic  
yellow eyeball.  
"KYAAAA!" the otaku in Juri shrieked, trying to become  
one with the wall. Unfortunately the Ohtori Uniform did not  
blend well with the wallpapering. The owner of the yellow eye  
blinked and moved back from the window, letting her see more of  
him. "DB-chan!"  
The kawaii 80-ft dragon-beast flashed her a toothy grin,  
revealing his fangs. A low chuckle erupted from his lips causing  
vibrations across the school, wreaking havoc. (Though not  
SUMMONING the fanboy Havoc. Had it, C-ko would not have to worry  
about wearing too many panties EVER again!)  
Angie in Juri hurried over to the window, throwing it  
open. "Ohayo, Sayhaya. Need a lift?" Nodding happily, the  
ecchi-grrl climbed onto the dragon's back. He flapped his wings  
once, lifting them into the air.  
It was a majestic sight, his wings spreading out to full  
size. Angie snuggled into DB's back. "Now, THIS is the way to  
travel. Ne, Db-chan, head over to that rooftop there, where  
the student council meets." She pointed to a building in the  
distance and began to chuckle. "I can't wait till DS sees your  
on my side! HA! I will be the Ota-ecchi-Queen!"  
Db headed to where she pointed. "Sayhaya, you know the  
rules. No outside interference. I can't get in the middle of  
your battle with DarkSong."  
Angie pouted, a look almost alien to Juri's austere face.  
"But Db-chan..."  
"No buts," he said, silencing her. "I'm only here to  
watch. "A match of Anything-Goes-Ecchi-fu is something I just  
couldn't resist..."  
  
At the same time an elevator began to climb up the  
aforementioned building. Three shadowed silhouettes appeared as  
Touga's voice began a monologue. "The world of anime if full of  
gainax waiting to be groped."  
The silhouette on the left wore what appeared to be a  
dress and had a helmet shadow. The silhouette on the right leaned  
against the side of the elevator nonchalantly, looking distinctly  
like Touga. "If the ecchi-grrl is not stopped, she will have all  
the nubile babes."  
The last form seemed to be hanging from the ceiling,  
swinging back and forth from the rafters. A chorus of voices  
joined together as one. "Defeat the Ecchi-Queen! For the  
Ecchilution of the world!"  
With the last phrase the elevator doors swung open to the  
roof where the student council met. There a woman in a familiar  
gold dress sat toying with metal wristbands she was wearing. "So  
you think you can beat her?" She casually pointed her hand at a  
bull's-eye, ending a bright beam of energy to annihilate the  
target.  
"Do you doubt my power, Tena?" He asked arching an eyebrow.  
He stopped and shook his head as she glared at him. "I'm sorry,  
'Galaxia-sama'" he snickered at the glowering fangirl. "And of  
course I can! I've seen the whole series, whereas Angie-san is  
limited to Episode 25, where things just START to get interesting."  
His smile was cruel. "She's screwed."  
"I dunno," she began as she watched him make a few  
impressive practice swipes with his sword. "We've seen evidence  
of her ecchi-fu before." At that they both turned to the still  
open doors of the elevator. A shirtless man with sunglasses held  
to the top, legs dangling beneath him.  
"Hotcha!" exclaimed the fanboy Reikun who now resembled  
Rei-kun of Child's Toy.  
DS and Tena both looked at each other and shook their heads.  
"He's never been the same since 'Death Reborn Ecchilution.' Poor  
Rei-kun."  
The duelist remained unconcerned. "He proves my point. She  
was aiming for me and missed. As long as I dodge that, I'm fine."  
He glanced across the rooftop impatiently. "Where the hell is she,  
anyway?"  
As if on cue the giant flap of wings was heard.  
DarkSong looked to the skies to see the giant reptilian  
shape approaching. "Konnichi-wa, Dragonbeast-sama. It's good to  
see you here, even if you do bear that troublesome little girl on  
your back. I take it you're here to watch the festivities, ne?"  
DB alighted more gently than an 80-foot dragon should have  
had a right to, and extended a wing for Angie to slide down to the  
balcony. As she landed, she reached into a hyperpocket and pulled  
out the Silence Glaive, a sinister look twisting her features.  
"You call me little girl one more time, and I'll blast you clear  
into a Pokemon episode!" She shouted as she brandished her weapon  
menacingly.  
"Oh Angie, you're so cute when you're angry..." DS  
remarked, an infuriating grin filling Touga's features.  
"I'm always kawaii, especially when I'm-- STOP THAT!!!"  
Angie shrieked. "We're here to have a duel to decide who'll get  
to stay here and reap the benefits of all the nubile lovelies here.  
The loser leaves upon conceding the duel. Fair enough?"  
"I have no problem with it, ecchi-grrl. Just as long as  
you're ready to lose gracefully." He smirked. "Oh, and be sure to  
take Scott-kun with you. I want my Utena-chan back." He added.  
"We'll see about that, OLD man." She snarled back.  
"Oh, and you've got that canopener again, I see." He  
sneered. "Why don't you learn to put that thing to a good use,  
like helping Te--er, Galaxia-sama out of that outfit, and into  
something more... comfortable."  
Angie gritted her teeth, trying to keep her temper.  
"Galaxia-sama, would you do us the honor of being the judge for  
this duel?" She shifted her grip on the weapon as not to let her  
opponent see her white knuckles to indicate he was getting to her.  
"I'd be happy to judge this match. Are you ready, Angie?"  
Tena asked.  
"Hai! Let's rock!" Angie replied  
"And are you ready, DS?"  
"Well, since she insists on using THAT," DS said, pointing  
to the canopener in question, "that makes this rather useless." He  
tossed the sword he held in his hand over the ledge, where a couple  
of seconds later a CLANG noise was heard, followed by a "chuuuuuu".  
"No worries, he's an anime mascot - he's indestructible"  
"Now, to summon a suitable weapon to make this a fair  
fight." He held one hand, palm up, at waist level, and a globe of  
blackness the size of a grapefruit coalesced, floating above his  
palm.  
DS grinned, and looked around him, at the expressions of  
the others. "I learned this during that summer vacation I spent  
with in the Guardian Realms with Tiara, the Shamanic Princess.  
She taught me a coupla tricks, and I showed her a few as well."  
He winked at the others. "HOTCHA!"  
Angie snarled. "Any time now, or are you afraid?" A  
snickering was heard from the others.  
"No respect for betters - where is this world going to?"  
DarkSong flipped up the hand the orb was hovering over, and  
grasped it in a claw-like grip, squeezing it. He furrowed his  
brow in concentration, and it lengthened into a metre-long bar of  
blackness. He looked up Angie holding the Silence Glaive, and  
said to himself "Bigger is better." With another convulsive  
squeeze, it lengthened out to 2 metres, where he grasped it like  
a stave and spun it around himself rapidly.  
"NOW, I am ready, Galaxia-sama. We can begin on your  
signal." He said, grinning and showing fangs not normally seen  
on Touga.  
Tena-in-Galaxia strode purposefully between the two Otaku  
and held up a hand. "Then let us--"  
Just then a loud squeal disrupted the group. A still half  
naked Rei-kun was being dragged across the roof by a dust cloud.  
The figure finally stopped and deposited him in the middle of the  
crowd. "Nobody moves until I get an answer!" came the rather  
perturbed prepubescent voice.  
"Oneeii-chan!" yelled Angie, waving happily.  
"Oh shit, just what I need." moaned DS.  
Yes, much to His Gothship's horror, MerliWolf had made  
the scene. Not as MerliWolf however, but as that delightful  
bundle of energy from Kodomo no Omocha--  
"Onee-chan!" cried out Sana-chan, star of Child's Toy,  
before rushing over to hug her. Of course, Sana couldn't do  
this and stand still so they ended up bouncing up and down.  
And since the now ecchified Rei-kun was also in the cuddle with  
them--  
"Gainax! Hotcha!" He proclaimed before copping a feel  
on Angie/Juri's more then ample cleavage.  
"Iie, Rei-kun!" Sana-chan squealed, reaching an even  
higher octave level. Letting go of Juri, she pulled Rei-kun  
away and began pounding him into the concrete floor. "Iie,  
that's not the way my Rei-kun is supposed to act! Iie, iie,  
iie!"  
"Make it stop!" DS hissed, covering his ears with his  
hands.  
Sana got all bambi-eyed as she pulled Rei-kun sporting  
a band-aid over to DS. "But look at him! Sana can't stand seeing  
Rei-kun act like this! Like Hamaya! It's not right! It's not  
natural! It's not-- not--"  
DS took out Mama's Baka Hammer and pummeled the Otaku  
over the head with it. Looking satisfyingly at the crater he had  
created, he shook his head. "Why in the world any guy would want  
to be that hyperactive little menace is--"  
With that the ground underneath him erupted as Sana-chan  
toppled the dark-Otaku to the ground. She/he made a V for  
Victory sign. "Daijobu, Sana-chan is fine!"  
"Like anyone cares..." mumbled DS from his position on  
the ground. He tore at the silly bandaid that sprang up on the  
side of his head and met his arch-nemesis' laughter.  
"Troubles?" she snickered. "How can you expect to defeat  
me when you can't even handle Oneeii-chan?"  
"I can deal with Merli just fine--" He paused in  
mid-sentence and gave her a look of disbelief. "What the hell  
did you just call him?"  
"Oneeii-chan!" Angie replied happily. "Brother/sister  
all in one!"  
By this time, Sana-chan had began to protest ever louder  
about Rei-kun's state. Tena, having had all she could take, put  
a comforting hand around the prepubescent. "Merli, I have a job  
for you."  
"Mmm?" asked Sana, giving a few more dramatic sniffles.  
"What if we let you do the play-by-play for the fight?"  
Seeing Sana's hesitation, she quickly added. "You get a  
microphone..."  
The tears on the little otaku immediately vanished.  
Before anyone knew quite what was happening, Merli-in-Sana had  
set up a boxing ring, complete with stools for the two contenders  
to sit on. Somehow she also produced a table in front, for  
herself. "Sana-chan is SO happy to be here today, announcing the  
most honorable battle of Ecchi-Fu with her two Co-Anchors, ne  
Rei-kun?" She turned to the tied up object of her affections.  
"HOTCHA!" (actually it was more like "GMOTGAS!" thanks  
to the gag...)  
"What about you, DB-chan?" she asked, looking far down  
the table where the 80 foot long dragon was seat-- urm, sprawled.  
"Keep me out of this." He murmured with enough force to  
vibrate the entire roof.  
"Ohhhhhh-k," she stuttered till the table quit moving.  
Without warning she jumped into the ring and took the mic that  
was hanging down. "In the first corner, the Otaku presently  
in Juri, the destroyer of Pluto's psyches, the groper of bosoms,  
able to stick her 'scarves' everywhere, Onee-chan!"  
Angie went to the center of the ring and blew a kiss at  
DB, showing off the robe she now had looped around her shoulders.  
On the back, written in glittering kanji, was the title  
'Ota-Ecchi-Queen.' A fake applause track could be heard in the  
background.  
"And in this corner, the Otaku presently in Touga, the  
Dark Lord of the Perv, notorious for fics like 'La Blue Sakura';  
'Ohtori Security Agency'; 'Legend of the Cutiefiend'; and--"  
"Tena-chan and the Space Octopus!" called out Tena  
happily.  
"I told you Tena, there's no WAY I'm writing that!" DS  
thundered back.  
"Can Sana-chan finish?!" Sana hissed, silencing them  
both. "As Sana-chan was saying, His Royal Gothship, DS!"  
DS walked to the middle, his own black robe showing the  
kanji for 'Ota-Ecchi-King.' He heard the mechanical soundtrack  
of boos and hissing and shrugged it off.  
Tena-chan stepped to the middle of the ring, looking  
fairly ridiculous with a referee's shirt over her Galaxia  
costume. "I want a good, clean match. No hits below the belt,  
no satellite strikes, no ecchilutions, and no--" She glanced at  
DS. "Well, you know you can't use THAT attack in this series."  
DS pouted for an instant. "Oh, c'mon though, it's *so*  
cool--"  
"Nuh-uh," she said, shaking her golden helmet. "You can  
not destroy our favorite series in a gratuitous smiting  
sequence."  
"Hmph," he muttered. Advancing to the middle of the ring  
he waved the super long staff around in an arc and trained it on  
Angie. "Show me what ya got!"  
But before the girl could continue the narrator had to  
pause to collect her thoughts since she had never SEEN Shamanic  
Princess, and had no idea what would happen if she attacked his  
Gothship, who wasn't responding to her in IRC chat.  
Ahem, ok, so I'm admitting weakness as the author  
here... So sue me P.  
  
Scott: Talking to the audience directly is another cop off of  
Chao--  
  
Angie: (hitting Scott with the computer mouse like a bola) You  
mean the author-who-cannot-be-mentioned don't you?  
  
Scott: (blink) Exactly, stealing stuff from Chaos is wro--  
  
Angie: (smacking the dub boy with her keyboard) You just go back  
to writing Chapter 5, k? I'll steal as I please for my part P  
  
Scott: Writing, we're actually in the fic, not writing it...  
but there HAS to be writers if we're characters in a fic... so  
that means WE are the authors, but we're trapped in the fic...  
Wait a second, how can I even be here, I'm supposed to be in  
Utena wandering around the school right now... @_@  
  
DS: (ignoring Scott's descent into insanity) The  
"author-who-cannot-be-mentioned" ? Who's that - Oscar? *cringes  
as the two turn to glare at him* JOKE!!! It's a JOKE! Quit  
throwing stuff at me - OW! Damnit! You know he's right tho,  
Angie. OW! Get back to the story - it'll hurt less. :|  
  
Now where were we? Oh yea, Otaku Deathmatch. ^_^v Cool!  
  
Pressing the Glaive forward, she moved on towards DS.  
Metal hit metal with a clang. DS' superior Touga height gave him  
a bit of an advantage. "You know ecchi-grrl, your not entirely  
unappealing in Juri." He thrust forward, lodging the staff just  
under her neck. "After I defeat you, perhaps we can adjourn to a  
more private location where you can congratulate me-- properly."  
"Might," she grunted, unable to dislodge the big stick.  
The idea of losing to DS, and this early in the fight disgusted  
her. Twisting the handle of her Glaive around, she pried the  
staff away from her neck, somersaulting backwards out of  
Touga/DS' reach.  
"Admirable move, Ecchi-grrl, but I think you broke your  
can opener." He chuckled and pointed to the two halves of the  
once intact weapon.  
"My glaive-chan!" Angie called out forlornly, hugging  
the dismembered pieces to her chest. She opened her Ecchi-space  
pocket, tucking them in for re-assembling later. Her eyes  
focused on the snide smile of her opponent. "That's it, no more  
Miss Nice Fangirl."  
She reached down the front of Juri's uniform to pull out  
what resembled a Senshi communicator. Pressing the button, she  
paused and stared out at DarkSong evilly. "They'll be here in  
a moment."  
"Who?" he asked warily.  
"You'll see..." she murmured.  
  
Her Ladyship Readwolf walked the halls of the convention  
center, her glee written all over her face. So far, she had  
managed to pick up nearly everyone on her list. The only one  
she was missing was--  
"Quatre-kun!" she waved happily, when spotting his  
cherub form signing autographs. Advancing through the crowd,  
she grabbed the resistant pilot and pulled him away. "I'm so  
happy to find you! The others are waiting!"  
"Others?" he asked, trying to keep his arm attached to  
his shoulder as she tugged him away. "What do you mean by  
'others'??"  
She gave him a wink. "Oh, come on now, surely you've  
heard of the Yaoi harem I've cooked up! I sent invitations out  
to all of you."  
Aware of her intentions, he tried to pull back, unable  
to escape her grip. "Y-y-yaoi--" he stuttered.  
"Don't play dumb with me! Everyone knows about you  
pilots!" She overrode his objections with a wave of her hand.  
"This Mecha2000 con was the perfect place to round you all up."  
"You got them all?" he asked in denial.  
"Well, Heero put up a bit of a scuffle," she huffed.  
"Seems he has a 'mission' or something to complete. But with  
Duo and Zechs there to 'persuade' him..."  
"B-but I-- I mean I'm not--" he protested weakly.  
Andrea's reply was cut off by a beeping at her waist.  
Glancing down she checked the number of her Ecchi-cater.  
"Angie-chan is dueling again. What a time to be calling me."  
She paused, undecided on how to handle the situation. On one  
hand she was so close to completing her collection. On the  
other she had her obligation as a Fangirl to consider.  
Stuck in this reverie, she didn't notice Quatre sneak  
out of her grip. Not until she went to squeeze his hand, and  
noticed how different it felt. Sort of slippery. Kind of  
like a-- fin?!  
Clutched to her hand was not the 14 year old wet dream,  
but a penguin. EVA's mascot focused its beady eyes on her.  
"SQUAWK!"  
"Damnit! I *knew* I should have brought Trowa with me  
for this! I'll have my inverse rule #3 yet!" She swiftly  
punted Pen Pen out of the way and looked for the blonde-haired  
pilot. Angie was just going to have to wait...  
  
Somewhere in the suburbs of Chicago, Sailor Moon fanfic  
author Kate B. was busy doodling in her notebook. The picture  
she was working on had the body of a Pokemon. The face  
resembled that of a young man the author's age, and was wearing  
a mask and cape. She penciled in the words "Tuxedo Bri-achu" to  
complete the drawing with a satisfied smile. Just then she  
noticed the beeping noise.  
"Jo'o-sama is in trouble!" she cried out purposefully.  
Jumping from her bed into the closet, she emerged seconds later  
complete in a satin teddy with a cape. She turned to the orange  
and white cat curled up on the floor. "Watch the fort Orb, I'm  
off to help the cause of ecchi!"  
The cat opened one eye carefully. "Just be sure not to  
bring back anymore recruits for the Beastiality Corps. You  
remember what happened last time."  
The chibi-otaku rolled her eyes. "It's not like Trowa's  
lion actually DIGESTED you. He spit you out after a few bites!"  
Not allowing the cat a chance to retort, she disappeared in a  
puff of illogic.  
  
Angie had held off DS so far by throwing a barrage of  
'scarves' at his direction. Now the vibrating contraptions were  
batted away by his HT field, causing no damage, but they did  
keep him busy. "You are SUCH a copy cat." She scolded him,  
watching the last of them bounce away.  
"What do you mean?" He asked arching an eyebrow. He  
gestured to the shield he had thrown around himself. "I've  
ALWAYS used a Hentai Terror field. Besides, you're the one who  
started this series to begin with, so technically, you're the  
thief. I'm simply trying to consolidate my claim as the most  
ecchi."  
Purple light cut off her reply. In the center of the  
arena appeared SuperKate, upside down and floating in the air.  
"I'm here, Emporess-sama!" She tried to push the cape out of  
her face so she could take in her mentor.  
"Hime-chan, get down from there!" Angie pulled her  
over to her corner, causing the Otaku to discover gravity  
and fall to the floor. "This is a serious fight and I need  
your help!"  
"I'm on it, your majesty!" She murmured, trying to  
get the stars that had appeared out of her vision. "How can  
I help?"  
The Ecchi-grrl pointed to His Gothship, currently  
reclining in his corner and getting a rub down from Shiori.  
You see him, Hime-chan? That is our mortal enemy in all  
things ecchi."  
SuperKate gasped. "DarkSong?!"  
Angie nodded. "We have the chance to stop him in  
his tracks once and for all!"  
"Alright! I've been waiting a long time to smite  
something!" SuperKate stated, making a fist and pumping it  
in the air. "I'm finally gonna put my troops to good use."  
Angie made a face and shook her head. "Not a  
chance! There is NO way I'm going to win a battle using  
your Beastiality Corps!" she shuddered. "Besides, I told  
you to disband those!"  
The chibi-otaku crossed her arms over her chest and  
pouted. "But they're so cute! I've got all the Pokemon,  
P-chan from Ranma, cat girl Nuku-Nuke, and... Mokona..."  
her eyes got dreamy as she began to murmur, "Puuu...  
Puuuuuuuu..."  
Juri's body took on some disgusted spasms. "If I  
ever find where you keep those, I'm bringing Rampage to a  
feast. Did you bring that bag I told you to keep for me?"  
"Hai!" SuperKate reached down her teddy and began  
pulling out different objects. "Let's see, copy of National  
Ecchi-graphic, collar, Pikachu, Relena fanclub card... Hey!  
I found my Ecchi-O's! Did you eat breakfast yet Jo'o-sama?"  
"Never mind that!" her mentor roared.  
"Are you sure? They're chockfull of lemon  
freshness!" SuperKate asked, waving the box in her hands.  
"I'll take some Hime-chan!" DS called out to her.  
"Coming at ya," she said, tossing him a bowl.  
"Don't forget, they're extra creamy in milk!" She dug  
deeper down her cleavage, until locating the black leather  
bag.  
"Heya toots!" DS leered, looking up from his  
Ecchi-O's. "What else you got down there? Can I see? Hotcha!"  
SuperKate shook her head, laughing to herself and opening the  
bag, she took out the contents, a lone binder with red lettering.  
"When Plutos Attack! author notes..." she read, gasping. "Am I  
even allowed to be looking at these?"  
"Hai, hai, they're Scott's notes, not mine." She gave  
the girl a V-sign. "He thinks we have a semblance of 'plot'  
going on. Baka." She gestured for the girl to open it up.  
"You've gotta find an attack in there that I can use against His  
Gothship."  
SuperKate started leafing through the clutter of notes.  
"Mmmm, did you try the ecchilution yet?"  
Angie shook her head and pointed at Rei-kun, who was  
hopping after Tena, trying to get the Galaxia suit off of her.  
"No good. Besides, the glaive got split. What else do ya got."  
"Welllll..." she trailed off, reading a line for an  
upcoming scene. "Scott's going to be pregnant in WHO?!" she  
cried out.  
Angie sighed. "We cut that chapter, since we don't know  
Sean. Keep looking!" She watched Sana and DS, who had been  
revitalized by the Ecchi-O's, start to karaoke to the song Junk  
Boy. (Can't touch you, Junky Junk Boy! ^^).  
"Wait, here's something," she cried, pointing at the  
scribbles. "Since you cut the Gaffney chapter with Scott as a  
pregnant Hotaru and you doing some weird stuff with pudding and  
a crown (o_O) you told DS he could write Chapter 6."  
"We did?!" Angie squealed, looking into the notebook.  
"Great, I can just imagine what evil he's going to put us  
through..."  
"Most of it seems to be secret even from Scott..." Kate  
stated. "But, DS had to tell Scott to add something to Chapter  
5 to foreshadow 6, so you can use that against him now!"  
Juri/Angie blinked at SuperKate. "I don't think you  
made ONE bit of sense. What is it?!"  
SuperKate leaned over to whisper in Angie's ear.  
Juri's eyes grew wide with delight. She stood up straighter  
and gave the Hime-chan a little grope. "Good job, Hime-chan!  
Remind me to Treat you later!"  
She advanced purposefully to DS, who handed Sana back  
his/her mic. "Are you finally ready to admit defeat,  
Ecchi-grrl?"  
"Not quite." she purred, adding a little wiggle to  
her steps. Stopping just in front of him, she ran a hand  
down the front of her uniform, unbuttoning one at a time.  
"You know, even I have to admire the way you've mastered the  
power of the Perv."  
"Really?" he asked, watching the uniform jacket slip  
off her shoulders. His grip on his big-ass-staff (no, not  
that one, you hentais! :P) lessened as he let his guard down.  
"In fact," she whispered, "I just realized how silly  
it is for us to be fighting. Imagine what we could do if we  
worked together!"  
"Perhaps we should-- consummate--" he grinned  
lustfully at her, "our relationship." He put the two meter  
long stick aside, seeing no reason to hold the weapon when he  
could be groping-- well-- you know.  
Her smile grew slightly darker as she saw him drop  
the staff. "There's just one thing, DS-sama," she murmured  
before looking up at him.  
"Yyyyyes?" he asked, drawing the word out slowly.  
She stepped back a few inches and said "Baka!" With  
that she closed her eyes, and before DS could even think of  
throwing up the HT field, Angie did her new Urd transformation,  
splitting into five super-deformed versions of herself-- well  
of Juri anyway.  
"What the hell is THIS??!?" he asked, while being  
dog-piled on by the Chibi-Juris. "You can't do an Urd  
transformation! The Fanboys already have one!" He glanced  
around. "Tena should be objecting to this! Where the hell is  
she?!"  
SuperKate spotted the ref on the side of the ring,  
knee-deep in Sailor Moon plushies. Sana looked up and winked  
at Kate, who winked back. DS groaned miserably at he stared  
at the rugrat bouncing up on his chest. "Damn your toy fetish  
Tena-chan!"  
"But their just so kawaii!" she pouted to his Gothship.  
"Toy-chans?!" squealed four of the five chibi-Juris as  
they jumped off DarkSong and ran out of the ring to the plushie  
pile.  
"Get back here, you bakas!" shrieked the remaining  
chibi-Juri on DS' chest. He sat up and glared at her. She  
gave a nervous laugh. "Ah ha ha... couldn't we, um, talk  
about this?" she asked, sprouting innocent kitty ears and a  
tail.  
"Oh, when I get done with you," he stated, reaching for  
his staff, "I don't think you'll be doing much talking--"  
"EEP!" she cried, trying to squirm out of his grip.  
"What's that?" a voice rumbled, quaking the whole rooftop.  
Everyone turned to DB, then looked where he had been  
pointing. They took in the tiny figures at the dueling arena in  
the distance.  
Tena put on opera glasses and peered out. "Looks like  
Scott-kun is battling his fanfic character for the Rose Bride."  
She watched a bit longer and chuckled. "He's getting his ass  
kicked, too."  
One of the Chibi-Juri's snatched the opera glasses away  
from Tena. "He sure is! Hey... wait a minute... he's fighting  
Lita! And who's that person waving her arms?" The chibi-Juri  
made a face. "Oh, it's just Seta-chan. Psycho-Pluto!"  
"Hotcha!" called out two of the SD Angies as Tena picked  
them up by the scruffs of their uniforms. One had the otaku's  
Galaxia outfit, the other held a 'scarf' ready for use. Kate was  
fighting off the 3rd one as it tried to -ahem- her! The fourth  
cuddled in DB's lap-chan.  
The one on DS' chest looked unhappily at the chaos. "This  
is no good. If Scott-chan loses the duel, then Utena won't have  
the Rose Bride. It'll screw up the whole series!"  
DS nodded in agreement. "There's only one thing to do." He  
motioned to Sana to grab the chibi-Juris. Kate held her's at arm  
length as she brought it forward.  
"Is that all of them?" he asked, holding the one from his  
chest. He looked around, noting Tena using the still tied-up  
Rei-kun for target practice.  
"And now to get them all back together - and I know JUST  
how to make that happen, too." DS said with an evil grin. Taking  
his staff by one end, he snapped his fingers, and watched as it  
shrank and drooped, turning into a black leather whip. He snapped  
it once, with a resounding CRACK, and turned to look at the group  
of chibi-Juri-Angies. "So, have we been a BAD ecchi-grrl, Angie?"  
"Punishment-chan!"  
"Punishment-chan!"  
"Me first!"  
"No, ME first, you baka!"  
"Um..."  
A dust cloud rose as the group of chibi-sex maniacs fought  
over who was going to get to 'play' first.  
DS cleared his throat loudly, and the dust settled to  
reveal a pileup of little chibi-Juris in various states of dishevel  
clothing and hair. "You've only been bad enough for ONE of you to  
be disciplined, so you had best make up your mind who gets to enjoy  
the special treatment." He cracked the whip once more, to drive  
home his intention, and settled his hands on his hips to wait,  
tapping a foot.  
All five of them moaned "Not fair," (four wanted to be  
punished solo, one didn't but will be included anyway now), and  
then the same identical expression came on all their faces at once.  
Grinning happily, they all closed their eyes and adopted looks of  
intense concentration. With a sudden POP sound, the five merged  
into one full-size Juri-Angie.  
The now re-combined Angie shook her head dizzily. "Whoa,  
what a rush! I know what it's like to grope that many people at  
once now! So, I've been a good bad Ecchi-girl... do I get my  
punishment-chan now?" she said, looking up at Touga-DS with puppy  
eyes.  
DarkSong stepped forward, and with a quick snap of the  
whip, Angie found her wrists bound together in front of her. As  
he stopped in front of her, and took her chin in a hand, she  
closed her eyes with a sharp intake of breath and a little shiver.  
"As much fun as this little encounter would be, and as much a  
shame it is that we couldn't finish the duel Ecchi-grrl, it  
looks like YOU have a job to do."  
As he let go her chin and stepped away, the realization  
of what she just hear hit. She snapped her eyes open. "DS?  
Hime-chan? What the hell is going on?"  
"What the hell are you doing?" she yelled, making frantic  
motions with her arms. "Hime-chan stop him!"   
"Sorry, Emporess-sama, but the fate of a series is at  
stake here," SuperKate called out remorsefully as she caressed a  
Neptune plushie.  
"Bye Bye Onee-chan!" Sana waved happily, ignoring the  
frying of her pimp in the background.  
"CATCH!" DS called out to Scott hoping to get his  
attention. Releasing her hands from the whip with a quick flick,  
he gave Angie a look of pure mischief. "DILL BRAND!!" he shouted,  
and the resulting explosion sent Angie sailing waaaay up into the  
sky towards the two duelists.  
DarkSong and SuperKate watched the commotion on the arena  
platform until both the otaku disappeared. "There go the Toxic  
Twins!" DS quipped, turning to Kate.  
"Hai, and just in time! I still have to finish my  
homework!" Her eyes looked a bit distant. "And a Mokona who  
needs a workout... Mmm, Puu...." She gave His Gothship a short  
curtsey before disappearing in another puff of illogic.  
DS snapped his own fingers, leaving the target practice  
and DB's snoring behind him. He appeared in Touga's room at the  
Kiryu residence and rubbed his hands together. "Finally, free  
to pursue my Utena-chan without interruption!"  
He paused at a knock on the door. A head of golden curls  
and watery blue eyes popped her head into the door. "Onii-sama,  
I read the note you sent me."  
Touga/DS' right eyebrow began to twitch. "Note?? What  
note?"  
"You know," she said, stepping into the room and shutting  
the door behind her. Nanami removed her robe, revealing her  
naked form to him. She grinned ferally then. "So will you show  
me the true power of ecchilution?"  
DS' eyes popped out of his head as she advanced on him.  
His fingers kept snapping futilely, trying to whisk himself out  
of the evil Nanami's clutches, but nothing worked. Backed into  
a corner finally he let out a hiss as she sank him down into the  
carpet.  
"I'll survive this incest," he thought to himself in pure  
rage. "When I do, I'm going to find Angie, and so help me..."  
But that's a story for another time...  
  
Angie: After all, he's writing Chapter 6, not THIS Outtake! ^_^v  
  
================================================================  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
DS: Thank kami-sama this is FINALLY over with. If I had to look  
at this much longer, I would have gone as noisily and messily  
insane.  
  
Angie: Stick a scarf in it, it's done-chan! (snickers) Just  
like you, ne DS? ^^  
  
Scott: (trying to figure out the logic of the whole thing, only  
now also thumbing through the Author's Notes binder) But the  
plotline, we had it all worked out! What do we do now?!  
  
DS: (glares at Angie) Oh thank you for that oh so wonderful  
moment with Nanami. All I've got to say is this: I'm writing  
Chapter 6. Expect a payback. (grins evilly)  
  
Scott: After everything I've been through, (puts away the  
binder) and everything I'll be through, I'm not worried. ^_^  
  
Angie: You're not writing it you baka, he is! Remember?  
  
Scott: (blink)  
  
Angie: And he's so much DARKER than I am at thinking up good  
stuff to have happen to you, Scott-chan!  
  
DS: (^_^)  
  
Scott: (O_O)  
  
****************************************************************  
Questions? Comments? Arrows?  
(thrawn27@hotmail.com, emporess88@hotmail.com, or  
darksong@worldserpent.org)  
Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/~Thrawn27/plutosatt.html  
and http://www.geocities.com/emporess888/plutos.htm for charecter  
profiles and other fun info.  
Also see carnage.fanfic.org for Chaos' Curse Of The Fanboys!  
  



	7. Blondage

Before reading this, I would suggest taking a peak at any of  
the stories on here by the authors. Atleast skim. =) This was  
written purely to torture Scott and I on our respective b-days  
:P It has no effect on Fall From Grace or any of Scott  
"Cyclops" Summerton's writings.  
  
Hold on to your subtitles, it's dub time!  
As always, Sailor Moon ain't mine.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Angie suddenly realized that she was on the phone.  
She also realized she was wearing some rather thick  
clothing, yet still felt rather cold.  
Angie realized she was sick.  
But who was she?  
Before she could figure that out she heard someone  
on the other end of the phone.  
"She's on her way to your place, this is just a  
warning... Be careful Raye"  
"Rei?" Angie did a happy dance. "I'm Rei!"  
"Raye, are you sure you're alright?"  
"Of COURSE I'm alright I can be with Usag--" She  
paused and narrowed her eyes. "Lita?" she asked tentatively.  
"Yeah? *ACHOO!* What is it Raye?"  
She should have been glad it wasn't the Lita from  
Scott's fanfiction and instead was a 'local'. However,  
something more important troubled her...  
"Aw SHIMATTA I'm in the DUB!"  
Lita sounded worried. "Raye? Are you sure you'll  
be ok?"  
"Yeah yeah Mak--Lita, I'll be fine, I--"  
Suddenly a WAY too cheery "HIIIII!" nearly deafened  
both Angie and Lita as Mina entered the Cherry Hill Temple.  
"Hi Raye! I'm here to make you all better!"  
Angie's eyes went swirly. "What are you doing...  
*ACHOO!*" She paused. "Oh kami-sama... I'm in the NURSE  
MINAKO dub episode?!"  
Scott smiled a brilliant smile, for Mina's body was  
currently inhabited by him. "Hi?"  
  
===============================================================  
  
"When Plutos Attack!"  
By Scott "Cyclops" Summerton and Emporess with His  
Gothship DarkSong  
(thrawn27@hotmail.com, emporess88@hotmail.com,  
darksong@worldserpent.org)  
  
Chapter Five - "Blondage"  
  
===============================================================  
  
"You're filling out that sweater rather nicely  
Scott-chan..."  
Scott looked down at the green sweater and frowned.  
Though he was happy there was that large red bow on the top  
of his head keeping all that blonde hair behind him, Mina's  
bangs still hung over his big blue eyes. Of course there were  
the two large protrusions clearly visible in the sweater  
proving he was again stuck as a female, that is if the little  
pleated orange skirt and shoes that strangely resembled those  
of Sailor Venus didn't. The little white knee-high socks,  
all too-purple winter coat and big red scarf tied around his  
neck only emphasized the fact.  
However, he wasn't stuck in an anime he didn't know  
this time. This time he was in the Sailor Moon dub, and he  
was very happy about that.  
Angie wasn't however.  
Not only was she trapped in the Sailor Moon dub, but  
she was trapped within the 'Nurse Venus' episode, completely  
ruining her fun within her bedridden Raye Hino body.  
She smiled when Artemis hopped onto the bed though.  
"Good Izzy-chan! I'm so happy you found us!"  
"I still can't believe you have a tentacle monster..."  
"A KAWAII tentacle monster-chan!" corrected Angie.  
Scott continued undaunted. "...as a pet. How did he  
even get here from 'Pretty Fly (For A Hentai)' anyway?"  
"None of the anime or fanfics we've been too so far  
had mascots for Izzy-chan to hop into until Artemis here  
in this one."  
"Um, what about Chu-Chu in Utena?"  
Izzy merely glared at him, which would have looked  
rather strange to the Sailor Scouts of this world since it  
appeared to be Artemis glaring almost hatefully at Mina.  
He turned back to Angie and chirped a distasteful noise.  
"Squick."  
Scott's blue Mina eyes boggled. "What the heck was  
that?"  
"Izzy-chan's kawaii mascot noise!" cheered Angie  
gleefully. "His first one too!" she added proudly.  
"But I thought he talked normally when we saw him in  
'Pretty Fly'..."  
Angie would have patted Scott atop his blonde-haired  
head if she wasn't as ill as her borrowed body. "Don't stress  
your dub-brain Scott-chan. He only speaks like that around us.  
When he's near others he only says "squick"-chans!"  
"But why didn't he talk normally just now?"  
"Because we aren't alone Minak-- er, Mina."  
Scott blinked. "Wha--?" Then he suddenly realized  
two hands groping his ample chest, and they weren't Angie's  
hands this time.  
Scott spun around to see Raye's grandfather in all his  
glory. "You pervert!" he shouted pushing him out of the room.  
He readjusted his sweater... and bra.  
Angie looked mildly surprised. "I didn't think he was  
that blatant in the dub..."  
"Maybe we had something to do with it just by being  
here..." began Scott until he suddenly paused and pointed to  
Izzy. "Hey, isn't he supposed to be in this basket?" he asked  
as he held it up.  
Angie looked forlornly at him. "You really ARE a  
dub-boy if you know the episode off by heart." She paused and  
watched him set the basket down and take off the purple coat,  
then smirked. "Well, still a dub-'girl' that is."  
Scott frowned again. "Isn't the episode relatively  
the same subbed though? AND one of your favourites at that?"  
Angie nonchalantly waved him off. "That's not the  
point now is it?" She then looked at him expectantly.  
"Well? Shouldn't you be off making me my porridge?  
Scott blinked. "I thought it was supposed to be soup?"  
Angie shrugged. "Either or, you're supposed to be  
taking care of me!" She gave the V salute which looked  
somewhat ridiculous coming from Raye Hino. "Hop to it,  
V-chan!"  
  
Upon returning Scott had managed to find his way  
around the place and scramble together ingredients for the  
soup. Angie took a big spoonful into her mouth...  
...and began to blow flames on the frantic Scott.  
He quickly handed her some water. Milk would have  
been a better choice but he IS only a dub-boy remember. "Are  
you OK?"  
She downed the glass in one gulp. "Yeah, but it's  
only supposed to be too salty, what happened?"  
"This is the dub. It's spicy soup here, not salty  
porridge." He began to reach for the bowl. "I'll take it  
away..."  
"NO!" she shrieked. "If you do that you spill it all  
over me and knock me off the bed on the process! It's fine  
where it is for now."  
Scott shrugged. "OK, but it's not my fault, it's  
Mina's."  
"But you ARE Mina, Scott-chan."  
"I'm trying to ignore that fact for the moment..."  
"Yare yare, just get on with the episode and put on  
the sea tape."  
Scott's eyes ballooned as he fished the cassette from  
a skirt pocket. "'Sounds Of The Sea'?"  
She shrugged. "It's close enough to 'Alpha-Waves' for  
me."  
The blonde girl slumped. "But this is gonna hurt a LOT."  
Angie's eyes narrowed. "Do it, blondie."  
After the ensuing ruckus and explosion, Scott collapsed  
onto the bed in an attempt to avoid any and all technology to  
prevent further disasters.  
"Scott-chan? I know something you could do that would  
be safe." She smirked. "Lotsa fun too."  
He turned to face her, absently brushing the long hair  
from his face as he did. "Hmm?"  
"It's kinda personal..." stated Angie glancing at the  
open door.  
Scott was curious. He quickly closed the door and  
turned back to the bed. "What did you want me to do?"  
"Wear the nurse outfit."  
"Uh, are you sure I should do that this soon in the  
epi--"  
He was suddenly interrupted as Angie grabbed the neck  
of his sweater with both hands and pulled his face close to  
hers. "Wear it, Scott. Wear it NOW." she demanded.  
Scott's golden Mina eyebrows shot up when he noticed  
the lust in her borrowed voice as it was practically dripping  
with it. Any interest was killed completely however when  
Angie's nose began to drip as well.  
Scott meekly held a box towards Angie. "Tissue?"  
Though the reaction was surprising, it was still  
similar enough to the original scream of the episode to cause  
Scott to quickly flee from Raye's and head on to Serena's in  
an (vain?) attempt to continue the plotline.  
Surprisingly Izzy quickly followed in his little  
white cat body...  
  
"Are you sure about that Raye? I know she's a klutz  
but she's not THAT bad is she?"  
After nodding and making affirmative tones on the  
phone a couple times, Serena's eyes abruptly boggled.  
"Put WHAT in WHERE with WHO?!" Suddenly a high  
pitched wail cut through the air. "I gotta go Raye..."  
A look of extreme curiosity crossed her face as did a sly  
smile. "But I'll definitely be talking to you about that  
and those later..."  
As she thought, the little spore had gotten into  
trouble again, this time losing a freshly washed sheet over  
the balcony to the street below.  
Whether or not Rini almost fell two stories down  
along with it isn't as important since she unfortunately  
didn't loose grip of the railing.  
After a brief arguement between Serena and Rini and  
the leaving of Serena's mother Irene due to a headache, a new  
voice shouted up from the street below.  
"Um, I'm a little tangled up here... wait a sec...  
a ha! Here we go... no wait... almost... there!"  
And with that, Mina cast the sheet aside and leaped to  
the second story balcony with a single bound.  
The blonde pointed at both Serena and Rini. "I'm  
here to help you get better Serena!"  
Serena's stunned expression was almost equal to that  
of Scott's, which he was thankfully able to keep hidden.  
"How the hell did I make that jump?" he thought. "And talk  
about corny speeches!"  
"Uh, Mina, I'm fine, really..." Before she could  
continue Serena suddenly broke into a minor coughing fit.  
"Nope, you're going to bed right this instant!"  
One blonde girl began to shove the other inside the with the  
little pink-haired one trailing behind them. "And don't  
worry Serena, I'll take care of Rini..." Once inside Scott  
mumbled under his breath in as sinister a tone as Mina could  
muster, which ended up quite pathetic. "I'll take care of  
her alright..."  
"SQUICK!"  
"AAAAAHHHHH!"  
As the little black streak zoomed by and was chased  
by a little white streak, Serena looked dumbstruck. "I  
thought Luna was feeling really sick too..."  
Scott put one hand behind his head and giggled.  
"Izz--Ah, Artemis is always good at keeping her on her toes  
isn't he!" Scott continued to shove Serena into her room.  
"Now you lie down and I'll be right back to keep you well!"  
As he left the room he mumbled "Or something like that..."  
"Here Mina! Wear this!"  
Scott just stared at Rini's cheerful face...  
...and the tight little nurse dress she held out  
towards him.  
As he took the outfit in two slender hands, Scott  
shook his head and sighed. "The things I do for story  
continuity..."  
After much struggling, near falls and impressive  
acrobatics, Scott had somehow managed to fit his Mina body  
into the so-snug-it's-too-tight one-piece nurse's dress.  
Scott cheered upon realizing that Rini lacked the foresight  
to include a set of high heels which would have been all-too  
appropriate. "At least my luck is holding out in that  
regard." he said whilest donning a pair of fluffy slippers  
instead.  
Scott proceeded to make a fool of himself in front  
of Serena (as if there was any doubt he wouldn't) which  
resulted in him renacting most of the episode's events and  
leading to his falling down the stairs to do chores for  
Serena's mother. He was more than eager to oblige since it  
allowed him to remove the nurse's outfit and put on Mina's  
regular clothes.  
Doing the dishes and failing. Doing the laundry  
and failing. Vaccuming and failing. All more than just  
failed attempts at cleaning, but also failed attempts at  
eliminating Rini once and for all. Whether or not Serena  
eventually fainted because she was ill or because she  
caught Scott trying to axe the spore is up for debate.  
After helping Serena to her bedroom, Scott  
suddenly heard a faint beeping noise. He made sure Rini  
was inside the room as well and closed the door behind her  
while remaining out in the hall. After rummaging in a  
skirt pocket he retrieved the culprit: a Scout  
communicator. Fumbling to press the tiny buttons with  
elegant fingernails, it took Scott forever to activate the  
little device. When he finally succeeded he didn't notice  
that the Angie (wearing the face of Raye Hino) was staring  
at him when he said...  
"Ow! I broke a nail!"  
The little image of Raye blinked. "That's not  
exactly what I was hoping to hear Scott-ch-- er, Mina."  
Scott stuck out his tongue at the small screen.  
"Hi Ang-- uh, Raye." This time Scott blinked. "Why are  
you contacting me?"  
"I got tired of waiting for you so I got everybody  
together already!"  
Scott balked at the screen. "You what?!"  
Angie remained indignant. "I gathered everyone up  
and we're already at the hospital waiting for you!"  
"You shouldn't go changing things like that! What  
if you just changed an entire actual episode of Sailor  
Moon?!" He paused in thought for a second. "Did we alter  
that Utena episode too?"  
"Who cares?" She smirked. "The Sailor Moon one is  
only a dub episode and Utena is so whacked no one will  
notice anyway." She smirked. "So when are you guys getting  
here?"  
Scott frowned. "If you think I'm bringing Rini  
along you can just forget about that."  
"Didn't you JUST say we shouldn't change the epi--"  
"This is different." interrupted Scott. "Spore bad.  
Plus Serena JUST fainted and won't wake up for a while."  
She sighed. "Alright alright, just get here soon  
ok? I wanna leave here!"  
Scott nodded and deactivated the communicator,  
breaking another nail in the process. With closed eyes  
and clenched teeth he muttered "On my way..."  
  
Angie stood outside the entrance to the hospital  
lobby. With her were Lita (last name never revealed) and  
Amy (Anderson? no one really knows...), both as snuggled  
into thick clothes as she was.  
Though her borrowed body was Japanese and somewhat  
accustomed to snowy winters, Angie's still an Atlanta native,  
and the fact that there was snow around was having a profound  
psychological effect on the girl...  
She made snow angel-chans!  
Of course that was after she pelted passers-by with  
snowballs and built a family of ecchitomically correct  
snowpeople.  
Naturally Scott missed all of this as Angie stopped  
before he caught her in the act. Huffing and puffing, Mina  
joined the group.  
"Where's Serena?" asked a confused Lita.  
"Uh, she had a fainting spell and is sleeping it off  
now." replied Scott. "Rini's with her, they'll be by later  
I think."  
"Um, I sense some... what they hell were they  
called... uh, nasty vibes! That's it, from the Dark Moon,  
or is it Black Moon? Then there's the Dark Hedge, and the  
Gate Of Darkness, or Dark Gate... ah the hell with it!"  
With that Angie raised her transformation wand and  
shouted "Mars Star Power, Make-U-- YAAAAH!!!"  
Momentarily forgetting she was in the dub Angie  
proceeded to shout nearly the entire Japanese henshin phrase  
when the "Make-Up!" part was unecessary. Because of this she  
was taken aback when suddenly surrounded by flames initiating  
her transformation sequence into Sailor Mars.  
Scott fared better as he simply shouted "VENUS STAR  
POWER!" at the top of his lungs much like the dub characters  
normally do. He wasn't prepared for the transformation itself  
however, comprising of a nekkid flash coupled with ribbons of  
stars flying all over the place.  
When all was said and done, the four Sailor Scouts  
stood staring into the reflective glass of the doors. Scott  
stared at his features as he placed a hand on the glass for  
balance from the sight. The glamour effect had taken the  
Love Scout's already incredible beauty and enhanced it  
exponentially, assisted of course by the golden tiara  
perched on his forehead which he traced with a finger.  
The 'glamour effect' of the Sailors was truly that.  
The Sailor suit itself wasn't all that different  
from what he'd already worn as Miyuki-chan, save the snug  
white bodice of course, and the skirt resembled what Mina  
had been wearing previously anyway.  
Regardless, he ended up ultimately staring  
absolutely dumbstruck at a slender gloved hand.  
"Holy cow... I'm actually a Sailor Scout..." He  
blinked. "How am I expected to fight evil all dolled up  
like this?"  
Now done thoroughly, and we mean -thoroughly- here  
people, examining her own transformed Scout body, Angie  
came up beside him. "Holy... -cow?-"  
Scott shrugged. "I guess I can't swear... it IS  
the dub you know."  
"But I can, see?" stated Angie as she proceeded to  
prattle off a startling number of expletives.  
"Drats! That's not fair! Why can't I?" pouted the  
blonde Scout.  
"Because you're a dubbie." replied the Fire Scout  
as Scott facefaulted.  
As he stood up he glanced downward. "Wow, nice  
legs..."  
Angie blushed. "Why thank you, Scott-chan!"  
Scott thrust out one of his own long Mina legs and  
posed. "Actually I meant my own..."  
The resulting smack nearly knocked the red bow and  
tiara right off of his head, and as he tried to keep his  
balance he began to stumble backwards. Thankfully he was  
caught by Sailor Jupiter who helped him stay upright.  
"Venus, are you ok?" she asked.  
Scott looked at his feet and groaned. They had  
finally appeared. What he had evaded from anime to fanfic  
to anime had finally caught up with him. His luck had run  
out.  
Heels.  
Little itty-bitty orangy-gold high heels.  
Yes the heels themselves were somwehat wide and only  
about an inch or two high, but there was no doubt in Scott's  
mind. He had to wear heels as Sailor Venus.  
"I guess it's a small price to pay if I get Scout  
powers, which is better than I had as Utena..." He took a  
tentative step then looked down at his feet again. "Stupid  
heels with stupid ankle-band things..." he mumbled as he  
watched Angie walk towards the door in her own red heels.  
"I can't see how you can walk in those things."  
Angie glowed. "What? My Mars 'fuck-me' pumps?  
It's real simple! See, you just--"  
She teetered...  
"WhoaAAAAAH!!"  
...then fell over.  
Scott signed as he watched Angie pick up the garnet  
which she had just dropped, then helped her back to her feet.  
"What did I write for 'Divided Destiny' again? Oh yeah,  
'heel toe, heel toe...'"  
Angie merely stated that she 'wasn't going to fall  
over anymore because of the fuck-me pumps' and that was that.  
As Scott somehow struggled his way through the  
entranceway with Angie expertly prancing behind him, Sailors  
Mercury and Jupiter merely shared a wide-eyed glance and  
simultaneously said "Huh?" before following on inside  
themselves.  
  
Sneaking their way through the halls meant walking on  
tip-toes to avoid the clicking of heels giving off sound,  
temporarily allowing Scott to somewhat keep his balance for  
more than three seconds at a time. The four girls whispered  
a battle plan as they headed towards the enemy's suspected  
location.  
"It's Esmeraldo alright, and she has..." Angie  
paused in mock concentration. "Her henchmonster is called  
Pharmako, and she shoots giant needles from one arm and has  
a big scalpel for the other arm."  
Sailor Jupiter was impressed. "Wow Mars, your psychic  
readings really improved all of a sudden!"  
Angie put a hand behind her head and giggled softly.  
"I'm just that good I suppose!"  
Suddenly Angie DID have to pause in thought however,  
as her dub body actually began to detect the enemy. "Come  
on you buffet tabl-- I MEAN guys, it's over this way."  
Scott joined Angie in the lead. "Um, are you sure  
this is a good idea? Sneak attacking the enemy when we  
don't even know what using Scout powers will feel like?"  
"Don't worry about it, V-chan! You get to jump up on  
the ledge and distract them while we take them out from below!"  
Scott stopped dead in his tracks. "I'm going to  
what?!"  
"You remember, ne? You're up on that little beam  
balancing as you give a little speech."  
"Sounds risky, but Venus DOES have the best balance  
of the four of us." Sailor Jupiter looked warily at Scott  
swaying slightly as he walked. "Well, usually anyway."  
"I agree." stated Sailor Mercury. "A diversionary  
tactic would help us dispose of this medical waste product  
more efficiently than a full frontal assault."  
Angie groaned. "I was hoping we'd avoid that  
line..." She stopped abruptly. "Anyway, we're here! Up you  
go Venus!" she stated with a grin.  
Scott glanced upwards at the tiny beam. "I just KNOW  
I'm going to fall off..." he thought while leaping into the  
air. Amazingly he landed gracefully and by standing on his  
toes he kept decent balance.  
That was when Rini showed up.  
It was a necessary evil however, as it drew out  
Emerald and her henchwench into the open. Scott started  
to ramble.  
"Hold it right there! I if you think you can get  
away with making people sick, think again! I'm Sailor  
Venus! And in the name of Venus, I'll punish you!"  
Emerald glared upward at him. "You bothersome  
Sailor brat! Have you also known of our plan to spread a  
dangerous flu virus throughout the city from this very  
hospital?"  
Angie stepped out into view. "Are you going to give  
away the WHOLE plot for this episode or what?"  
Emerald's response was to simply laugh.  
Angie's eyes widened. "OH NO! We'll have none of  
that while I'M around!"  
Before she could do anything however, Emerald  
summoned her henchwench. "Injector, destroy them!"  
As Sailor Jupiter ducked the huge giant needle fired  
towards them she asked Angie "I thought its name was  
Pharmako..."  
Doing the same Angie groaned. "Don't worry about  
that now, just get her!"  
Scott however lept into the air and fired off an  
attack by shouting "Venus Crescent Beam SMASH!" before  
diving to avoid being slashed by Injector's giant scalpel  
arm.  
Somewhat instinctively Scott landed and thrust his  
arm upward while yelling "Venus Love Chain Encircle!" He  
smiled widely when the impressive looking move worked and he  
snared the monster's arm. It didn't last however as he had  
to dodge quickly to avoid yet another giant needle.  
As he flew through the air Scott marvelled at the  
thrill of being in possession of such an athletic and agile  
body, the exhilarating feeling of casting such magical  
power from his very fingertips...  
...and the sheer embarassment of being pinned to  
the wall by giant needles in some fanboy's fetish fantasy.  
His reaction was to scream.  
Really REALLY loud.  
Distracted by the sonic wail, Angie and the other  
Scouts didn't notice Injector turn her attention towards  
Rini. As the little pink-haired girl screamed at a needle  
barreling towards her, Scott swore he heard Angie cheering.  
Sure he and millions of others were as well, but  
that's not the point...  
Naturally the cheers turned to boos when a rose  
darted forth and shattered the needle against the ground.  
Tuxedo Mask, cape fluttering somewhat dramatically  
in the air conditioner-generated wind, stepped forward and  
began to open his mouth...  
...only to be shoved through a closed door buy a  
VERY irate Sailor Mars!  
"Stupid baka Tuxedo Dork Boy!" she roared as she  
slammed the door closed behind her. "If you think I'm  
gonna let you say one of your horrible speeches after  
pulling that little stunt then forget about it!"  
"Um, Mars? Why did you just do that?" asked a  
new voice.  
Angie turned to great her. Sailor Moon had  
FINALLY arrived. "Um... I slipped?"  
"Guys... HELP!!"  
Everyone spun to face Scott as Injector was  
apparantly making the most of (yet) another distraction.  
Injector fired a giant needle at him instead since Tuxedo  
Mask was now absent!  
Jupiter lept into action firing a "Jupiter  
Thunderclap Zap!" destroying the needle and Mercury  
following her lead with "Mercury Bubbles... Blast!"  
creating a thick covering of fog blinding the bad guys.  
Next up was Mars. With a huge smile on her face  
Angie turned to Injector, started the motions, then shouted  
"Buurningu Mandalaaa!"  
And nothing happened.  
She grumbled "Stupid dub..." before trying again...  
"Mars... celestial... fire... c'mon-this-is-  
taking-forever... surround!"  
As the flames hit Injector, Sailor Moon stepped  
forward to finish her off only to collapse suddenly.  
At that very moment, Tuxedo Mask reentered the  
hallway to deliver his motivational speech, but Angie  
instinctively slammed him into the wall before he could  
utter a word.  
When Sailor Moon didn't move, Angie realized that  
it was Tux's motivation that got her going again. Tux  
wasn't going to be saying anything for the next little  
while. From the way she shoved him he'll still be able to  
eat solid food when he comes to if he's lucky.  
So Angie improvised. Kneeling in front of Sailor  
Moon she cupped her face and got close enough to the girl  
so that she could feel Mars' breath on her neck.  
"Beat this monster and tonight we'll do what I  
talked about on the phone earlier..." as she flicked Sailor  
Moon's earlobe with her tongue.  
Serena snapped to. "Him too?"  
Angie's grin was deadly. "But of course..."  
Sailor Moon beamed. "Thanks Mars!"  
Scott, though happy things were progressing towards  
his being saved, still ended up with eyes the size of  
dinner plates from their dialogue exchange.  
Regardless, the end result was the same... for the  
most part that is.  
After Sailor Moon destroyed Injector by casting her  
"Moon Scepter Activation" on her, Scott was still Sailor  
Venus and still pinned to the wall. The reason they had  
forgotten him this time was the different part.  
Angie was trying to get Sailor Moon to run off with  
her.  
Upon seeing Tuxedo Mask get to his feet yet again,  
Angie went to him to apologize. However, Sailor Moon got  
there first and turned to face her. "Raye, why are you  
always so mean to me and Darien?"  
Angie never missed a beat. "I'm sorry Usa-- er,  
Serena." She took Sailor Moon into her arms and kissed her.  
Deeply.  
She broke the kiss. "Let me make it up to you."  
Sailor Moon, though starry eyed, had one concern.  
"But what about Darien?"  
"Mam-- Darien is a loser! Run off with me!" She  
then scooped the girl up into her arms and began to walk off.  
Scott merely balked at the events unfolding before  
him. "Oh lord..."  
Angie suddenly paused in midstride, then leered at  
Tux. "Demo... if he wants to JOIN us..."  
"Dear god it's her hentaific all over again!" That  
was Scott again.  
Angie shouted to him. "It's 'Kami-sama' damn you!"  
Scott merely smiled smugly, as possible as he could  
given his predicament that is. "Not here it ain't."  
"I wonder what you'd look like Fireball Charged?"  
Cape-Boy was still a little afraid he'd be eating more  
wall if he accepted that offer however, and had began to run  
off thanks to the distraction. Angie chased right after him.  
She had forgotten what episode she was in, however, for as she  
ran Sailor Moon began to droop lower and lower in her arms.  
"Maybe we should wait until I'm healthy first..."  
Scott remained indignant. Sailor Venus, pinned  
helplessly to the wall, shouted "Get back here! If I could  
get free I'd..."  
"SQUICK!"  
He blinked. "What the--?!"  
What had caught his attention wasn't anyone coming to  
free him, as a matter of fact it was the exact reason WHY  
neither Mercury nor Jupiter were doing so.  
Izzy.  
Let the tentacle hentai commence!  
"Oh... my god." stated Scott as both the brunette  
and blue-haired girl were completely into what the neko-tentacle  
monster was doing to, with, for, around, because of, etc. etc.  
Suddenly he noticed one of Izzy's tentacles slithering  
from his little cat body towards his position against the wall.  
Needless to say, Scott freaked.  
"STRAY TENTACLE! STRAY TENTACLE!! BAD THING!!!"  
Angie and her party had disappeared however while  
Jupiter and Mercury were oblivious to his plight, and pretty  
much everything else for that matter.  
Izzy, able to speak normally because of that, did.  
"Don't worry Scott-kun! Just relax and enjoy it..."  
Scott winced as it began to wind up his bare right leg  
like a vine. He began to feel light-headed as it snaked its way  
under his skirt. He promptly began to see spots and bright  
colours filling his vision. Struggling, (in every meaning of  
the word) the last words he was able to say before passing out  
were "I sure hope that this bodice holds out..."  
  
The next thing Scott felt was a cold sensation, yet he  
was bundled in warm blankets. All of a sudden he sneezed.  
"Oh really Scott-kun you got that all in my fur!"  
Scott sat up and blinked. "Artemis?" He then noticed  
the blonde hair hanging in front of his face. "Oh yeah..."  
When he noticed the little tentacles coming from the cat's  
underbelly he then grabbed the blankets and pulled them over  
himself whilest shrieking as only Mina can. "IZZY!"  
Izzy sighed. "Don't worry, I didn't do anything to  
you while you were unconscious."  
Scott, though immensely relieved, was surprised. "You  
didn't?"  
Izzy looked at him with a pained look. "Really now, I  
may be a tentacle monster but I DO have standards." He paused  
in thought. "Well, at least preferences, and I prefer my  
playthings awake, otherwise it's no fun."  
Scott stared in disbelief. "You're Angie's pet  
alright..." He looked around. "Where's Luna at anyway?"  
Izzy grinned a very appropriate chesire grin. "She's  
been taken care of."  
Before he could comment the door slid open and in  
walked Serena clad in the same nurse outfit from before, and  
Rini. Scott had expected this of course, but the sight of  
Darien and Raye (Angie!) following in behind them was a  
surprise.  
Scott looked to Angie, who was smiling brilliantly, and  
sighed. "So... Ready?"  
Angie nodded. "Yep!" Just then Serena grabbed her hand.  
Their eyes met and the blonde spoke. "I'll never forget  
you."  
Behind her, Darien placed his hands on Angie's shoulders.  
"Neither will I."  
Scott simply blinked.  
Angie turned to Darien. "Remember what I said: Corner  
her in the bath." She then gave a V for Victory sign. "Believe  
me it'll work!"  
Scott smiled smugly. "At least I had the Japanese  
versions."  
And with that, Angie willed the garnet into her hand  
from subspace and they were swallowed up in a brilliant flash  
of white...  
  
It was a scenic view, no one could deny that. Small  
pools scattered about the rural landscape as if ripped right  
out of an artbook, or at least off a wallscroll.  
Though for all it's glory, Scott and Angie were still  
stumped by the small wooden sign in front of them.  
"That LOOKS like Japanese, but I can't read it..."  
stated Angie. "Where's a Japanese version?"  
Scott looked at it warily. "I think it's Chinese  
actually."  
Angie looked hopeful. "So you know what it says?"  
Scott frowned. "Not a clue."  
Brushing aside the sweatdrop Angie looked at Scott  
once more. He was wearing loose black pants, an equally loose  
shirt or oriental design, and of course, female anatomy topped  
off by a crop of red hair tied back into a ponytail.  
Actually it was more along the lines of a pigtail...  
Scott frowned. He'd been doing that since they  
arrived. "I KNOW we're in Ranma 1/2, and I KNOW that I'm  
Ranma-chan right now, and if that sign is Chinese then I know  
where we are too."  
"Really?" asked Angie. "I don't like Ranma so you're  
going to have to be the expert Scott-chan."  
Scott's eyes widened. "I haven't actually SEEN any  
Ranma though Angie..."  
"Dub-boy no baka..." she grumbled. "Well, can you at  
least tell me who I am?"  
"Akane I think."  
"What's she do?"  
"From what I know? Beat up Ranma a lot."  
She grinned. "That could prove promising..."  
"Actually, I think we should leave here as soon as  
possible?"  
Angie blinked. "How come?"  
"Well, the garnet may be powerful, but if I'm right  
even it won't free us from Jusenkyo curses."  
Angie paled. "You don't mean...?"  
Scott nodded solemnly. "Yep. Those."  
"That seals it. We're leaving NOW."  
Upon seeing the garnet Scott lunged for it. "NO! I  
want to pick where we go next!"  
Angie bopped him on the head. This normally would have  
created a simple fall to the ground, but in the Ranma 1/2  
universe it created a sizable impact crater with Scott's  
twitching Ranma-chan feet sticking up out of the dirt.  
"Though I could get to used to anything goes martial  
arts ecchi-fu-chan, I want out of Ranma 1/2 as soon as  
possible." She raised the garnet. "And Scott-chan, the only  
way you get to use the garnet is through me..."  
That's when the white hit them...  
  
Scott blinked. The garnet was right there, sitting in  
his hand.  
Only it wasn't his hand.  
It was Angie's.  
"I'm you, and you're me?" asked Scott.  
"This is too weird..."  
"I hope we don't get stuck in this one as each other  
because as much as I dislike being stalked by Lita, I really  
don't want to be associated with your fanfic's crazy Pluto."  
Angie glared. "Well, neither do I."  
Scott looked at her emphatically. "Trust me, I REALLY  
really really don't want to ne involved with that whacked out  
Pluto."  
Angie was deadpan personified. "You underestimate how  
much I dislike Pluto."  
Scott rolled his eyes. "Boo."  
Both of them blinked.  
Hard.  
Angie snatched up the garnet. "We leave NOW."  
Scott sighed as he plomped unceremoniously to the  
ground. "I just want to go somewhere where I can rest for a  
little bit."  
Angie looked somewhat sympathetic. "OK, you want  
to rest, then we'll find somewhere to--"  
And the white emerged once more...  
  
The whip flew out and ensnared itself around her right  
wrist, making her swordarm immobile and causing her to drop her  
blade. Within the blink of an eye multiple chains and flails  
wrapped themselves around her thighs, midsection and waist plus  
binding her wrists all to the large tree.  
Pirotess had caught Deedlit.  
The dark elf spoke. "I wondered what sort of challenge  
a high elf would present."  
Deedlit answered her. "So what do you want, peasant?"  
Pirotess grinned smugly. "Your reputation as a stuck up  
princess seems quite well deserved."  
The first of the purple clad vilainess' associates spoke  
up. "We should report to Wagnard immediately."  
She answered him. "No. We'll meet up at Fire Dragon  
Mountain."  
The other associate took his turn. "But what about the  
consequences?"  
Her alluring victory smile was her only answer.  
The blonde high elf was looking rather disappointed with  
herself for being caught however, until two daggers suddenly  
impaled themselves into the bark on both sides of her face. She  
glared at her captors.  
With an outstretched hand and eyes closed the purple  
clad dark elf began an incantation. "I summon the powers of  
darkness to do my bidding. Come to me. Drain the power of my  
captive so that I may fulfill my mission."  
Deedlit's head sullened.  
"Sleep my prisoner." Pirotess said. "Sleep..."  
As she fell under the spell, the dark elves got closer  
and Pirotess leaned in...  
...and the scene was hit by a bright flash of light.  
Angie suddently realized she was looking into the  
serene sleeping face of Deedlit from the Record Of Lodoss War  
OAV.  
Quickly she began issuing orders and pointed to the  
foilage above them. "You two! Secure the area! I'll take  
care of her."  
Both saluted and leapt into the trees with the sounds  
of clanging swords quickly following.  
Angie however began to play with her captive. "Hmm...  
she's pretty cute." She ran one white gloved hand along then  
under the high elf's breastplate and rubbed one of Deedlit's  
long ears between the fingers and thumb of the other. "I like  
what this is protecting, even if it looks kinda weird, but I  
can't stand these donkey ears. Too bad the outfit isn't the  
ceremonial one though..."  
Deedlit could only moan appreciatively in response.  
Angie giggled until she heard she the battle cries  
getting closer. "Hmm, I should probably hurry..." She leaned  
in close to Deedlit's other ear and whispered "This spell  
doesn't last long and the Marmo are going to Fire Dragon  
Mountain, remember that."  
Suddenly Shiris lept from the trees causing Angie to  
back away. With one slash of her sword the red-haired woman  
cut through Deedlit's bindings and the two fell to the  
underbrush below.  
Angie rushed after them with the two returning male  
dark elves at her side. That is until one of them was cut  
from sternum to smile and fell dead to the ground.  
As the surviving dark elves perched themselves on a  
branch, a young man in brown armour and a green tunic stepped  
forth, as did a large man with a long broadsword. Shiris was  
holding the still sleeping Deedlit on the ground.  
His sword drawn, the young man named Parn spoke. "What  
do you want with her?!"  
Angie was more concerned with the large man though.  
With an obviously overexaggerated gasp she mumbled "You're a...?"  
"That's RIGHT!" Shiris brashly stated pointing to her  
massive companion Orson. "Even you guys are afraid of  
berserkers! And he won't go easy on you because you're a lady!"  
Angie cooed. "I think a retreat is in order."  
And with that she and the remaining associate lept into  
the trees...  
  
Meanwhile, somewhere neither here nor there, Lita and  
Seta-chan pondered in thought.  
Well, Seta pondered while leaning on her timestaff. Lita  
paced like a caged animal.  
"I wanna go after him right now!" she exclaimed.  
"You're rushing off after him haphazardly." replied the  
Pluto.  
"So?"  
Seta sighed. "You ALWAYS do that, Scott WRITES you that  
way!"  
Lita stopped pacing to look her in the face. "So?"  
"If you resist doing it, you'll start to break free of  
him!"  
Now it was Lita's turn to ponder. "I suppose you're  
right." She couldn't help her sudden urge to fidget, however.  
"So now what do we do?"  
"We figure out where they went, where they will go and  
the best opportunity to catch them"  
Lita blinked. "You mean we don't even know where they  
are yet?"  
"No," started the Pluto as she looked into the garnet  
orb atop her timestaff. "Which is another reason why you can't  
just chase off after him."  
The dub Sailor narrowed her eyes. "Angie writes you as  
a pain in the ass on purpose doesn't she?"  
Seta took on an enigmatic smile as she continued staring  
at the orb. "Only half of the time. The other half I'm just  
inherantly like that."  
She turned to face the brunette, still smiling upon  
seeing the bewildered look on her face.  
"Don't worry about it, it's a Pluto thing."  
  
Scott didn't know WHAT the hell was going on.  
He looked glumly into the reflective lake and sighed.  
The sunset would turn to dusk soon, but the darkness was the  
least of his worries. It was figuring out just exactly who he  
was, where he was, where "here" was and why he was there. That  
and finding out where Angie and the garnet had gotten to as  
well.  
"I must've ended up in some AD&D adventure or something  
instead of an anime this time." He sighed again. "I don't even  
get to be with the pretty green-eyed blonde elfgirl either,  
instead I have to BE the pretty green-eyed blonde elfgirl  
herself."  
Out of the corner of his eye Scott noticed a pair of  
pink eyes shimmering in the reflective water. In the time it  
took to do a double-take the eyes weren't there anymore.  
Shrugging it off as an illusion caused by the setting sun he  
began to walk towards a tree.  
"Damnit, I can't even shake this prissy walk. I'm  
swaying EVERYTHING here!" A quick gust of wind causing the  
floor-length royal blue cape and waist-length hair to billow  
didn't help things. Grabbing at the hair he said "How am I  
supposed to manage this without a Mina bow?!"  
Hopping high up into the tree (as high elves are prone  
to do), Scott managed a weak smile and sat on a branch. He  
kept his long legs crossed at the calves in a somewhat regal  
pose though since the green tunic he wore had a SHORT loose  
skirt which didn't cover much while his soft flat boots only  
reached to mid-calf.  
Suddenly, many little glowing fairies started to fly  
about him, a similar occurance to the many prior ones that  
had distracted him already. As they flew about his cupped  
hands all he could do was giggle.  
Until an arm wrapped itself around his waist that is.  
Before he could do anything another hand covered his  
mouth, the gloved index finger pushing between his shiny lips  
then thrusting in and out.  
Scott was too busy being 'lost' as he found himself  
instinctively sucking the finger that he didn't even notice  
the first hand slowly move down and reach under his skirt for  
a second set of lips to penetrate until a breathy voice  
whispered into a long ear.  
"Miss me Scott-chan?"  
His eyes flew open as he shouted "NNGEE?!" into the  
hand on his mouth.  
Letting go of him, Angie giggled. "Hai!"  
Scott blinked as he faced her. "I thought my outfit  
was revealing. I mean this breastplate is just that, a  
BREASTplate. But you...!"  
Angie, in the dark-skinned Pirotess, practically  
posed. The purple tunic had a skirt as long as Deedlit's,  
but was infinitely tighter (emphasized by her crossing her  
legs WELL above the knees), as was the top part which was  
basically two straps of material covering her breasts. It  
redefined the word "cleavage" in more ways than one. The  
thigh-high heeled boots only served to accentuate the sultry  
appearance.  
She ran one of her short-gloved hands through her  
knee-length white hair, ponytailed near the small of her back.  
"Nice outfit, ne? Ne? Ne?"  
Scott blinked. "Even though I think my elf is cuter,  
I must admit that you are pretty damn hot, in an evil sort of  
way."  
Angie gave a quick V sign an I giggled again. "Arigato  
Scott-chan! And by the way, I'm Pirotess and you're Deedlit.  
Any idea what anime we're in?"  
He thought for a moment. "Deedlit and Pirotess?  
They're from Lodoss War right?"  
"Yep! What do you think so far?"  
"I'm thinking it's been a weird couple of hours."  
"Oro?"  
"Well the first thing I remember after we warped  
out of the last place was a REALLY good feeling dream..."  
Angie began to giggled softly at that, but Scott didn't  
even seem to notice. "...and then I wake up with these  
guys all surrounding me and I've got this desire to tell  
them about the 'Marmo' and 'Fire Dragon Mountain,'  
whatever THOSE are." He sighed yet again. "And to top it  
all off, I'm in THIS body!"  
Angie pondered a moment and suddenly smiled. "You  
know, that body DOES suit you Scott-chan: the noble elfgirl."  
He sighed. "First Lita back in Utena and now you?  
It's just not fair..."  
"What's a body?" began Angie. "Nearly a dress to be  
worn and discarded with time?"  
"What?"  
"Baka."  
"What kind of armour is this anyway?" he continued,  
pointing at his shoulders. "I mean, isn't this overkill  
considering anything below my chest is unprotected?" He then  
grabbed his own wrists. "And what the hell are these?  
Handless gloves?"  
Angie shrugged. "So the character designer focused  
more on looks than practicality, so what?"  
Scott frowned. "Could I be any thinner either? This  
whole body is so slender! Arms, legs, ears, my sword, my  
fingers..." He looked at said appendages. "Hell, they're  
perfectly manicured! And you've even got make-up on!"  
Angie looked at him pointedly. "Well you ARE going  
with the natural beauty look as the heroine it seems, but  
you've still got some lipgloss or something on too you know."  
Scott was practically frantic. "Still, how the  
heck can we have that kind of stuff in medieval times?!"  
The dark elf leaned over and put her arm around the  
high elf's shoulders, which was tricky given the shoulderpads  
of the armour. "If you think about it too much you'll strain  
yourself AGAIN..." She looked at Scott's forehead and the  
little three-stoned pendant held there by a thin string.  
"Though what THAT is makes me curious."  
Scott felt the headband-thingie then looked at Angie.  
"You're wearing one too you know, only it looks more like a  
fishing lure with all the hooks straightened out."  
Angie looked up with her pale green eyes as if trying  
to see her own forehead. "True. It's an elven cultural thing  
I guess. Though I REALLY hate these stupid ears."  
They unconsciously leaned against each other enjoying  
the familiarity. "So, what now?" asked Scott.  
"Well, in an hour or so you are going to ride with  
those guys you saw earlier: Parn's the dork in green and  
beige, Shiris is the redhead who saved you and Orson's the big  
guy. Don't piss him off."  
The blonde cocked her head. "Why not?"  
"Just trust me." she replied flatly. "Anyway, you'll  
meet up with them and then you'll go to that Fire Dragon  
Mountain. I'll head there too and we'll end up having a big  
battle in the dragon's den." She paused in thought. "Hmmm..."  
"What?"  
"I'm just wondering where Izzy-chan is. Maybe he's in  
Shooting Star?"  
Scott was clueless (as usual). "Shooting Star?  
What's that?"  
Angie scrunched her face in thought. "An ancient  
dragon."  
Scott's elven eyes boggled. "I don't want to  
encounter a hentai tentacle -dragon-." He tightly wrapped the  
cape up around him and clutched the clasp. "This is one elf  
who does NOT want to be ravaged!"  
In an impressive feat of balance only two elves could  
pull off without (intentional) injury, Angie straddled Scott  
on the branch and cupped his face. "Are you sure about that,  
Scott-chan?" she asked as she ran her fingers along one of  
Scott's ears once more.   
Though he started to submit, Scott blinked. "Uh, I  
thought you hated these ears?"  
Her leer was unmistakable. Nuzzling his neck she  
mumbled "Wait'll you see what I can DO with them..."  
As she took the entire length of an ear into her mouth,  
tongue gliding along the inside of it, Scott's only response  
was with his green little elfgirl eyes:  
(o_O)  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
===============================================================  
  
Scott: (blink!) Lodoss War isn't quite what I expected it  
would be! (feels an elongated ear) Plus we're not even human  
this time!  
  
Angie: Oh hush you, I'm having fun-chan!  
  
Scott: You would! Look at you!  
  
Angie: (like, all innocent, and stuff) What?  
  
Scott: (-_-) You're unbelievable...  
  
Angie: (got an idea!) Ne, want to see something REALLY  
unbelievable?  
  
Scott: (this can't be good...) What?  
  
(Angie closed her Pirotess eyes in thought and suddenly  
split into five little SD Chibi-Angies!)  
  
Chibi-Angies: (all 5 of 'em!) KAWAII, NE? NE?! NE?!?  
  
Scott: (O_O) Isn't that infringing on one of the  
character profiles from Chaos' Fanbo--  
  
Chibi-Angies: (yep, all 5 of 'em again!) SHUSH! Dub-Boy  
no baka! ^_^ Besides, there's only FIVE of us!  
  
Scott: Um, I've never seen you do that before... Why can  
you now?  
  
Chibi-Angie #1: Because I can.  
  
(As Scott facefaulted, one of the Chibi-Angie's wandered  
off. Behind her a shadow portal opened and she was suddenly  
grabbed by a whip wrapping itself around her body. With  
nary a chance to shout she was pulled into the portal which  
quickly closed behind her.)  
  
Scott: Alright that's enough fun, we've already wasted  
practically the entire author's notes here as it is!  
(looks around) Hey, Where'd #4 go?  
  
Chibi-Angie #2: Doesn't matter!  
  
Scott: Wait! Without her you can't properly reassemble  
yourself yet!  
  
Chibi-Angies: (all... er, 4 of em!) Sure we can, see!  
  
(they reassembled into one once more, resuming the  
appearance of a regular-sized Pirotess instead of the  
chibi one.)  
  
Scott: How do you feel?  
  
Angie: (ponders) Hmmmm... (^_^) YAY! My inhibitions  
are gone!  
  
Scott: You had inhibitions? (faces Angie) (O_O) EEP!  
  
(Angie's shadow loomed over him as the scene fades...)  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Questions? Comments? Arrows?  
(thrawn27@hotmail.com, emporess88@hotmail.com or  
darksong@worldserpent.org)  
Webpage: http://members.tripod.com/~Thrawn27/plutosatt.html  
and http://www.geocities.com/emporess888/plutos.htm for charecter  
profiles and other fun info.  
Also see carnage.fanfic.org for Chaos' Curse Of The Fanboys!  
  



	8. Outake 5-A New Hope

"Welcome to the monkey house" ~ Kurt Vonnegut  
  
So I thought my life was at least somewhat normal back in the day. I thought  
that I had seen a lot of weird stuff in my life - which I had, but only weird  
stuff that I thought was weird before I came to the Sekai no Ecchi.  
  
I can hear you people in the audience, asking, "What the fuck is the Sekai no  
Ecchi?"  
  
To answer that question, I have to tell you a story. The story of a guy  
who was in high school who met up with an ecchi Queen, a Goth lord, and a  
wimp. Naturally, it wasn't just any ecchi Queen, Goth lord, and wimp... it  
was Angie, DS, and Shinji.  
  
Before I start on my tale I'd like to note that it is mine, so I will be taking  
some poetic licenses. I'm not going to tell my story in first person - deal.  
The guy you all know as Scott, I'm going to call him Shinji. Why? Because that's  
how they introduced him to me, and it's a funnier name.  
  
It all began in the summer of 2000, at Otakon, the Convention of the Otaku  
Generation...  
  
===============================================================  
  
"When Plutos Attack!"  
Concept by Scott "Cyclops" Summerton and Emporess   
This tale by Moogle (moogle@fanforce.net)  
  
Side Story - "A New Hope" or "How The Fuck Did I Get This Damn Curse, Anyway?"  
  
===============================================================  
  
The young man ran his hand through his hair and sighed. Procrastinating, he  
realized not for the first time, always came back to bite you in the ass at  
the end.  
  
In this particular case, he'd been procrastinating telling his parents that  
he was going to go into Baltimore for the weekend and hang out with a bunch  
of anime fans. He'd also failed to tell them yet that he was going to be staying  
in a hotel room being paid for by someone he'd never met before. In fact, the  
only person he knew who was staying there was a girl who he knew online but had  
never really talked to before then.  
  
He laid back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, whistling "Dr. Worm" by  
They Might Be Giants--  
  
Mark: Look, shut up, okay? I know that I didn't hear of They Might Be Giants until  
I went to Otakon, but I said this is my story and I'm taking poetic licenses!  
  
He laid back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, whistling the main theme to  
Star Wars. It was something that he tended to do a lot when he ended up backing himself  
a corner that he had to slickly play himself out of, something that he frequently  
did. In a strange way it kept his life from being boring.  
  
Mark Brown, a blooming anime fan, longtime Star Wars fan, and novice player of  
Dungeons and Dragons, sighed again as he stood up and walked downstairs. It was time  
that he informed his parents that he was going.  
  
Strolling down the steps in the suburban house, he called out, "Hey Mom, Dad?"  
  
Silence answered him. He called out again, "Uh, anyone home?"  
  
"Yeah, doofus," replied his sister from where she was sitting and typing away on the  
computer, "but not Mom and Dad, 'cause they went to the store."  
  
"Oh."  
  
The soon-to-be-otaku whirled and headed back up the stairs, one middle finger extended  
towards the sky on general principle.  
  
"Screw you too, Murphy," he added as an afterthought.  
  
He could always count on Murphy, if nothing else.  
  
***  
  
Three hours and two hundred pages later, the door opened downstairs - his parents were  
home, it appeared. It was as much the fact that he knew no one else was gone to come home  
as his Mom shouting, "We're home, kids!" when they walked in the door that tipped him in  
to who it was.  
  
Though, of course he couldn't go bother them right away, because you never go bother them  
right away. You wait for them to settle down, so they're not still pissed off about  
something that happened on the road, or the stupid cashier at the store who can't count  
change. Right when they've sat down, flicked on the TV or picked up their book, and  
just want everyone to go away so they can relax.  
  
"Hey, Mom?"  
  
Which was precisely what Mark did on that Thursday afternoon. Right when his mom was  
settling down to read her book, and would say anything for him to go away and let her  
be in peace, was when he struck.  
  
Fasten your seatbelts - rapid dialogue time!  
  
Mark's Mom: "What is it, Mark?"  
  
Mark: "You didn't have anything you wanted me to do this weekend, did you?"  
  
Mark's Mom: "No, why?"  
  
Mark: "There was this thing downtown that I kind of wanted to go to..."  
  
Mark's Mom: "That sounds great! Why don't you have Daddy drive you on his way to work?"  
  
Mark: "Er... really?"  
  
Mark's Mom: "Sure!"  
  
Okay, so maybe that wasn't very much rapid dialogue after all.  
  
The stunned teenager turned and walked upstairs. If procrastinating was always this easy,  
he idly thought as he bounded two steps at a time, then it can probably be done more often.  
  
He'd come to regret those words when it was time for his Senior Year English Term Paper,  
but THAT is another story entirely...  
  
***  
  
It was later that evening that events were set in motion that would change the fate  
of the world as everyone knew it. It all began with a phone call. One tiny ripple in  
the pool that was known as the history of the world, that would change the essence of  
all things, and thus the existence of all things. For the pool sits, waiting, for just  
that one pebble to be thrown into the pond...  
  
Mark: What? Okay, fine, I'm stopping the deep philosophical shit.  
  
Later that evening, while he was again in his room, the phone rang.  
  
"Moshi-moshi?" Mark answered.  
  
Mark: Of course I know that I didn't even know what moshi-moshi meant then, but doesn't  
it sound cooler than "Hello?" Fine, fine, you win... (under breath) Asshole.  
  
The teenager reached over and grabbed up the phone on the first ring, not wanting anyone  
else to answer the phone.  
  
"Hello?" Mark answered.  
  
"Hi, is Mark there?" was the reply.  
  
"Yep, that's me," came the reply to the reply.  
  
Fuck it, dialogue sucks. Rapid dialogue time again.  
  
Caller: Hi, it's Amber.  
  
Mark: Oh, hey! I was waiting to hear back from you.  
  
Amber: Got a pen and paper? I have the hotel stuff...  
  
Mark: Uh, right, hold on. (fumbles with stuff, fetches pen and paper) Got it.  
  
Mark's Dad: Hello?  
  
Mark: (sweatdrop) Dad, I have the phone already.  
  
Mark's Dad: Oh, okay. (click)  
  
Amber: Your dad is strange...  
  
Mark: Yeah. I know.  
  
Amber: Anyway, we're in the Tremont Plaza Hotel. Do you know where that is?  
  
Mark: No clue. I can look it up though. What room?  
  
Amber: 1407.  
  
Mark: Okay. Uh... when do you want me to get there?  
  
Amber: (yelling off phone) ANGIE! When should Mark come tomorrow?  
  
Angie: WHO THE FUCK IS MARK?!  
  
Amber: The guy you said could stay in the room?  
  
Angie: Oh! Him. Tell him to come when we're getting ready to go to the con.  
  
Amber: (back on phone) She says come around nine tomorrow.  
  
Mark: Cool... see you then!  
  
Amber: Bye!  
  
Rapid dialogue faded back into reality as Mark hung up the phone. Speaking of reality, it  
finally sank in that he was going to an anime convention and hanging out with people. As  
he suddenly remembered he needed to get directions to the hotel, he sprang off of his bed  
and ran downstairs to print out directions.  
  
***  
  
The black-clad figure raised an eyebrow as he heard a phone click down on the receiver  
elsewhere. The Perv had been quiet lately, until just now, in fact. He felt something, a   
presence he'd not felt since...  
  
"Angie," he started suddenly.  
  
"What's up, DS?" replied the Ota-Ecchi-Queen in her usual genki tone.  
  
"I wonder... who the fuck is 'Mark'?" There was a suspicious tone to his voice, as   
though he thought there was something false about the guy who was coming to stay in the   
room the next day.  
  
"Dunno," Angie said, as she didn't yet know the importance of everything. "Some dude."  
  
DS, the Lord of Things That Go Bump In The Night, grunted. "I've got a feeling about him...  
It's a feeling I've got deep in my gut..."  
  
Angie laughed as she shook her head. "It's your ulcers again, asshole."  
  
DS grinned and said, "I guess so." But he didn't really believe her.  
  
Wait until the morning, he thought to himself, then she'll see.   
  
***  
  
The morning came, and as with every morning, there were a whole bunch of things that  
might have happened. Mark might have never been able to make it to the city. He might have  
somehow never found Angie and company.  
  
Not that any of them knew yet what was to come from the meeting of Mark and Angie, but  
always there are might-have-beens.  
  
At the time, Mark was walking down a street in Baltimore, towards a hotel he'd never been  
to, where he was going to meet people who he had never before seen in his life, then go to  
a convention with thousands of other people that he had never seen before and would never  
see ever again. Except at the next year's convention, but of course he didn't know that  
then.  
  
With that settled, he adjusted the Star Wars bucket hat that rested on his head, and turned  
to walk into the lobby of the Tremont Plaza Hotel as he passed it on the street.  
  
He noticed first that it was air conditioned, a definite plus considering it was shaping up  
to be a hot and humid August day in Baltimore. It's quite hard to go wrong with an air  
conditioner in the summer.  
  
The second thing that he noticed was that the place was huge. Like thirty stories huge.  
  
Coming to his mind third was that he was there twenty minutes early, so he sat down in the  
lobby in a huge comfortable chair and finished reading his Star Wars book from the day  
before.  
  
Before he was even really aware of it, twenty-five minutes passed.  
  
'Guess it's time to get on the elevator,' he told himself.  
  
'No shit, Sherlock!' His self, or what he thought was himself, responded.  
  
'Hey, who the fuck are you? Why are you talking back to me?'  
  
'You'd be a smartass to someone like yourself, too.' He'd have sworn his self wore a smirk.  
  
'Look, I'm not going to take this shit. I'll throw your ass right out of there.'  
  
'Just get on the damn elevator, you moron.'  
  
'Heheheheheh... ehehehe... heheh... heh... right.'  
  
Having been brutally smacked down by his own whatever-the-fuck-that-was, he stood up and  
walked over to the elevators in the hotel. He pressed the button to summon an elevator to  
take him upwards, then stood back to take a look at the little monitor that told him where  
each of the three elevators was.  
  
Mark: Yes, there really was a monitor that showed that. It was the coolest thing I'd ever  
seen before. Well, not really, but you know how that goes. You don't? Fuck's sake, LEARN  
TO RECOGNIZE EXAGGERATION, ASSHOLE. Anyway.  
  
Before long came a noise - DING! - as one of the elevators reached the ground floor and  
opened up doors. Elevator music greeted him inside, his lone external companion on the  
fourteen floor journey upwards. There was still the issue of his self, whom he was quickly  
starting to think was a complete bastard.  
  
"Here I am," he proclaimed to his reflection in the brass plating of the elevator interior,  
"being spontaneous and adventurous. And I have a crazy voice in my head."  
  
'I'm the crazy one? Hey, you're the one who is going to stay in a hotel room with people  
you've never met before,' retorted the voice.  
  
Grudgingly, the Star Wars fanboy had to concede the point.  
  
Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately,) since he was on the trip up the elevator, it didn't  
make any stops on the way to the fourteenth floor, and thus he was at the top within  
fairly short order.  
  
A DING! announced the arrival of the elevator on the 14th floor, and the fanboy stepped  
out. He gulped and took a step outside of the elevator.  
  
Then he kicked himself for being dramatic about stepping out of a freaking elevator because  
it was just the hallway of the floor, not the room of the people he was staying with.  
  
Mark took a brief moment to get his bearings. Room 1407 seemed to be in the corner of the  
hallway, so he strolled over to it and paused as though he looked like he was considering  
something. But no, he wasn't, he just knocked right after a brief pause.  
  
It sounded like there was groaning coming from inside, but that couldn't have been right  
because he was assured that they would be leaving for the convention around now. Probably  
just caught them on their way out, he thought to himself with relief.  
  
The door unlocked and cracked open just a bit, and someone who wasn't Amber (because he'd  
seen Amber's picture before and could tell this wasn't her) stuck her head out and gave him  
the Evil Eye.  
  
"Who the fuck are you?" she demanded.  
  
Now, pessimist that he was, Mark was expecting some crazy shit to happen from meeting people  
he knew (or didn't know) online. It wasn't something he'd done every day, or ever, for that  
matter. As such he'd considered a lot of things that might happen. None of them, however,  
consisted of the first words being spoken to him being "Who the fuck are you?"  
  
"Uh... hi," he managed, lamely. "I'm Mark..." This gave him a blank look. "Uh... the guy  
who you said could stay in the room?"  
  
"Oh, hey. I'm Angie. Come on in."  
  
As the door swung open a bit more, Mark stepped into the hotel room, and thus began his  
first convention experience. Little did he know it then, but it would also alter the fate  
of his life.  
  
***  
  
Otakon 2000 was an adventure in and of itself for our budding otaku, and while more than a  
few tales could be spun about various adventures and misadventures during the con, this fic  
is not being written about Otakon 2000, it's just using it as a jumping point for shit to  
happen. So none of you get to hear about the parts that don't matter, which includes MAT3K,  
sleeping on the floor next to a lesbian, and trying to dance to the Child's Toy opening  
song.  
  
Mark: I'd better not hear any whining, or I'll have to start killing people. Don't think I'm  
kidding! You know I'm unstable.  
  
The next day, after Shinji had arrived late from the airport, and Mark had been introduced  
to the gang and gotten to interact with them, a discussion took place that forever altered  
the world of two teenagers.  
  
While the other occupants of the room - Amber, Vera, Sana-chan, and Mark himself - were out  
doing various things at the con, DS, Angie, and Shinji found themselves discussing the new  
male who had happened into their lives.  
  
Yes, that's right, it was a rapid dialogue discussion!  
  
DS: What do you guys think of Moogie?  
  
Shinji: He seems kinda quiet to me.  
  
DS: You'd be quiet too around a bunch of people you'd never met before, baka-boi.  
  
Shinji: Maybe...  
  
Angie: (gets a wicked look) ...  
  
DS: That look frightens me.  
  
Shinji: Yeah, me too!  
  
DS: Everything frightens you, Scott!  
  
Shinji: Oh, yeah.  
  
Angie: I just had an idea!  
  
Shinji: Run away! Run away! Angie has an idea!  
  
Angie: (smites Shinji, who flies out the window) Baka.  
  
Shinji: KYAAAAAAAAAAA! (falling fourteen stories) *CRUNCH!* (hits the ground and is run over  
by a taxi)  
  
DS: That must have hurt.  
  
Angie: Nah, Shinji's got the eternally cursed luck, he never dies.  
  
DS: So... what's your idea?  
  
Angie: Moogie and Hime-chan.  
  
DS: KAWAII!  
  
Shinji: (from the pavement) kawa*hack*ii  
  
Angie: (beam) That's what I thought, too!  
  
DS: (raises an eyebrow) But how are you going to pull it off...?  
  
Angie: Well, you know how Plutos like having more people to torture...  
  
DS: That's cruel!  
  
Angie: ^_^v Love is all you need!  
  
DS: Now that you mention it, I figured out what that feeling was from Thursday...  
  
Angie: And?  
  
DS: It was Moogie. He is to be the next Ecch-i Knight. He is The One.  
  
Angie: Excellent... then, we have found a new hope.  
  
And that was that, really. Though neither of the two of them knew it, their fates were ever  
sealed.  
  
***  
  
Months passed. Plans were hatched, hammered out, scrapped, reborn, reworked, trashed,  
created, edited, and finalized. Well, maybe not finalized. As Angie indicated, the Plutos  
would be more than happy to bring another player into their eternal game of character  
torture, and were willing to cooperate once she presented them a plan. That was just the  
problem, though, because she and DS couldn't seem to agree on a single idea in their shared  
brain. In the end, she left it in the Plutos' hands, as long as she got her desired results.  
  
Mark: And I got fucked over hardcore.  
  
Hey, shut the fuck up, someone is telling a story here!  
  
Mark: Don't tell me to shut the fuck up! You're me, and this is my story!  
  
Quit making sense, asshole.  
  
Mark: Whatever...  
  
Of course, Plutos only do things for their own amusement. And this was left ENTIRELY up to  
them. You can imagine that the results probably weren't very pleasant for our budding otaku.  
  
The next and final phase of his entrance into the Sekai no Ecchi materialized on a random  
day as he walked down the street near his house. He strolled along, whistling "Blue Moon" by  
The Marcels-  
  
-and suddenly he was free-falling in midair, and normally he'd have been screaming "WHAT THE  
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?" but he was too surprised to do much more than stare blankly as he  
soared through the blue skies and the ground raced towards him faster and faster. Or maybe  
he raced towards it, but he was too spooked to care, and he also didn't notice that his   
clothes had changed into the very outfit he wore that first day at Otakon, the Star Wars   
fanboy garb, and as he got closer to the ground, he saw what seemed like a lake racing up   
at him, and it was directly underneath him, and he was going to land in it pretty soon so   
hopefully it would keep him from dying or something and-  
  
SPLASH!  
  
He was alive, and he was soaked, and as he shook off himself his hair whipped around his  
head, and-  
  
"Wait a minute, what the fuck?" he exclaimed as the offending hair appeared in his vision.  
It was a braid. He tugged on it. Yep, it was definitely attached to his head, he thought  
as he checked.  
  
Mark climbed out of the lake, in the process looking down at himself... or more accurately,  
in the process looking at herself. Yep, they were real, he thought as he checked.  
  
"Well, shit," she said as she continued to walk away from the pool-  
  
-and then stepped off the side of a plateau that she didn't know was there, falling again  
through the air where she passed someone who'd been punted who conveniently hit her with  
warm water and made him his real gender again, and then he kept falling towards the ground,  
where there looked like there were houses and trees and a street and people were walking  
down the street and he was yelling really loud as he got close to the ground and-  
  
***  
  
For the Ecchi no Hime-chan, life was pretty good. She was the heir to the female side of the  
throne of her own world, she had a bunch of friends, and she had an adoring bunch of fans.  
As she walked down the sidewalk on a bright and sunshiny afternoon in the Sekai no Ecchi,  
she heard some screaming above her but ignored it. Life, she decided, could only be any  
better if a boyfriend fell out of the sky.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! GET OUT OF THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!" the voice was screaming  
as Mark hurtled down from the skies straight at Kate.  
  
She was too busy daydreaming to hear him, and thus the inevitable CRASH!  
  
Mark groaned from his place on the ground in a tangled mass of fanboy and fangirl body  
parts. His luck could get no worse, he was sure. Falling from a stable life into the  
Nyannichuan spring (that is, the Spring of Drowned Girl), and then stepping out of that  
and falling further, straight into someone that he probably didn't even want to meet but  
ended up having the worst possible icebreaker with them. He reached a hand around to grab  
onto the ground to stand himself up...  
  
"Wait a second, the ground doesn't squish..." he said, then blushed as he realized what he  
did. "Uh, I'm sor-"  
  
Mark: Time out for a second. Now, consider that up until about sixty seconds ago, Mark was  
strolling along, oblivious to the existence of the Sekai no Ecchi. Consider that through  
no fault of his own did he find himself falling through the sky to be cursed by a Jusenkyo  
spring within the first thirty seconds of his arrival, and through no fault of his own did  
he then hurtle through the skies to crash-land into a day-dreaming Kate-chan. Also through  
no fault of his own did he end up groping said Kate-chan. Will he find a rational and  
understanding person? Time in.  
  
"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, HENTAI?!" screamed Kate-chan as she launched off of the ground and  
smote Mark so hard that he flew backwards and crashed against a nearby tree. She brushed  
herself off, gave an arrogant female "Hmph", and walked away.  
  
Mark: Beginnings are so humble, aren't they?  
  
For his part, Mark had the grace to look embarrassed. He stood up and patted the dust off  
of himself, still having no clue what in the Nine Hells was going on.  
  
"My name's Mark..." he extended his hand out towards the stalking femme (who was out of  
earshot), "...what's yours?"  
  
He shook his head as Kate-chan walked off, wondering to himself, 'What the fuck is going  
on around here?'  
  
The voice in his head answered him. 'Welcome to the Sekai no Ecchi. Keep your seatbelt  
buckled and your ass on a chair, or else you'll crash and get fucked.'  
  
"Nice to know," Mark mumbled, then walked off in the opposite direction of the brunette  
he had inadvertently fallen onto.  
  
Somewhere at the Gate of Time, a Pluto with pink eyes cackled insanely. "Mission  
accomplished!" she gleefully proclaimed to the empty expanse.  
  
***  
  
Later that day - or at least, he was pretty sure that it was that same day because the sun  
set - Mark found himself wandering around a mostly empty expanse of wooded area, getting  
increasingly more frustrated at his new surroundings that he knew absolutely nothing about.  
  
So far he had figured out a few things.  
  
Thing 1: He wasn't in Kansas anymore, Toto.  
Thing 2: His clothes had changed on his 'arrival' into wherever the hell this was.  
Thing 3: He now seemed to be a magnet for water of any temperature.  
Thing 4: The place was real, yet the place also had anime characters in it.  
  
He reached out and slammed his fist into a tree trunk in frustration. To his amazement, the  
tree listed, then toppled and fell to the ground. He stared at his hand in awe. That, he  
decided, certainly wasn't normal.  
  
"Ha," he said to no one in particular. "Who am I, Ranma?" It was intended as a joke, but  
once he thought about it for a second he fell over right quick. Which was when a hilt jammed  
into his stomach. Closer inspection revealed it to be a scabbard for a sword. "You've got  
to be kidding me..."  
  
His hand strayed to grasp the handle that stuck out of the scabbard. He paused, a gasp   
escaping his lips. Suddenly it seemed like Mark KNEW what to do with that sword. His feet  
shifted to a position used by Kenshin for battoujutsu. "Whoa," he said to the wilderness  
around him.  
  
The fanboy-turned-swordsman scanned his surroundings, looking for something he could use to  
see if he really did have some sudden knowledge of sword techniques. A tree next to the one  
he'd just inadvertently downed looked like a pretty good target.  
  
In the blink of an eye he sprang forward as the sword was drawn. Something in the back of  
his mind noticed that the sword was a sakaba-tou, and in an even shorter time he had spun  
it around so the sharp edge faced front. Yelling loudly, he whipped the sword around and it  
slashed through the thick tree trunk effortlessly. With an idle thought Mark stuck out a  
foot and sprang backwards off of the falling trunk to land near where he started. The tree  
fell over much in the same way as the one he had punched.  
  
That, he decided, was pretty damn cool.  
  
Sword in hand - left hand, of course - he walked around, looking for trouble for perhaps the  
first time of his life. Considering his journey was under the watchful eye of a Pluto, it  
was not long in coming.  
  
"This is injustice!" he heard a voice shout as he walked along. "Toppling trees is for the  
weak!"  
  
If Mark didn't know any better, he'd have sworn that Chang Wufei was about to come waltzing  
around the corner. But obviously that couldn't be, because Wufei was a cartoon character  
and they couldn't be real, could they?  
  
Around the same time it occurred to him that if he could have the same curse as Ranma  
Saotome, and wield a sword in the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu, then there probably wasn't anything  
too weird about having one of the Gundam Wing boys roll up and start stepping on his turf.  
  
Not like it changed the fact that Wufei was now standing next to him or anything.  
  
"Hey, are you listening to me?" the pilot of the Altron Gundam demanded. "Silence is for  
the weak!"  
  
"Look pal," Mark said in a level tone, "I don't have time to deal with this shit right now.  
I just fucking got here a few hours ago and I have no clue where the fuck I am, why the fuck  
I'm here, or why the fuck YOU'RE here, and especially not why you're in my personal space."  
  
"Don't you curse at me, weakling!"  
  
Wufei leapt at him with a fist extended. Mark leaned his torso back and yawned, causing  
Wufei to fly right past where his upper body had been a second ago. The Gundam pilot also  
ended up smashing into a tree.  
  
"Just leave me alone, and I'm not going to test out more of my l33t sk33lz on you."  
  
Another Wufei rush. The fanboy jumped up in the air to look at a butterfly, which caused  
Wufei to run straight under him and smash into another tree.  
  
The pilot pulled out a gun at that point.  
  
"Tsk tsk," our hero scolded. "Now I have to get mad... HITEN MITSURUGI RYU! RYU TSUI SEN!"  
Impossibly fast, he soared into the air, sword drawn, flat side pointing out, then came down  
in with wicked gravity-aided momentum, and cracked down on Wufei's head.  
  
Mark clapped his hands and sheathed the sakaba-tou, then turned to walk away.  
  
"I'm not done... yet..." Wufei proclaimed in a heavy voice, as he slowly clambered to his  
feet.  
  
"Dammit, won't you just go away? I'm about to get-"  
  
Wufei rushed him again.  
  
He sighed. "-mad."  
  
The Chinese pilot came dashing forward. Mark simply stood there with a blank look on his  
face, until suddenly he called out, "KACHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!" With unbelievable speed and  
precision his fists darted out and struck Wufei dozens and dozens of times in his torso,  
arms, and neck. The defeated one flew through the air and slammed into a tree, which toppled  
on impact.  
  
Mark: Hey, look, I'm just going to end this scene before the environmentalists are all over  
my ass, 'cause that's the third tree I've taken out and all. Sorry.  
  
Mark shrugged as he walked off the way Wufei had come. "I guess I am Ranma," he decided.  
Looking back at the beating he had wrought on Wufei, he almost felt guilty for a second, but  
then he said to himself, "Well... he's had it coming for a while."  
  
'Damn right he has,' the voice in his head echoed.  
  
For once, Mark and it were in perfect agreement.  
  
***  
  
Watching all of this from the palace of the Sekai no Ecchi were the two masterminds of it  
all - the Jo'o-sama and DS themselves. Considering it was Angie's world and all, she could  
watch events that were going on through a crystal ball in one of the rooms of the palace. It  
was a centerpoint of convergence for all events, or something like that. She never really  
thought of why it worked, just that she could spy on anyone at any time.  
  
Naturally, at some times, it was more amusing than at other times. She chuckled at one  
memory in particular...  
  
Shinji: (on knees) But Lita! I love you! How can you walk away from me?  
  
Makoto: How many more times to I have to tell you to piss off, AND THAT MY NAME IS MAKOTO?!  
  
Shinji: But I... But...  
  
Makoto: BAKA! (punts Shinji)  
  
Shinji: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (flies through the roof and off into space)  
  
...of course, other times she just didn't want to know...  
  
Mark: But since this story is about me, I'm not going to tell you about that one. Ha!  
  
Either way, watching as Mark stumbled his way through the Sekai no Ecchi was quite amusing.  
Yeah, she winced a bit when he fell into the spring, until she thought about all of the  
ecchi possibilities. But, she was all laughs as Mark hurtled through the sky and  
accidentally groped Kate-chan. And as the scene with Mark giving Wufei a good beatdown  
unfolded, both she and the Ecchi Lord were impressed with the prowess of the newcomer.  
  
So impressed that they launched into rapid dialogue!  
  
DS: The Perv is strong with this one...  
  
Angie: Hai hai! ^^ Moogie must court Kate-chan! Moogie must end the reign of Pokemon terror!  
  
DS: Don't you think he needs to figure out where the fuck he is first?  
  
Angie: He shall learn. He shall perservere.  
  
DS: (sigh) Yare yare. He has to find his way here eventually.  
  
Angie: (looking into crystal ball) Of course! Where do you think Pinky is leading him?  
  
DS: Where does she figure into this?  
  
Angie: Oh, I'm letting her pretend to be a voice in his head.  
  
DS: (wince) He is of sterner stuff than even I first thought...  
  
Angie: Hey, she's not THAT bad... (trails off) Okay, so yes she is, but she gets the job  
done.  
  
DS: How much longer until he gets here?  
  
Angie: Hm... unless I miss my guess, right about... (knocking in distance) now.  
  
DS: Impressive. Most impressive.  
  
On the other side of the palace, the door was opened for Mark by Hino Rei. He stared at her  
a second, as much at it being Hino Rei in the flesh as it being a stunningly attractive  
female in the flesh.  
  
After a minute's pause, he said, "Aren't you going to say 'Who the fuck are you?'"  
  
The Shinto priestess laughed at him. "No, you're Mark, and you're expected. Come on." With  
that she led him through the palace towards Angie and DS (although he didn't know that was  
where he was going).  
  
"Nice place," he remarked, at a loss for anything else to say as he walked through the  
massive hallways.  
  
"It's a lot of fun," Rei replied mischievously, and Mark immediately decided that he didn't   
want to know.  
  
He was right, of course. Though he didn't yet know that the palace belonged to Angie, and  
even if he did know that he didn't yet know the ecchi nature of Angie, he still got the  
feeling it would be better off not to ask. Luckily Rei didn't give details and break his  
poor head at that crucial juncture.  
  
"The Jo'o-sama will see you now," she informed him as they reached a grand-looking chamber,  
then turned and disappeared back into the depths.  
  
Mark called after her, "Who is Jo'o-sama?" but she either didn't hear him or didn't answer  
him. He shrugged and opened one of the huge doors before him, stepping straight into rapid  
dialogue.  
  
DS and Angie: MOOGIE!  
  
Mark: What the fuck? How did you guys get here?  
  
DS: We're always here, Moogie!  
  
Angie: How did YOU get here?  
  
Mark: (deep breath) Well, nothing too out of the ordinary, unless you count falling through   
a sidewalk and hurtling through the air and splashing into a cursed spring, then stepping   
out of that and falling off of a ledge and being splashed with warm water and then falling   
on some chick I'd never seen before in my life and being kicked into a tree by said chick.  
  
Angie: Hm... that's the last time I'll leave something entirely up to the Plutos...  
  
Mark: (blinks) Plutos?  
  
DS: Setsuna, we unworthy peons require your services...  
  
Setsuna: (strolls in with an omniscient aura) You called?  
  
Angie: New guy. (points towards Mark) Give him the run-down.  
  
Setsuna: Okay... well, you know how I'm Sailor Pluto?  
  
Mark: (nodding slowly) Yeah...  
  
Setsuna: The idea is that each universe that exists has it's own Pluto. Mine does, yours  
does, and every other one does. They have, ah, varying degrees of sanity, to say the least.  
  
Mark: This relating to me being here, how?  
  
Setsuna: This place, the Sekai no Ecchi, was created by Angie over there. Which meant that  
there wasn't a specific Pluto to mess with her, so... the entire lot of them have their fun.  
  
Mark: (blinks) I don't get it.  
  
Setsuna: (sigh) Know your Murphy?  
  
Mark: Everyone knows the Murphster.  
  
Setsuna: He's your world's Pluto. And this world? It has infinite Plutos. And they were  
responsible for getting you here.  
  
Mark: (falls over) Fuck, no wonder it was a nightmare.  
  
Setsuna: Yes, well... others have had it worse.  
  
Angie: No they haven't. We just had to make sure Moogie was worthy for our li'l   
Hime-chan. ^^  
  
Mark: Who?  
  
DS: Never mind...   
  
Setsuna: Well, if that's all, I will be going. (exits with omniscient aura in tow)  
  
DS: Thank you!  
  
Mark: Uh... so why am I here again?  
  
DS: Because we want you to be here, baka!  
  
Mark: What about home?  
  
Angie: Oh, that. They won't miss you. See, you simultaneously exist here and there now.  
  
Mark: How does that work?  
  
Angie: I dunno, it does. Trust me. ^^  
  
Mark: (shudder) Well, if that's it, I'll just be going.  
  
DS: We'll find you when we need you, Moogie! And you'll find us if you need us.  
  
Mark: See you around, then.  
  
Without any further adieu he cleared out of there before anything else weird could happen.  
As he left, the palace doors came closed behind him with a bang and he walked off into the  
sunset.  
  
"Guess I may as well make the best of it."  
  
***  
  
And that, people, is how I came to be in the Sekai no Ecchi with the unique affliction of  
being an aquatransexual.  
  
You want to know what happens next? Well stay tuned! The best is yet to come!  
  
***  
  
End.  
4/25/02  
  
Notes:  
  
1. Hard to believe it's been almost two years since I met Angie, DS, and Scott at Otakon in  
2000. Believe it or not, they actually did plan to hook me up with Kate from when they first  
had met me like that.  
  
2. We've been planning to have me as an official part of the cast for a while, but after the  
disaster that started as the Halloweenfic, became "The Readwolf Affair" and then just kind  
of died, it hasn't 'officially' happened in Plutos continuity yet, so I wrote this fic.  
  
3. This has been the first thing we've put out for the public in ages, but hopefully that  
will change now... *glares at those responsible for finishing up Season One*  
  
4. Keep reading! The best really is yet to come! :) 


End file.
